Echoes of Deception~(Hyunho)

Wish he'd look at me the way he looks at him

[Hyunjin's pov]

How long has it been? More than 3 years since I fell for him. Yet he always still looks at Jisung the way I wish he looks at me. What was wrong with me? Why did our friendship suddenly fall apart? We used to be so close before. Ok yeah we might feed our fans with our bickering on purpose sometimes but even off-cam we still aren't as close as we used to be. I get it that Jisung is his bestfriend and that's why they're so close,after all there's no difference between them and me and Felix. Worse our managers decided to make minsung a fanservice because of how much our dear STAY love the ship. I love STAY I really do but sometimes I wish they wouldn't have shipped minsung. It's a selfish thought yes but jealousy tends to turn your thoughts selfless sometimes. I can't even think like that because Jisung is my friend and I promised myself I won't be childish and fight with him again. But it's hard,especially in this kind of moments.

[A/N pov]

They've just finished practice and everyone was taking a break. Hyunjin was watching Minho from the distance as he plopped on the couch. He then saw Jisung approaching Minho and like they always do,Jisung cuddles up to Minho and they start talking about random stuff. Into others eyes it looked like a normal bond between bestfriends (yes bestfriends cuddle,I do it with my bestfriends at least) but to hyunjin it looked as if Jisung was stealing Minho from him,although he knew very well Minho wasn't his to begin with. Hyunjin wished he was in Jisung's place. Yes there were times when Minho was close with Hyunjin too,talking nonsense and having a late night snack but to him it wasn't enough. He didn't feel like he was as special as Jisung was. You can't blame him though,every member and STAY know even though Minho looks tough and cold,he really loves to take care of them all and therefore Hyunjin felt as if Minho was always just being the nice and soft member he is to everyone and nothing more. But Hyunjin had the others,whenever he saw Minsung together he just went to annoy the maknae or cuddle the remaining 00' liners or letting Changbin and Chan cling to him. And that's what he did.As soon as Felix came back from the restroom he immediately glued himself to him finding comfort in the freckled boy warmth. Not long after Hyunjin cuddled to Felix,Minho spoke in a tierd tone.

"Can we go home now?" Minho asked
"Ah yes,is everyone ready?" Chan asked his fellow members.
Everyone nodded or let out a tierd 'yes'.

[Hyunjin's pov]

[Perfect,just when I was getting comfortable.]

I groaned slightly tired as I stretched up before I got my bag as everyone else did.As we were walking out I felt an arm around my shoulders.

"Tierd?"Felix asked me.
"Not really,more likely exhausted." I said.
"How about you come at our dorm and we can watch 'sky castle'?" Felix said with a smile immediately making my low mood fly away.
(Just so you guys know,I have no idea what kdrama hyunjin was watching in the timeline of this story so I basically just chose one of his favorite dramas for the story)
"Of course!" I said with excitement.

I bid my goodbyes from 3Racha after telling them that I'll come later to the dorm.Our dorms were a walking distance so it didn't take long before we got there.

Me and Felix were settled in the living room watching the 4th episode or maybe 5th of the drama sprawled on the couch while eating some of Felix's brownies when suddenly Minho came in.

"Sorry guys I don't want to ruin the fun but it's getting pretty late and hyunjin needs to go back" He said in a serious tone.
"Hyung it's barely 8pm,hyunjin doesn't even sleep until the morning and we don't have schedule for tomorrow" Felix said sparing us some more time for the drama.
"First of all,we might not have schedule tomorrow but we still need to practice and second of all Hyunjin is an idol.Do you think is convenient for him to walk home so late." Minho said in a dominant tone which made me and yongbok sigh in defeat.
"Ok fine but I'll go walk him there." Felix said as he was standing up.
"You'll do no such thing,you'll just come back alone crying" Minho said knowing how scared Felix can get alone at such time.

After we bid our goodbyes me and Minho made our way to the other dorm.It was like always,just us walking comfortably while talking nonsense.For a moment I thought he might've take out some of his precious time to spend time with me.As he is my hyung you would think that's the least he could do but little gestures like this can melt someone's heart,especially someone like me(dw hyunjin I totally get you🥹🤧).But my happiness stopped when we arrived and we were greeted by none other than Han Jisung.I saw again that face,that face Minho always made when he saw him.That expression he made for him that I wish he had while looking at me.And not to mention that smile.Oh gosh I love that smile yet I hate it so much too if you know what I mean.As they were talking I stormed to my room not even greeting Jisung back or thanking Minho for walking me home.I know that was really uncalled for but I tend to let my emotions take control of my actions.

As I was about to change my clothes I looked myself in the mirror and was disgusted at the sight.When did I gain again?Is this why hyung likes him more?Han never gains weight yet he he eats so well.And even when he does gain he still doesn't look like it,only he's cheecks get puffy which I can't deny that it makes him on top of that even cuter.Before I even realize tears were streaming down my face making me look even uglier.
(To make it clear I don't think of hyunjin like this,the insecurities and all that are just for the story although what I said about Han is completely right😌👍)

How pathetic can I be?I'm silently crying my heart out for 15 minutes now because of something so minor.I hear the front door open and close which can only mean Minho finally left,I waited few more minutes just incase Jisung might've not went to his room and would see my fucked up face.After I hear no more footsteps,I exit my room and make my way to the bathroom.After I take a shower and make my night routine I make my way to my room and start playing some music while painting to take my mind of negative thoughts.Even though it didn't always work at least I tried.

Will my suffering ever end?I hope so but I don't think it will.

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First of all OMFG THE ROCKSTAR ALBUM IS SOOOO GOOD.
Second of all WTF I expected this to be better,there's something missing.I know this is my first ever written story but wth.This is ummmm.....how do I put it into words.It's really plain,like idk it has no taste yk what I mean.

I really hope the next chapter will be better🥹🥲🙃