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Online 9: Park

LEI

Jungwon hyung locked himself in his room. Though he's quiet, I doubt he isn't crying. Maybe he is crying silently, not wanting us to know how vulnerable he is right now. Mom asked me what my brother's up to but I lie to her, telling her that exams is coming. Though it's true that it is almost time for exam.

I gently knock on his door and open it when he told me to enter. There he is, sitting facing his books and noted. Distracting himself with lectures he already knew to forget Y/N.

"Can you come with me? I need to buy something for my activity?" He is wearing glasses to cover his eyes are that are slightly swollen but glasses aren't enough to hide them.

"Alright. Be there in a minute. You can wait for me downstairs." He still didn't remove his glasses, thinking it's the best way to hide his eyes.

I want him to be himself again. It's my fault that he's in this state. If only I didn't say that he should confess. I really thought there's a spark between them but maybe that's just my imagination.

—

We went to the bookstore to look for the things I need for my activity. I found two or three cute things that I need but I don't have the luxury to buy these three so I need to choose.

"Jungwon hyung, which do you thing fits perfect for candy theme in these three?" I ask. When I got no response I turn to look at him. He's occupied looking at something to the point he doesn't hear me. My eyes follow the direction of his head.

There... I saw Jay and Y/N outside the bookstore, laughing at something they're looking at. I didn't mean to let him see this.

"Jungwon hyung." I called for him again. This time he heard me.

"Hmm?" He said, forcing a smile.

"Which one is better for the candy theme mini Christmas tree?" I ask again. He pointed the one he likes so I went to the counter to pay so we can go home quickly.

"If you need anything, I'm at my room. Don't worry, I'm fine." Maybe he saw my worried expression so he gave an assurance. You can't really see a guy like my brother. Is it really true she doesn't feel anything about him?

"Yeah. I'll call if I need anything." I force a smile and so is he. He then started to walk away while I stare at his back until he closes his room door.

—
Y/N

Jay then ask me if we can go somewhere. Of course, I am enjoying this but I know deep down that something is not right.

It's been two weeks since I saw Jungwon hyung. Jay invited me for dinner somewhere. I refused at first with an excuse I am busy with activities but he insisted. Who am I to refuse? I mean, this Jay we're talking about.

"I'll use the bathroom for a while." He smile and nod.

Going back to our table, I saw a familiar figure. I know that figure too well.

"Jungwon... Hyung." He seems surprised to see me but then composed himself too quick. I noticed he's standing near the women's bathroom, like he's waiting for someone. "Waiting for someone?" I don't want to hear his answer but at the same time, I don't want to.

"Yeah." I just smile and stared at the door, wondering what she looks like. It's like he wants to say something but decided to keep his mouth shut. Awkward. Don't know why I am standing here with him despite knowing I rejected him. "She's here. It's nice to see you... Again. I'll be on our way." It's not Lei.

I went back to our seat and enjoy Jay's company.

*

Beep

I grab my phone to see if to see if the message is of any importance and it is.

Jungwon: Can I spare some of your time? It'll be quick I promise. Will you at our favorite place at the park.

I quickly get up and change my clothes. Someone knock at my door. He didn't wait for my response and open the door.

"A piece of advice, sort out your things already before it's too late. I know you already have the answer but still confused." My brother told me. Do I have the answer?

*

I slowed down when I saw his back. There he is, sitting at our favorite spot and patiently waiting for me.

"Hey." I greeted.

"Hey." He stood up like a gentleman to greet his woman.

"Did I made you wait long?" He shake his head and invited me to sit beside him.

A long moment of silence before he broke the ice. What he said next was unexpected.

"I, uhm, I'll be leaving tomorrow. I am planning studying abroad for my college. The girl you saw last time, a distant cousin, helped me do my papers. I got accepted to my dream university so I will take my shot." I look at him with my tears starting to stream down my face.

"You'll be leaving tomorrow and you're telling me just now?"

"Sorry. I don't know how to talk to you. I am planning not to tell you at all but I think you still have the right to know." He lifted his head but still didn't looked at me. He's just staring to those passing us by. "I also don't know if you need to know what my plan is so... yeah. Sorry." I heard a small laugh, an awkward laugh then all you can hear is my sobs.

"Will we still meet?" I am still looking at him so I know his expressions. He laugh again then looked up to stop his tears.

"Of course but that'll be like years from now. When I moved on from you, I will let you see at least my shadow." He said jokingly but I know that it is true.

"I'm sorry I didn't messaged you these past weeks."

"That's the best course of action actually. It'll be harder for me to meet you like this if you did. Anyway, here." He handed me my favorite bar of chocolate before standing up. "When we see each other again, let's nod our head and smile with our partners beside us. So, one last hug?" I quickly accepted his offer and hug him really tight.

"I'll miss you so much, Jungwon hyung." I heard him chuckle.

"I need to go. I need to fix my things." He said.

"Sure. You can go ahead. I'll, I'll try to process some things. Be careful on your way." He went ahead without looking back. I saw him wipe his eyes one last time so I decided to look away from him.

I am trying my best to cry quietly but it's just so painful. I let other people see and hear my cry. It hurts so much.

—

Please, excuse my wrong grammars, wrong spelling and missing words.

-YuKookieJu!