Session -𝑀𝑉𝑥𝐶𝐿- (eng vers)

Anchor

-

Took the breath from my open mouth

never known how it broke me down

I went in circles somewhere else.

And I hear your ship is comin' in

your tears a sea for me to swim

and I hear a storm is comin' in.

My dear, is it all we've ever been?

-

I settle into the front seat of Carlos's car. As a jazz song plays on Spotify, I look out the window at the clear blue sky and white clouds - it's almost like a dream. The weather won't last long though, as rain is forecast for tomorrow and Sunday, so I suppose the team will use this opportunity to test the car's reliability, hopefully better this time than the rest of the season. As the car stops, I take a deep breath.

"Are you all right?" the Spaniard asks with concern. I pause briefly to consider what to say before simply nodding. I get out of the car.

"We'll be late if you don't hurry."

-

I walk into the quiet room with Carlos and take a seat next to Xavi, while he sits next to Ricky. Vasseur nods his head and claps his hands."Let's begin," he says in English."As we discussed yesterday, today we will concentrate on testing the tyres. We want to ensure reliability and improve our pace. The rain will be here and things will be a bit more unsure than usual, but we have to give it a try anyway. We'll also have a look at Red Bull and Mercedes, as well as McLaren, before making a decision. From there we can decide whether..." As the Blue Team's name comes up, I'll stop the proceedings. Is Max going to be okay? I'm dying to see him and look into his blue eyes. But fuck, he's a man, I can't. It's not a big issue for me, but it could be problematic for the media and my job. It could damage my career and even my life. It's hard not to think about it.

"Has everyone understood? Is that all right?" I wake up and nod, even though I haven't heard anything. I get up and step out of the room in complete silence. I walk down the stairs and out of the building. I have to see Max, I have to talk to him. I wanted to find out what his father had said, why he was awake at this time of night, why Christian had come to visit him so early in the morning and whether he had already put on his team sweater. Today's race in Monza is a very important one and I cannot afford to make any mistakes. My head was full of thoughts as I entered the room, locked the door and changed. The fans deserve better than what I'm achieving this season. Nothing at all, I am not able to do anything properly. Before leaving, I decide to use the bathroom. As soon as I got out of the chair, my head started to spin. I put my hand on the table to avoid falling and feel a throbbing pain in my temples. Is it due to lack of sleep? Oh no, if I don't recover soon for the session, everything will fall apart. Actually it's already falling apart. I feel completely powerless. I feel weak and cowardly. My breaths are getting shorter and faster. I close my eyes to try to focus but I have to quickly open them to avoid getting dizzy and falling over. I grab my phone with one hand and search for Carlos in my contacts. Suddenly my vision blurs and I tap the first number my finger finds on the screen. That's fine, the race and the fans are more important than my pride. I sit down on the floor, put the phone on speaker and take a deep breath. Someone finally answers after three rings.

"Leclerc? Hello?" Who's that? I'm not sure. Perhaps Checo.

"Help me" My hands are shaking, my head hurts and I can't concentrate.