After losing her job and her girlfriend, it's time for Annie Abraham to admit defeat and move back in with her parents. She has hardly been back to her tiny Montana hometown since the unforgettable summer before her senior year of college, when she...
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"My god, Laurel, what has gotten into you?" Ruth expostulates as I grab another stack of books for shelving. "You've barely stopped all day. Take a break, will you?"
I can't. I'm too full of nervous energy and I have been for the past two days, my heart fluttering even with an extra dose of propranolol – I may not be able to medicate my autism but I can medicate some of its side effects, the anxiety the worst. The last thing I was expecting was to bump into Annie at the TJ Maxx forty minutes from home, and I wasn't expecting her to look so incredible, and I certainly didn't expect to set up a date.
It's not a date. It's coffee. A catch-up. A couple of people who knew each other in another life. Maybe she really does just want to be my babysitter again. God knows I could use the help. I'm pretty sure my mom's one emergency call away from moving back to Bigfork.
When I return to the register, Ruth locks her hand around my wrist, forcing me to stop, and I take a deep breath. I'm not sure I've been breathing properly since Sunday. My lungs are all out of whack, my back tight. I know it's just anxiety. I know it'll pass the moment it gets to two o'clock and I sit down opposite Annie Abraham. But until then, I need to keep moving.
Except Ruth stops me.
"Come on, Laurel. Something's clearly going on."
After a rush of customers between eleven and one, there's no-one in the store right now except Ruth and Bobby and me, and Bobby is sorting out the stock in the back. I take another deep breath and it all comes out. The whole story, every non-sordid detail. The truth of who Annie really is, why I can't sit still. Ruth listens with wide eyes that widen further with every second that passes.
I make her a cup of tea. She seems pretty shocked.
"So..." She trails off, thanking me with a smile when I put the cup down in front of her. "You're ... bisexual?"
"Yes."
"And you and Barbie had a fling in 2015?"
"Her name is Annie."
"Weren't you still married then?"
"We were separated," I say. "Christian had moved out, we were in the process of getting divorced."
"And you fell in love with the babysitter." Ruth whistles to herself. "Hoo boy, that's not what I was expecting you to say."
"Ruth! You have made so many insinuations. What else could you have expected me to say?"
She answers with her eyes, her mouth full of tea. "I figured you had a crush!" she says. "The way you were asking about her, I thought maybe you wanted to shoot your shot. I didn't think you already had. I just don't understand why you'd want to revisit something that didn't work out."
"The only reason it didn't work out is because she moved away. But now she's here."
