Never Mind, Just Never Leave!

Never Mind, Just Never Leave (Short Story)

Do you believe that every human being has at least one thing that they keep secret until the end? I belong to the group that thinks so. Actually, it is more than only believing; I am also implementing that perspective, the thing that I persist in keeping from anyone except you who are currently reading my story. Here, I begin to explain how complex my status as a married woman is. This status has granted me several titles, such as a career woman, (hopefully) respectful wife, and marital rape survivor.

Let's begin with who I am and how I'm doing right now. I have started a career in risk management since I was a fresh graduate. Some people would say that I am already living a blessed life. Having a regular income, getting married to the person I love, working for an encouraging team, and so on. Thanks to my overthinking trait, these blessings seem to disappear when I face such an expected problem with the only person I love.

It was about 5 weeks ago when I came home late and argued with that man. He accused me of cheating with my new young male colleague while showing a picture of me being embraced by him. I thought that this was just a minor misunderstanding between us, which could be quickly solved as I explained to him the truth. That was totally nonsense to get attracted to that workmate, but sometimes there are people who love to have physical interactions, right? Unfortunately, this circumstance was not wished for by that man.

Regardless of how much I tried to tell him the truth, he kept making his own assumptions. Since he felt that he was betrayed, he asked me to admit my mistake and apologize. However, my insensitive and confident traits didn't allow me to follow his request. That was why I kept shaking my head. Do you know? I even laughed in front of him instead because of his stubbornness!

It took quite a while to realize that I made the wrong decision not to be aware of his disappointment. He pulled my body toward him.

"Alright, I will show you how to repent."

"What do you mean?"

Unexpectedly, he made me do anything I had never wished for that night.

My loud moan nightlong didn't halt him from forcing me to admit my fault.

"Stop, please; I beg you. I can't hold this anymore."I told him this multiple times, but he kept ignoring me as if I were not his partner, but his toy.

"Just say what you have done wrong; it is not hard, isn't it?" He replied.

"Otherwise, I will continue this." He added.

With my tied hands, I was hardly able to stop him. Regardless of how depressed I wanted it to end, he just repeated that the only way was through a confession. I could not bear this madness anymore, and I told him that it hurt when he kissed my neck. Then, surprisingly, he stopped and went to the bathroom.

I started to shed tears. It was unbelievable to lose trust in someone I love. Moreover, he also became the one who hurt me emotionally. As soon as I heard the bathroom door open, I wiped out my tears quickly and pretended to be asleep. He untied me and put a pain reliever balm on my wrists.

"Please wake up," he said softly.

I slowly opened my puffy eyes and directly took a birth control pill and a glass of water he provided. This is our commitment as a childfree couple.

I stood and walked a bit to the bathroom. I was so tired that I almost fell. He ran fast to me and touched my shoulder.

"Do you need help?"

"It is fine," I replied.

[1 Day Later]

After that day, I started to have a gap with him. I chose to sleep in the other tiny room. Our conversations were always the same from day to day; I told him that I had already prepared the meal, while he told me to sleep in our room. After our last fight, I was afraid that he did not believe me anymore. My worries just became worse, and I started to hurt myself, but in some covered areas such as the stomach, arms, near the armpits, and also near the joints. Meanwhile, I also realized that that man consumed alcohol more frequently, as I could smell it almost every morning when I went to the bedroom.