♤◇ The day your heart stopped beating ◇♤ ||Fyolai||

chapter 2

Nikolai pov

And there it was, the loud bang that filled the silence of the night. The warm wind from the explosion blowing uncomfortably into my face as I turned away. A slight scent of metal and blood filling the atmosphere of the cold dark night.

Bickering heard from the 2 other men with me, watching the scene unfold. I heard one of them ask if Fyodor was truly dead. Of course he was, alone from the metal pole being stabbed into his stomach so disgustingly was enough to kill him. However I felt myself...being guilty..? I just watched all of this happened and didn't do anything... I had one of the most powerful abilities, the overcoat. And yet I didn't know how to use it when it was needed the most. I felt my eyelids getting heavy as I looked at the helicopter, Dazai in the corner of my eyes picking up something as I walked over.

It was Fyodors hand wich he held in such a disgusting way. With two of his fingers as if it was a plate with puke on it. Something you would experience when washing dishes.
I took the hand and held it close. Taking off the card wich was always covering my eye. My true emotions wich I always hid being uncovered so easily. In such a long time I have never felt so...sad? This emotion wich I had tried to hard to get rid of.

Even tho me and dos-kun haven't exchanged many words, I felt myself miss him already, even tho I had just seen him a few minutes ago...alive and well. How did It get to this point? Why? The questions running wild through my head as I knelt down by the helicopter, wich was now Fyodors grave. I couldn't help but feel something wet on my face, it couldn't be. All the hard work on trying to cover up my emotions being uncovered by such a simple act of attachment. I felt myself cry, trying to wipe these emotions and useless tears from my face as they continued to flow. The only question echoing through my head was "..why?".

I felt myself smile miserably as I remembered on how much I tried and wanted to kill Fyodor before. I wanted him to die didn't I? So why am I, a grown man crying over a Russians death..? I, the one who was always cheering everyone up was now the one who needed to be cheered up. I was everyone's clown, but who is my clown?

And there it was, yet again their annoying bickering, the sounds of dazais and chuuyas voice in the background made me sick to the bone. Why did they get a happy end while I couldn't? Dazai was supposed to die all along, from the start on Fyodor was supposed to die, but in the back of my head I knew that Dazai would loose. How could I make such a stupid mistake? Even if I did want Fyodor to die, I had never expected him to die in such a cruel and disgusting way.

Ever so suddenly, the bickering had stopped and silence filled the night again. I heard some slight whispers wich had turned into panicked yelling after a short while. I heard something among the lines of "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!" from the short ginger. Curiosity overtook me as I turned back wich my tear stained face. And there I saw it, the box with the antidote inside, the antidote having a hole inside as the liquid in it leaked out. The small bottle was enough to cure the poison for exactly one person, and the needle beside it to transfer it into your blood. I felt myself...smile. The man I had just started to hate is about to die. The man who had killed 2 of my only friend's I ever had.

I mean it was partly fyodors fault on Stabbing sigma but Dazai was the one who manipulated him all along and made him turn against Fyodor. Of course Sigma was just a pawn of his, but Fyodor didn't plan on killing him before. I felt slightly proud as I stared at him and the box, getting a cold state back, and a nervous glance from chuuya. They exchanged some words I didn't hear before Dazai walked over to me.

"Hey, you don't uh, have another antidote on you. Do you?"
He asked as he looked me directly in my two mismatched eyes. What was wrong with this bastard anyway? First killing Fyodor in such brutal way and now asking for an antidote??
"Why would you need it anyway, aren't you suicidal?" I coldly replied. I knew some things about him since Fyodor would sometimes complain about him to me or to Sigma.
"Oh Iam, I just have to save the agency before dying.."
He replied as he kept staring at me. Seriously what doesn't he understand about the fact that I literally don't have any more antidotes???
"I apologise but there was only one."
I replied as I turned back to the now, Fyodors grave. He left a short while after staring. Seemingly chatting with chuuya before walking back inside the prison. I didn't know what they wanted there, nor did I care about that. I had bigger cares now. How could I get back and what will I do with myself, now that I have lost 2 of my friends..?

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》Authors note

Hello, I apologise for the slight angst in the first two chapters. Also, yes I don't really like dazai and please do not attack me or anything for this since it is my opinion. I will not hate on him extremely in this story, just some slight judging from Nikolais and other people's perspective as not everyone in bungou stray dogs likes him.

Have a nice day ☆

Words: 989