Ephemeral Valour

Aftermath

This isn't where the story starts. I can't tell you the grief I felt. The guilt, maybe, but grief is a monster separate from what's out there. Grief isn't like what killed them. The thing that killed them was something I could see. I didn't want to look at it, but it was tangible and there. Grief isn't always tangible. It's like a pathogen. And that pathogen doesn't always exist. It exists when people like me think it does, but now that I've made it exist, I can't unmake it. Nothing can unmake it. I can distract myself from it, I can do my job and not think about it. Closure can kill it, I can bury it, but it's still there. It will always be there now, and it's a damn poor reimbursement for what I lost.

I took a breath to compose myself, my superiors had already obliged my request for the room to be dimmed. Usually the interrogation chamber had a floodlight shined across one side of the black room constricting your eyes. Now, however, it was dark, like the extraction shuttle. The extraction shuttle that saved me, and only saved me. I bit my lip. The physical pain was pleasurable compared to the emotional. My skin crawled as a chill went down my spine, and I pushed myself to speak. "I am Samantha Turner." I stopped. My own name felt cold as the grave on my tongue. "Yes, you are," They told me after a few seconds, "Please, what happened." "There was the Seer-" "So that's what this is all about," They interrupt quickly, "you were fighting the Aphelion, they used the Seer to give you a vision?" I instinctively snapped my teeth together. I nearly bit through my tongue, and I felt almost giddy. "That monster was real damn you!" I shouted half intentionally, spraying blood on the table and floor. "I believe you think that." "You think I'm lying?" I said hysterically "Not intentionally," They offered calmly, "I've seen the kind of stuff they do first-hand, it put me out of commission too, there's nothing wrong with it, we just need to get you past it." "No! It is real. It killed them all. It's not what we wer-" "You were fighting a Seer, that is what killed your team, nothing more." I could hear their voice beginning to rise. I sighed. "Okay, fine, we'll see if your idea is right." I growled at them. I decided the conversation would go nowhere, and I would rather be anywhere. "Try to get some sleep Samantha, we can talk in the morning." "YOU WON'T BE RIGHT!" I shouted, as they left me alone in the room. After waiting for a minute to compose myself, I stood up and left the room.

The Aphelion are a species of partially subterranean creatures. The species is mostly blue, which I've heard is because their homeworld contains major deposits of kyanite. We learned a lot about them before the peace treaty was called off. As a species they treated religion as important as food or drink. From what I had heard there had never been an embassy established on their planet. Some of their species became a sect and continued to help us secretly after the war broke out, that's only been declassified recently. Aside from that, the rule was that Aphelion cared very little for other species. We broke the peace treaty when we were refused help in the aftermath of a terrorist attack from them. An unknown group removed an entire city from a super earth map with a weapon we didn't know the Aphelion even possessed. They could have warned us about that, but they were keeping it hidden from us. After that, people like me have been on the frontlines fighting for our home. We dive into the heart of death itself so humanity can survive. It goes pretty well. Until you lose your whole team in eight seconds. I kept my eyes down in the hallway since I didn't want to talk to anyone. The hall was mainly painted black, but a few designs were golden yellow. There were light strips of various colours that led to different areas of the cruiser. The biggest ones were orange and purple, which went to bunks and the galaxy map respectively. I hadn't used the lines for years, but they were still an excuse to stare at the floor. I went straight back to my cabin.

The cabin only consisted of a couple bunk beds, and it was empty besides me. Usually I would see Felix always lying in his bed. He would always be coding or working on a drone. I'm surprised to this day that he was never labeled a traitor. People usually didn't take kindly to drones unless they were piloted, and his certainly weren't. I took off my jacket and threw it on an empty bed before laying on mine. Every time I would close my eyes I would see one of them looking back at me. Mostly I remember seeing Olivia. I was closest to her. We met each other in training. I remember it fondly because of that. It was her third week, and it was my second day. She told me what was coming up every day. She's the only reason I have the privilege to stand where I do now. She'd saved me more than once in the field as well. I couldn't even save her once. I woke up early in the morning. I put on something basic, and I went to the cafeteria. It was busy. Most people on the ship, unless they ate an earlier breakfast, were here right now. The room itself was the third largest room in the ship, behind the armoury and main room. It was decorated similarly. All the rooms were decorated similarly. After sitting down I grew sick to my stomach. I was alone at the table, but whenever I put my head down I swore I could hear them. I knew I imagined it every time, but I heard them laughing and joking and fooling around. I barely ate anything. Instead, I took a handful of stuff I could eat later. I made my way for the main room.