The Angel Next Door (Rosé X Female Reader)

35: "Rosie's thoughts"

Word Count: 1,304

“We’re not dating, but to me… she is the most important person on earth.”

Rosé had made that statement publicly, in front of our classmates.

For the rest of the day, I couldn’t think about anything else or pay attention in class. I just didn’t know exactly what she’d meant by “important.” Did she mean that we were good friends, or affectionately close, or maybe—in a romantic sense?

The more I thought about it, the more anxiety and unease I felt, but the faintest hope swirled in my chest. All day, I was overwhelmed by emotions I could not put into words. My friend Jennie smiled at me, but didn’t make any jokes or say anything about it.

I had little hope of figuring out what Rosé was thinking on my own. I spent the whole day irritated, wishing I could just ask her directly what she’d meant. But I never got the chance at uni. When the two of us got back to my apartment, I finally, timidly, asked Rosé.

She looked at me with a puzzled expression. “I wasn’t lying, you know,” she said without hesitation. It sounded like she had no idea why I was asking.

Rosé put on her apron to prepare dinner. She also put on a little smile, perhaps aware of my discomfort. “I’m fairly sociable, but my circle of friends is small. The only people I can definitely say I’m close with are you, Lisa, and Ji-hye. Of course, all of you are important to me, but among the three of you, you’re the one I’m closest with and the one I feel most at ease with when we’re together.”

“Oh, um…” I knew that what Rosé was saying was true, but being told this face-to-face felt very strange for some reason.

“We’ve spent the past half year or so together, and it has been a very meaningful time for me. I’ve never been the type to get close to others, and you’re the most comfortable, most likable person I know,” she said calmly and candidly. I suppressed a groan as I looked into Rosé’s gentle eyes. She gazed back at me.

“For me, the world is a small place,” she continued. “I could count the people I like on one hand, as if I’m living in a miniature garden… In my little world, you are the most precious person to me. You’re the one who told me that I’m okay just the way I am.”

“Rosie…”

“So I want you to be a little more confident in that regard, Y/N.”

Her cheeks reddened, coloring her shy expression, clearly showing that she was stating her true feelings, but Rosé didn’t seem to notice. The sincerity painted on her face caused conflicting emotions to well up inside me—embarrassment and indescribable joy threatened to make my chest burst.

“After all, you already know that I trust you above anyone else. Did you think that there was someone else that I liked?” Rosé said.

“That’s not it, but…when you put it that way, you must have known how I would take it, right?” I replied.

“That’s exactly right,” Rosé answered with an unwavering smile.

I stared at Rosé. “So when you dodged the question that way, you knew it would open us up to insistent prying and suspicions of romance?”

Rosé’s smile broadened. She was oddly nonchalant. “That’s also right.”

“In that case, wouldn’t it have been easier to manage the rumors by letting out a few snippets of information at a slow trickle? If people are going to speculate, I think it would be better to at least have some control over the direction the rumors take,” I suggested.

“…Indeed,” Rosé agreed.

I knew that Rosé had her own ways of thinking about these things, but to me, it had been extraordinarily nerve-racking to hear her talk about me in public, even indirectly. In the end, there had been a big uproar after her statement, but Rosé herself had just calmly put on her angelic smile. The girls and boys in love with Rosé were probably stressing out about it right now.

“Anyway, you should be more careful. If you don’t say anything to me beforehand, I might get the wrong idea, too,” I said.

“Get the wrong idea?” Rosé asked.

“…Usually, if someone said something like that about me, I’d think what everyone else is thinking.”

I figured that Rosé must like me in some way. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be so relaxed around me, or look at me with such trust in her eyes. But I couldn’t figure out the exact nature of her affection. Was it the same kind of sentiment that I felt toward Rosé, or was it something more passionate?

The feelings I held were not something that I could easily put into words. I didn’t feel burning-hot passion, and it wasn’t intense, heartrending yearning, either. It was more like a quiet, gentle candle giving off a steady heat.

Rosé was the first person for whom my heart had felt such affection and desire to treasure. However, those weren’t the kind of feelings that most friends could just openly talk about. Also, I didn’t know if Rosé felt the same way. For this reason, I reminded myself to speak clearly, so as not to be misunderstood.

“I mean, if for example I were to announce that you were someone important to me, with that kind of timing, you’d start getting ideas too, right?” I said.

“But I don’t think you would ever make such a declaration in the first place, Y/N,” Rosé replied.

“Well, that’s true, but—”

“Or are you saying that’s what you’re going to do?”

“I know that if I did, I’d wind up feeling like I decided to sit down on a bed of thorns.”

I knew for sure that people’s thorny gazes would skewer me—no, they’d eviscerate me. I would die by a thousand stares. I waved my hand in front of my face. I had no intention of resigning myself to such a fate without any sort of preparation.

Rosé let a little giggle slip out. “I know you’re not the risk-taking type.”

“…Somehow, I feel like that annoys you.”

“You’re imagining things.”

I was pretty sure I was not imagining the look of exasperation on Rosé’s face, but it seemed she didn’t feel like explaining anything to me. Rosé let out a deep sigh, as if to vent her frustrations, and headed for the kitchen.

“…Um?”

“What is it?”

“If I did make some kind of public declaration, I think it would have a big effect on your life, too… Are you prepared for that?”

“What a silly question. I would never suggest something if I wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences.”

I was at a loss for words because she really said it without a second thought. Rosé didn’t so much as look my way and started setting out her cooking utensils with a flourish of her apron hem.

“I understand that my social standing is different from yours, and that we receive very different kinds of attention. I also understand that you won’t say anything. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“…That’s—”

“It’s a real pain to be popular, you know. People are always watching how you act in public and meddling in your affairs.”

Rosé grumbled to herself, and it was plain to see she was fed up with the attention. Then she turned around to look at me.

“But here, it’s just the two of us; there’s no one to butt in. For now, I’m satisfied with that.”

Rosé smiled coyly, and I couldn’t do anything but stare at her beautiful smile, unable to say anything more.