Charmed. Cole and Phoebe Guardian Series.How quaint the ways of paradox?

Charmed. How quaint the ways of Paradox Chapter 1

Part 1: Time and Time Again

Chapter 1

"How quaint the ways of paradox; At common sense she gaily mocks" (Gilbert and Sullivan. Pirates of Penzance)

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 8

...

Phoebe Halliwell woke up slowly regretting the necessity of waking up. Her mouth tasted like shit, her stomach turned, nauseated. Waking up wishing she had never been born. Again.

"Ohh" she thought "Hangover, to much booze. Again. " She remembered. It was the day after her birthday; the day after she was 29, Ickk she was 29, and when she woke up this time next year she would be 30 and when she woke up in ten years time she would be... Forget it she would not wake up in 10 years time. If the demons did not get her the booze would.

She tried to open her eyes and the light hit them and she shut them tightly. And then she became aware that she was not alone in the bed.

"Oops" she thought "Sleazebag at 9 o'clock. "

Whatever had she done last night, she could not remember fucking any sleazebags. She firmly shut her eyes. She could not remember meeting any sleazebags last night. Actually she could not remember anything from last night. Carefully she put her hand out and touched him.

"Oow" she thought "Hairy sleazebag." She moved the hand more, hmm a thigh, really muscled hairy sleazebag. She moved her hand down , to much effort.

"Hmm" she thought "Tall muscular hairy sleazebag."

She moved her hand up. "Hairy chest, sleazebag, "she thought.

She moved her hand down.

"Flat as a wash board stomach sleazebag "she thought. She moved her hand further down.

"Hmmm" she thought "God damned, hairy tall, muscular hung like a horse sleazebag."

She opened her eyes very slowly. Gradually the burning light eased and she glanced around. Her room. Then she sprung up.

"Shit" she thought "Sleazebag in the Manor alert."

Piper had threatened to throw her out if she ever brought another sleazebag into the Manor.

She looked down at the man lying beside her.

"Yowee" she thought "God damned muscular, hairy tall badly in need of a shave, drop dead gorgeous, blue eyed sleazebag at nine o'clock " she thought.

Cole looked at her an amused a wry smile on his face, he removed the hand hovering around his groin, brought it to his mouth and kissed it. "Having your fun baby" he said "Happy Birthday for yesterday."

"Who the hell are you?" Phoebe said falling back on the pillow "Shit you better get out of here?" she said.

Cole gulped and said "Phoebe! "