Here Today; Gone Tomorrow

Hello, my name is Elizabeth James and this is my story. The story of I I ended up here, in this crazy house, otherwise known as the mental hospital.

Two years ago is when it all started. I moved here, in Los Angeles, CA from Queens New York. I've always been the shy kid. The one that's in the back of the room that never says a thing. The one that has many secrets but never tells a soul. You never know who you can trust anyways. They made this facility for "crazy" people like me, but truth be told... the whole world is a mental wreck, but your eyes just don't see past the pretty faces.

In school, we all know how it is. The school is divided by their groups. There are the populars, the bands, the gymnasts, the geeks, the nerds and then there is just me. Nobody ever understood me or even tried to. Maybe they did, but I never tried to know anyone. You may think you know someone, but you really don't untill they do something they say they "regret".

I like to wear the color black alot. It defines me, really. It's simple, nothing much to say about itself. I have black hair that's swept to the side and I am aged 18, but I was 16 at the time.

I lived with a family where grades come first. My mother was a neurosurgeon and my father was a cardiologist. I wasn't the best student so I always felt like a huge let down. My mother and father were always out of sight, too busy for me and my problem. I grew up with a nanny, but no one could handle my shananigans. I always sent my parents clues that I wanted to spend time with them, but I come last, everything else is put above me.

I've experianced things I didn't want to experiance. I've done things I wish I didn't do. I've seen and heard things I wish I could erase from my memory but as much as I beg and plead, it won't erase the past, or fix the future.

FLASHBACK BEGINS: TWO YEARS AGO

I told my parents that I would be at the library to write my essay. I ended up not going because I brought the correct textbooks home from school. I'm in the living room, snuggled up against the large pillow on the sofa. I'm laying there on my laptop, trying to write my essay in peace. I hear the door swing open. Since I am laying on the sofa, I didn't see who was entering my home. Finally, I heard my father and a female. My father kept laughing continusly. I heard a thud, and then silence. I looked up from the sofa, but making sure I don't get seen. My father was kissing a woman in the home he shared with his wife, my mother and the women cleary was not my mother. After the stop kissing, my father motions her upstairs. By the way he was walking, you can tell, he was drunk. My mother had informed us that she was not going to be home for a day because she had business in another city. I couldn't stop crying from the choices my father had made. I went to bathroom and took about ten pills, all that was left in the container. I needed to end my life from this. All the silence in the house, and the women who was not my mother. This just wasn't how I wanted life to go for us. Afterward, I felt dizzy and couldn't see as clear. The woman that was with my father came downstairs wearing my mothers robe and found me laying on the living room floor, unconsious. She called the ambulence and they gave me medication. My father told my mother that he didn't know what happened. He just brought a friend over from work and while they were eating dinner in the dining room, I decided to kill myself and that his "lady friend" heard a thud on the floor when I fell. I couldn't believe the bullshit coming from his mouth.

The next day, I woke up in the same room. I saw my mothers face. "Hey, finally you're awake. How are you feeling?" my mothers sweet voice asked. I recall this being the first time anyone has ever asked me that. She didn't deserve my father. She needed better, and I wasn't going to let her get hurt. "I'm feeling pretty good." After the silence passed, I made up my mind, I needed to tell her. "Mom..." I started giving her all the details as to what had happened that night. She believed every word. Mom and Dad did a lot of bickering that night, and that is why they are divorced now. My mom is the one by my side, but that doesn't mean that she is literally by my side every single second.

FLASHBACK OVER

So that was one way I had tried to kill myself, byt trust me, that was not my only attempt.