Where's My Angel? (Destiel hs au)

Lonely boy, lonely world, lonely thoughts

-Present Day- 

Life was tough, and Castiel knew this. He knew that no matter what he did to at least try and be happy, it would always end up in blood shed. He wanted to feel something. He was so... emotionless. So tired of the cruel world. He just wanted to feel like he was a normal boy living a normal life, living with his mother and father, and his over-joyed brother. But Castiel was far from normal. Every day was a battle.

He wanted to get rid of the numbers in his head, the numbers that slowly counted down each minute, and each second. Castiel could hear the numbers counting down. The boom in his head as each hour went by. It was a constant canon. He sat, his arms resting on the desk in front of him, his paper empty as he stared out the window. He felt trapped in this classroom, surrounded by idiots. He heard the chatter of students as they didn't do their work, and he just continued to stare. 

Each word someone said getting fainter, and soon, Cas felt like he couldn't hear anything. Then the bell rang. He jumped slightly and looked down at his empty paper. He would have to finish it for homework. Looking around the room, he saw all the students start leaving the classroom, and his eyes locked on one particular person.

Dean Winchester.

How badly he wanted to be noticed by him. To make himself stand out for Dean, over all the other kids. He wanted Dean to know he existed. But he was Castiel, and he knew damn well that wouldn't happen. He wasn't that lucky. He got up from his chair, grabbing his things as he made his way to the door, the last one out of the classroom. Everywhere he seemed to look, there were kids running and walking and yelling, everyone around him charging to get to the lunch line before anyone else. 

But even though there were so many people around him, Cas felt like he was alone. He felt like he was screaming at the top of his lungs, but no one heard him. Like he was gasping for air in an ocean, his dark thoughts chained to his ankle as he tried to swim his way to the surface, but with something so heavy, it was impossible. He would just keep sinking deeper. 

With a long sigh, Cas walked to the lunch room, where he sat at his usual table alone. But Charlie occasionally joined him in his travels. He liked Charlie. She was funny, pretty, and never judged Castiel for the way he was. He was even happy from time to time with her. She let him talk about what was hurting most, and for Cas... It was relief. Those dark thoughts that were pulling at him seemed to disappear, and even if it was only for a second, it felt good.

"Hey, Cas!" Charlie screamed as she ran up to him walking to his table, making him jump. "Hello, Charlie." He spoke softly, sitting down as Charlie sat down across from him. "What's up?" She asked. "The ceiling." She laughed at that. Castiel honestly didn't see what was so funny about it. It was only the truth... 

While Charlie laughed, he turned his head slightly, looking at the other table full of jocks and cheerleaders. Everyone that was on the football team sat there with their girlfriends. Including Dean Winchester, who was sitting with his own girlfriend, Lisa Braeden. He wasn't really just looking at everyone at the table in general, he was looking at Dean. His perfect hair that stuck up in the front, his beautiful green eyes that reminded him of a forest, his stunning freckles that were like stars in the sky... Everything about Dean was so perfect, and it made Castiel so angry. 

Charlie seemed to notice he wasn't looking at her anymore, so she turned her head to where Cas was looking and saw the table of jocks. Specifically Dean. She looked back to him and sighed, seeing he was still looking over there. "Cas, you gotta stop obsessing over that boy. He's only gonna hurt you." Castiel ignored her, continuing to stare. 

She waved her hand in front of his face, and Cas looked at her now. "What?" 

"Cas! You're obsessed with him! He's only going to hurt you. I know him, trust me." Cas frowned. But it was the truth. Why would Dean Winchester want anything to do with nerdy Novak? He knew it was the truth, but he couldn't face it. Cas looked down. He wasn't hungry. He never really was. He didn't eat lunch or breakfast, and normally just settled for a snack before bed time. Gabriel insisted it was unhealthy, but Cas could care less about his health.