The Voyager and the Rogue

Chapter 36

After dinner and saying goodbyes and goodnights to everyone, it was just Mom, Dad, Aihe, and I. Mom offered that we go to the shore and wait for Ocean. One part of me was ecstatic with the idea since this is what we always did after dinner when I was little, but the other part felt that Ocean would communicate my guilt about Eyarr with my family. Even though Ocean never spoke, it had its own way of communicating everything it felt.

I said I'd join them for a bit and then go to bed.

"Meli, what's wrong? You used to be so excited about seeing the Ocean after dinner." Mom commented. I shrugged.

"I don't know, I'm just... I'm not feeling it right now. I'll still stay for a bit, though." I tried forcing a smile, but I knew Mom could see through it. She was silent for a second or two before telling Dad and Aihe just to go check on Grandma and that she'd stay with me.

When Dad and Aihe left, Mom gently offered me to follow her. Initially, I wasn't sure where we were going, but then I recognized the path. It was the path that led up the mountain where the stone tower of past chieftains was. As we marched up the steep inclines, I ran my hand against the plant growth on the sides. The soft greenery under my fingers was comforting and brought back memories of Grandpa Tui and Mom bringing me up here as a child, giving me insight, and teaching me lessons from my chieftain ancestors.

Upon reaching the top, a strong gust of wind blew through my hair, a strand blowing into my face. I sputtered it out and pushed it back behind my ear, quickly following behind Mom as she stopped next to the stone tower. The conch shell mom had placed on the top so many years ago was now covered in moss and vines, keeping it in place.

On the day of my voyage, I placed a conch shell, too, not on top but rather at the base of the stones. It was my way of honoring the new age of voyaging brought in by Mom. And now, with Aihe as chief, she placed a shell next to mine. Upon gazing at the tower again for the first time in years, I could envision the generations following us.

A spiral of shells, just like the spiral on Mom's sail, the rock tower in the center, and the shells extending out like limbs on a tree.

It was a beautiful vision of what could be.

"Laeli," Mom said, grabbing my attention. I joined her side where she stood, overlooking the cliff's edge, providing a perfect view of our village below and the reef and ocean before us.

She turned to face with a look of concern.

"Laeli... I'm still your mother, I know when something is wrong." The way she looked at me, I just knew I couldn't hide it. I may have only been home for like a day, but I knew to Mom, I hadn't changed all that much. With a defeated sigh, I took a seat and rubbed my face.

"I... I don't even know where to begin." She took a seat next to me.

"Thoughts don't have to make sense." She assured.

"I-I... didn't expect to ever be able to come back home. It was just supposed to be a simple plan to talk to the gods about how I ended up so far away from home. Then Maui told me that the gods said I had to make a choice, and then Eyarr got upset because he thought I was choosing between him and my family, but it's... way more complicated than that! And I got mad at him for assuming, and then the wind and ocean started getting aggressive, and then the next thing I knew, I was on the beach, and I didn't want to believe it was real. It was too good to be true, and then I saw you and Dad... And I just knew this was real, but I still don't know how to handle it!" I heaved in some heavy breaths after feeling a mild sense of relief getting that off my chest.

I turned to Mom, and she was taken aback, to say the least.

"You've been holding a lot in, haven't you?" In response, I let out a shaky cry, harshly running my hands through my hair, pulling my shell comb out, and letting my hair fall around my face.