Dylan

Part 7

Part of me felt responsible for putting myself in that situation, for going with Dylan even after hehad slapped me. Part of me also thought about the friends that had surrounded myself with. Ihad friends who were a bad influence on me. I always told myself that I disagreed with most ofthe things my friends did, and that I, as an individual, would never act the way they did, yet I stillchose to surround myself with them. I pushed away all the good people in my life that caredabout me, like Fai, and did everything that they wouldn't have wanted me to do. I grew up withmy older brother, Fai, my younger sister, Alyssa and my mom and dad. Fai and I are a lot like ourmom. We're compassionate, loving, understanding and patient. We're smart and admirable, butfools when it comes to love. Alyssa, on the other hand, is a lot like my dad. They're impulsive,self-assured, selfish but loyal. My dad and Alyssa are the type of people who make decisionsthat they think are right. They'll make your decisions for you, because they care about you'. I was always closer to my mom and Fai growing up and never saw eye-to-eye with my sister or my dad I was always patient and understanding with them, but eventually, just chose to distance myself from them both. So, my sister and never talked much, same with my dad. Now, part of me also felt bad for myself. I knew didn't deserve this, and knew Fai knew this too.

 Dr Adams and the officers came back into the room now. They had left for a few minutes and could see them outside talking through the blinds "Um Zara I'm sorry that this happened to you. This does connect a lot of the dots for us, but we just have a few follow up questions if that's okay", Dr Adams said. I nodded in response "Okay so, your boyfriend, Dylan what's his full name and date of birth" "Dylan Mallone, May 24th, 1998", said "So Dylan's 18" "yeah" "okay, you said you didn't want to leave the party with him because you were still angry at him. What were you arguing about?". My heart sank a little but knew that the whole truth would come out eventually "a week earlier we were at a friend's house and Dylan got angry at me because he had seen me in the library with a boy from my math class. He called and asked me where I was and told him I was at home. I lied because thought he'd overreact. Noah and were just studying together. He brought this up when we were in the kitchen at my friend's house, and we had a small argument about it and then-". I looked up before finished speaking, and everyone in the room is listening attentively to me "Then, he slapped me across the face. I left our friend's house, and didn't see Dylan till the party" "Was this the first time Dylan had hit you?" "yeah" "did anyone else see this or did you tell anyone about it?" "No, no one saw, and didn't tell anyone either" "why didn't you tell anyone, zara?"was silent then I knew why didn't tell anyone, and it wasn't because was scared, or thought Dylan would break up with me. It was because thought it was normal My dad would hit my mom sometimes, but knew he loved her. In the movie, the perks of being a wallflower, the main character asks his teacher why good people choose the wrong people to date, and his teacher says that we accept the love that we think we deserve. That quote always resonated to me. I thought about it now. Dylan was everything to me, and so when he treated me badly, I thought it's the kind of love that I deserve "I didn't tell anyone because was scared". I was in a confused state of mind, chose the safe response. The doctor asked me a few more questions, then she left with the officers. Fai asked me if I wanted some time alone and I said yes. He left too and I laid down alone in bed thinking I think was in a state of disbelief about what had happened. I just laid there and thought about everything. 

I stayed in the hospital for another week. After the incident, part of my left rib was broken, and the doctors had to operate me and insert a metal stent to keep my rib from collapsing I had to stay in hospital for a few days until my body got used to breathing with the stent. My friend, Hanna came to visit me the next day. I told her everything that happened but she already knew. The day had woken up from my coma and told the doctor and police everything the police went into my school and took Dylan to the police station Hanna told me that Dylan was unusually quiet that morning and before they asked Dylan anything, he confessed to it all. The police arrested him, and they told me that Dylan was tried for assault and attempted murder and found guilty. He received a prison sentence of 5 years without parole. I was shocked when I heard this. It never occurred me to at the time, but I was classed as a minor as compared to Dylan who was already 18. He was accused of 'physically attacking me severely and then leaving me to die" and found guilty under the charge of attempted murder.

I didn't go in for the last week of junior year, and then summer break started. I spent the entire summer at home. I hadn't seen or spoken to any of my friends except Hanna, who would come see me at home often. My face was healing quicker than I had thought, and after two weeks, the bruise was slowly becoming less prevalent. I think I was clinically depressed that entire summer. I would rarely leave my room and my mom would mostly bring food up to me, but I would barely eat. I would spend most of my time in bed, sleeping or with my headphones in listening to music. I would lay in bed and think about everything. I thought about how much my life had changed and I thought about Dylan. After the last few years, I saw him almost every day and now I hadn't seen him in weeks. I wondered about his mom and dad, and their reaction to this all. My parents were being patient and gave me space. They knew I needed time before I was ready to engage with people again. Fai came into my room a week after I came home for the hospital. He sat on my bed and asked me if I needed anything. He didn't ask me how I was because he knew that was a little insensitive. He talked to me about his life to distract me, then he started crying. At first, I thought he was crying because he felt sorry for me, but then he apologized to me. "You know, when you were in the hospital, there was a time that I didn't know if you were going to wake up. I was scared out of my mind, and I started thinking about all the times I was hostile towards you. Then, you said that Dylan had slapped you, and it killed me because I had done the same thing to you a few weeks before and I hate myself for it. he treated you so badly, and I know part of you forgave him because I had done the same to you. I know that's what you thought you deserved but it isn't. I'm so sorry, Zara. I love you so much and I hate myself for not caring enough". Fai was crying hysterically now, and I just hugged him. I knew how much Fai loved me, and I loved him just as much. I forgave him in an instant.