Married at 15

Take me home

Nani's POV

   I can't sleep, I feel empty. The long limbs that usually trapped me in bed are painfully noticeably missing. I asked Bella to share a bed with me, but it wasn't the same.

   I didn't realize how much I'd cried until I woke up and felt the dry, tight feeling around my eyes. "Shit" I say as I wipe my eyes. Bella sits up "Nani-". I cry before she can finish her sentence. And there's nothing left to do but hold me in her arms, whispering empty promises of it's gonna be okay, it'll get better.

   I go downstairs and find a pot to start making some coffee, hopeful that it'll at least make me feel like a human being again. Jesse comes into the room with my other nephew Jeremias. "Hungry?" They both nod as a response. "Sit down I'll make you some chorizo okay?" Jesse smiles "yeah. hey Jeremías can you go to the other room with your brother, I wanna talk to tia." My youngest nephew leaves, not yet old enough to understand why I was gone and suddenly back. "What's up with you?" I ask Jesse. He laughs "me?! Why are you here?" I scoff "wow okay, I live here." Jesse stares straight at me "no not really, you live in Korea with your husband. So why are you here?" I sigh "Jesse you know why I'm here" he furrows his brows like he does whenever he's upset, a quirk he's had since he was little "you're not that type of person, when have you ever let anyone lie about you and get away with it." I put down the spoon and take the food off the stove. "I didn't technically let her get away with it I just-" Jesse cuts me off "you were looking for a way out, and now you're realizing that you made a mistake because not even seeing all of us right now can make you happy, because he's not here. You love him, that's okay." I blink my tears away "you know it's disrespectful to lecture your tia like that." Jesse shrugs "but I'm right." I nod "okay I'll think about it."

And I did. It plagued my thought the entire day. Not that Riki could ever be a plague, he was an angel, and every second I beat myself up more for leaving. Had it really been that important. It felt like such a small occurrence looking back at it. It hadn't, and I know that. Someone accused me of being pregnant with Riki's child, implying some really degrading things. I had the right to be upset over being called a slut, but nothing gave me the right to break his heart like that. I'd realized too late that Riki had handed me his heart the second we were legally married. I didn't understand how he could do it, be so open, give his heart to me and trust me to keep it safe. I didn't know how to love before him. He taught me. He showed me how to see the good in things, even in myself. But no matter how much good was in me, it was no match to the pure kindness and love riki had in him. These thoughts of him were what caused me to be sitting in front of my mirror, crying instead of doing my makeup. Nothing could hide the pain that I felt. Because the happiness I had finally found had been taken- no, I let it go.

Riki's POV

Jet lag is no joke, but it hits harder when you can't sleep at all. There was a picture of Nani and her cousins in the room Junior had put me in. Her smile soothes me through the night, that is until I realized how much of a dumbass I was for wiping it off her face. I realized that I had been nothing but an inconvenience for her since I came into her life. I took her away from her family, made her move to a different country and learn two different languages, just to mess it all up again by letting her be ridiculed in front of my eyes. I can't help but regret not doing more.

When I actually get out of bed I go to the bathroom to freshen up and make it seem like I got at least some sleep last night. "How'd you sleep?" Junior asks when we walk out of our rooms at the same time. "Well" I smile but it doesn't quite reach my eyes. "Don't lie to me, you seem worse than yesterday. Is there something extra on your mind?" I sigh, there is so much, "why am I here?" I say "she doesn't need me all I do is ruin her life." Junior sighs, "Riki I need you to listen to me. Because you don't know nani like I do. You weren't here before. When our grandpa died it's like she lost all will to live. She didn't want to do anything. All she did was her chores and after that she'd sit on the swing in my grandmas backyard, praying for what she knew was impossible, because he wasn't coming back. In your mind you must've thought that it was all your fault. Her attitude. The truth is that she had always been excited to meet her husband. She was basically counting down the days once she found out she'd have one. She was two when she found out. They had told her at our cousins wedding. She had cried because she thought she could never have a wedding as big as that one. So we told her about what she could expect on her 15th birthday. She drew pictures of her with faceless men and even though she toned it down as she got older you could always tell that it was something she looked forward to. When we lost our grandpa she blamed his work. She said the business took to much energy from him and thought that if he had rested he'd still be here. So she started hating everything that had to do with the business, including the business deal that brought her to you. But Riki, without you she would never have come back. I- I honestly don't know if she would be with us now if it wasn't for you. Riki she needs you more than she needs anyone. I promise you that."