A Fleeting Moment

As a child you awaken with bright eyes and you see the sunrise and sunset with every color. The possibilities are limitless and time just doesn’t seem to affect you or even phase you. You walk along cement sidewalks, grass fields, and asphalt roads with a bike by your side. The world is new and you’re ready to take it by storm. Every idea, every shred of imagination, and every glance into the world holds a million things that can be done- its limitless. You watch TV, play video games, you’re out till the lights go on and then you’re home as the day comes to an end.You’re laying in bed so incredibly eager to see the sunset, play with your toys, go see friends, whatever your heart desired the sunrise would put it in your lap. Your eyes slowly close; innocently unaware.

You wake up and start your day. Oddly every adult looks at you strangely as you’re trying to find yourself. You wake up and look in the mirror a full stare back and you pick the imperfections you see. You become like-minded as the adults and realize “who am I”. You’re also looking strangely at yourself. You see the acne, you see the light in your eyes, and all those ideas you had as a kid are sifting down a rabbit hole of barbed wire. The barbed wire grabs hold of what you, throughout the years, let go of as “impossible”, “not for me”, “not okay because someone said so”, etc. These years are known as the teen years and they’re allegedly the best you ever have. You sit at tables with friends and laugh in corridors of school, you walk outside the campus gates smiling and thinking “this is amazing I can’t wait for tomorrow”. You go to bed that night and you wake up again.

The chime of a phone or the beep of that clock in your room floats around in a manner that you know it's time to get up again. You walk to the bathroom and you’ve become aware of who you are to an extent. You’ve gone through a lot and you don’t fully understand things yet. You go through your day to day grabbing a drink of choice as you walk out the door. You’re walking down the sidewalk and something hits you with a dull sense of melancholy. You stop for a moment and look around. The leaves seem null of the vibrance you once saw even in the darkest rooms. The wind brushes against your skin and you get a chill because it reminds you of the day you said bye to friends thinking that you’d see them tomorrow. You get a glint of the sun through the trees onto the asphalt and it reminds you of the days you played with friends and always tried to avoid the sun spots like it was a spotlight. You sit for a moment and think
“...where did the time go”. You sit down on the bus bench and close your eyes for a moment and it all comes back and a sullen ache hits your chest and radiates through your bones. Your mind goes through a visual color explosion as millions of memories flood in.
The way the grass felt outside your childhood home.
The way the sun warmed your skin during walks with your friends.
The way the wind felt when you were sitting at the playground so eager to get home for whatever reason your naive mind desired.
It all comes back.

You, yes you, that's reading this. I know what's floating in your head and the regrets of what you didn't do, the time you rushed, the time wasted on poor emotions like anger and hatred. It's okay to rush and to feel that way but as quickly as those feelings build it is just a parallel speed to how quickly life goes. Take a moment and go outside for a bit. Sit down and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and keep your eyes closed. You too will find that all the memories you have that boil down to things as simple as your base senses still exist in there. You see what happens is as a child we all rush to enjoy the next thing and the next thing and before you know it those years flee into your teen years. You rush your teen years for whatever possesses your heart whether it's trauma at home, naive heartbreak, a bad day, you name what your reason is because deep inside there's always been a reason for you to rush past all those moments. You throw those teen years to the wind as you did your youth and the alarm finally hits unbeknownst to you what it means. You’ve hit that point whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or older that you reach the thought and fear of mortality. You wish you could go back in time and enjoy those friendships that didn’t last. You wish you could go back in time and tell that person you love them one more time instead of not saying anything or realistically something unfortunately nasty and mean. You wish you could go back and see mom and dad again because no matter what you did you couldn’t justify the time you spent with them. For some, you wish you could go back to times that were simple, I know I do. I wish I could go back and fix things, love harder, and enjoy the little moments again.

Do yourself a favor and take a deep breath. If you’re crying that's okay too. You’ll be okay as bad as I wish I could contradict the following statement I can’t..”What's past has passed. Don’t waste what you have now because you don't want it to be gone like the rest and full of regrets..”

Wipe your tears, breathe deeply and exhale slowly.
Make that phone call.
Give that person a hug.
Tell that person you love them.
Try new things.

Most importantly, enjoy the time you have..clocks don’t go backwards and it's all…a fleeting moment.

I love you.