Nicki hasn't said more than two words to me since we've gotten home. She's locked herself in her bedroom and won't come out. She's barely said anything to me, and she hasn't eaten. I took a break from knocking but I'm ready to start back so I could check on her. I know she's probably scared and hurt right now. She was just assaulted by a delusional asshole.
I knocked on the door not hearing a word being said. "Nicki please open the door. We don't have to talk about it, I just want to make sure you're ok", I heard the door unlock.
I open the door seeing her get back under the covers. I frown getting in bed beside her. "Im sorry", I pulled her closer to me giving her the biggest hug. "Does your eye hurt?", I break the hug looking at her red eye. My anger was starting to become sadness seeing Nicki hide from me. I caressed her face, kissing her bruise. "Thank you baby", she began crying causing my heart to break more. I should've been there for her, I wasn't paying attention.
I wipe her tears away as I hugged her. I knew it was nothing more I could do to make her feel better. "I'm sorry Nicki I should've been there", I admit.
She wipes her eyes before looking up at me. "It's not your fault Bey. I should've defended myself", she whispered. I hate she felt that way, she shouldn't even have to defend herself against a bully who's much bigger and older than her, AND who's a boy.
"Baby this isn't your fault. Nas is a bully who got what he was looking for", I think back to when I blacked out fighting him. It scared me for a second.
Nicki didn't respond meaning she didn't believe what I was telling her. "Baby", she finally looks at me. "None of this was your fault. Please never think that", I kiss her forehead.
"Bey but it is my fault", she says with tears streaming down her face.
How?
"I want to tell you something but you have to promise to not get angry", she gave me the saddest eyes ever. I nod giving her my pinky and promising I wouldn't get angry.
"Do you remember the day Jess and I were in the bathroom alone? And you walked in on us", she says.
I think back to that day and remember it clearly. I always felt like something happened before I walked in but knew Nicki wouldn't allow that.
"I remember", I say and she hesitated to speak.
"Well Jess had been trying to get back together with me since you got here. I've been telling her no constantly but she won't quit. And in the bathroom that day she kissed me after I tried leaving", she admits.
I didn't know how to feel about that but, I felt blindsided by the both of them. She had me in Jess's face right after she made a move on her. And she smiled in my face after kissing her ex girlfriend.
I didn't want to be mad at Nicki so, I tried being calm. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?", I ask wanting to hear her side.
"I was scared to Bey, plus I don't have feelings for her anymore. That kiss confirmed that even more for me. I told her at the bar that I wanted you and only you. After that things with Nas started", she explains.
That explains why Jess showed up that night at the theatre. She's been trying to get Nicki back all this time. I couldn't get mad about this kiss since I knew it meant nothing to her. Although I still was salty a tad bit.
"Thank you for telling me", I hug her wiping her tears stained cheeks.
"You have to promise me it won't happen again though", she held her pinky out locking it with mine.
"I wanted to tell you something too. Remember that night you performed at the theatre and someone knocked on your door, well it was Jess trying to talk to you", I frown regretting not telling her.
"I know", she says causing my anxiety to ease.
"How did you know?", I ask realizing what she said.
"I was on the other side of the door not down the street", we both laugh.
Our conversation was cut short by the doorbell which was weird because neither of us was expecting anyone.
We both were downstairs but I opened the door just in case.
"The fuck are you doing here?", I yell pushing Jess back causing her to fall on the porch.
"I'm not here for this Knowles", she aggressively walked up to me.
"Then why the fuck are you here? I hate you and Nicki doesn't like you so who are you here for?", I cross my arms hoping she would test me so I could give her a bruise worser than Nicki's.
I felt Nicki's hand on my shoulder and she shook her head.
I sigh knowing she wanted me to cool down.
"Jess, why are you here?", she asked.
"I wanted to talk to you", she says causing me to laugh knowing Nicki didn't want to hear a single word from her.
"Alone preferably", she emphasizes stepping away from the door.
Nicki looks at me with an apologetic expression. She was actually going to talk to her. What else was there to say after she let her boyfriend hurt her? I didn't see how Onika could still have a soft spot for her.
"Please, I promise this won't take long", I roll my eyes.
"I'll be right here", I tell her before she walked over to Jess's car.
My patience for this was growing really thin.
Heyyy, I hope y'all enjoy the mini update🫶🏼. Some of you have been wondering why I've been ghost but I promise I'm uploading new stuff right now!
Thoughts on Jess and Beyoncé?
-Nicole💗
