Final Christmas || Scaraven Modern AU

2

scara's pov

The moment I'm back in my office I let myself fall onto my bed and lie there for a while. No thoughts. Just time alone.

After only an hour and a quarter a guard comes knocking on my door.
'Balladeer. Boss wants to see you.'
He promptly leaves. Balladeer is my Fatui title, given to me by the boss when they took me in. It's also kind of an alias to hide my identity if I encounter anyone during missions.

His office is at the end of a hallway extending from the dining area. The door is intimidatingly large, and has a gold plate on the front bearing the letters 'PIERRO'.
That's suspected to be the bosses name, but nobody ever calls him that. All of us call him sir or boss, else you're good as fired. Perhaps even dead, that man's scary sometimes.

I turn the shiny doorknob and open the door. He's sitting at his desk with a large window behind him. It's only afternoon and it already looks quite dark out. The look on his face is unemotional but stern.
"Sit."
I take the seat in front of his desk.

"You left a witness today. You've never made this mistake before, Balladeer. Do you know the consequences?"
"I do, sir. I apologise for my mistake. It will not happen again."
"A woman came to the authorities stating that she found your most recent target shot dead, and that a boy was seen walking away from her home."
"That doesn't prove it was-"
"Do not talk back to me."
..there's a long pause.
"Make this mistake again and you will lose your place here. You're one of our top recruits, Balladeer. Don't disappoint me." he says firmly, but not angrily.
"The Doctor wants to see you.. for another health checkup."

I nod politely, turn to the door and exit.

-

The Doctor sits me on a bench. He checks my heart rate. He checks my breathing. He checks my sight, my hearing. He checks my mouth, shoving in that weird tasting wooden stick to keep my tongue down again. It tastes gross because it's always covered in mouthwash or sanitiser or something like that to keep it clean, or so the Doctor claims.
It tastes less terrible than the other times. Perhaps he's showing mercy on me for once. Perhaps I wont.. get so..

I feel drowsy. I try desperately to keep my eyes opened but they flutter closed against my will.
But I'm not completely unconscious.

I feel like I'm moving but I can't tell very well what's going on. Then it stops. Then there's a humming noise. It's moving closer to me, further away from me, back and forth. There's beeping. Then there's a loud buzzing.

Something is drilling into me. Something is tearing away at the skin on my torso just below my ribs. It's agonising. I can't move, I can't talk, I can't feel myself breathing. The pain won't stop.
It drills deeper. Past fat, muscle and bone. I'm being cut open, torn apart, I'm losing so much blood that I feel as if I'll pass out any second but the pain is too unbearable to let me rest.
There is a hole cut into me, I can feel it. My insides are being removed. Something is being cut away and replaced. It hurts so much.
Cold metal makes contact with my bare insides. I'm being tortured, I feel as if I'm burning alive.
As if the world has finally shown me mercy, I lose consciousness.

-

The buzzing is louder once more.
Every checkup it gets louder.

I've woken up in a cold sweat. I think I just had the worst nightmare I've ever had.
But it felt so real. You aren't supposed to feel pain in your dreams right?
It's so fuzzy though, and I couldn't open my eyes, I don't know what happened.

Usually after the checkups I'll be completely fine, completely painless.
This time there's a pain in my ribs, as if knives are being jabbed into me at every movement.
I need to talk to the boss about this. Whoever this Doctor is, something's up with him and theres no way he's qualified or sane enough for this job.

If this truly was just a nightmare I'm going to be so embarrassed.

It's not like I've never dealt with minor injury before, so I slowly make my way to his office.
We aren't allowed to go in uninvited or unprepared but I can't find it in me to care at the moment. This could be much more serious than I think.

Once again I twist the door handle and the door opens with a quiet creak.

"Balladeer, you know you aren't allowed in here. Don't disturb me."
I don't care. I don't give a shit right now. I need the truth.
"My deepest apologies, boss, but I have urgent matters to be discussed."
His head tilts upwards and his eyes meet mine.
"Boss, what is the Doctor doing to me."
Risky tone I used there, but I'm sick of being lied to. I know something is wrong.

"I knew you'd come wondering at some point."

"The Doctor.. he likes to work with machines, you know that.
His latest little interest has been designing robotic organs."

Oh.
I can't hold back my anger any longer.
"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PERMITTING THIS?"
I'm going to get fired. I'm going to lose my job and my home but I don't care. I don't care anymore. I can't afford to care right now.

"Four years.
He's replaced your heart, your lungs, a few of the bones in your arms and legs, your stomach, your liver, and most recently, both your kidneys with robotic replicas.
The reason I allowed this is because it keeps you fit without tiredness. Consistently strong without worry of disease. It's what makes you one of our best units, Balladeer."

My heartbeat has quickened. I'm gasping for air as if I'm about to take my last breath. My knees become shaky and I can't hold myself up anymore. I fall to my knees. I want to rip apart my body. I want to run away. I'm barely a human. This body is barely my own. What else have they done to me? Placed trackers under my skin? Is that where all the scars on my body are from? Did they rewire my brain? Are they analysing my every thought? It's too much. Everything around me feels like it's collapsing in on me.
I lose consciousness.

-

When I wake, I'm lying on a concrete footpath. Alone. Soaked.
It's pouring down. I can barely open my eyes to a squint, drops of water blocking my vision.
I manage to find some form of shelter under a tree.

It's been at least an hour. I can barely keep my eyes open and my head hurts so much.
Then I see it. A bus. There's something to get me out of here. I don't have a bus card, and I don't care where it takes me. I need to get away.
I chase down the bus from the footpath until it reaches it's stop where I board it.
Is that why I'm so fast? Is my speed completely artificial?
No. No time to think about it. My shaky cold leg steps onto the bus. I walk to a seat near the very back.
The man driving it looks rather peculiar, his brown hair in a ponytail behind him fading into a shade of gold. He looks my direction. He doesn't seem bothered by the fact I don't have a card.
So what if I'm travelling illegally, not like I haven't taken a few hundred lives anyway. If anything I'd go to jail for that, not some missing bus card.

There's only a few other people here. A short white haired woman, who I'm certain I've seen before.
A boy seemingly my age with curly, dark green hair behind me, looking oddly cheerful despite the weather.
A red haired girl who looks like she's going home from a performance of some sort.
A blonde man near the front stressing over an article he's reading. Including me there are only five people here today.
Not a bad thing at all. Less people to report me back to the Fatui. Unless it was them who kicked me out..? Probably.

I sit here for four hours. Theres so much to think about but I'm so sleepy that not a thought crosses my mind. I don't think I've ever felt this fatigued.
Passengers get on and off, slowly decreasing in number until it's only me and the white haired woman.
She leaves at the next stop. I use this to decide it's probably been long enough, so I make my way to the nearest door and step off as well. The woman turns to look at me. I can't read her expression. Worried? Happy? Fearful? Who knows.
The moment my feet hit the cold concrete, I lose balance. My head hits the ground. I pass out.

A/N
hi :3 hope uou enjoyed thissss
its still gonna be another chapter until we get venti interaction so i hope the little implication of him will suffice for the moment.. if it's not obvious the white haired woman is nahida, sure you guys can guess whats gonna happen there
mb about the gore and the uhh constant passing out and the panic attack and what not but this isnt NEARLY as bad as its gonna get tho heheeeeee u guys r in for a rollercoaster.. (when i get to that part LMAO I have the whole thing planned out)