it all started when i was 17 and got hired at McDonalds. it was my first job and i actually enjoyed it. about 3 months into working there this new girl who would end up breaking my heart into a million pieces got hired. on her first day i was the first person she spoke to there because i was at front counter and she asked for the manager. our manager made me train her at front counter and we got along well. she was my first friend at the job. i also need to mention that at this point in my life i was super depressed. it was during the peak of the covid 19 outbreak and i was a senior in highschool and i was failing because i would sleep all day everyday and play ps4 instead of logging onto a laptop. i had no motivation. also ive never been in a real relationship at this time. i honestly feel like i could've but i just was always depressed growing up due to the fact that my family was poor, so i would avoid getting serious with girls because i always felt i wasn't enough . i grew up with 5 older siblings and we were being raised by a single mother. i lost my only brother on my moms side of the family at 13. and me and my family were constantly homeless. during this time it was just me my mom and two of my sisters and we lived in a decent apartment . back to the main topic, me and this girl grew closer over time and i eventually got her number. i got her number because i wanted to show her a song i made, i honestly had no intentions of doing anything else with her number, i wasnt ever really the type to text or talk on the phone with girls very often. as we got closer at work we would text more and more mostly about work. it eventually got to a point where we considered each other to be best friends. it got to the point where we would talk on the phone every night . we would post each other while at work. she is a very beautiful girl and dudes who followed me would constantly ask me to get them right with her. id mostly ignore them. one day a friend who ive known since the start of middle school ask me to get him right with her. im gonna refer to him as "pete" (made up name) pete and i have always been apart of the same tight friend group since 7th grade. he was one of my best friends.i would hang out at his house and play video games we basically grew up together. at this time he had 2 girlfriends, he was known to be a player. i told him that if he wants her he should text her. he did. i told her about it and she was very hesitant about it. i would tell her about how cool pete was and she seemed uninterested. one day i convinced her to smoke some weed with me on our lunch break. before our break my friend pete texted me and asked to smoke. i told him im already about to smoke with this girl and he asked to tag along. i said sure. he was very excited. he pulled up in his car. and took us to go smoke. they met for the first time and they got along well . they found out they shared the same ethnic background and what not. i honestly had no feelings for her at the time because you know, we were coworkers and as a teenager whose never had a real relationship i didn't feel like i had a chance so i didnt care that they got along.he asked her why she didn't respond to the text he sent and she gave him an answer that i don't remember but it led to her eventually responding to the text. heres where things get iffy, after that took place we hopped on facetime as we usually would do at night before sleep (this is about 5 months into working with her) she began opening up to me about her toxic ex of 3 years. this dude took her virginity and she described him as her first love. she told me that he had broken up with her for no reason around the time she got hired. she told me that he kinda resembled me and that when she first met me she had to go to the restroom to let out a cry. she would tell me about how awful he treated her and how she would constantly get cheated on. i felt very bad for her. she was heartbroken. i opened up to her about my sad upbringing and we related on alot of things. we both grew up sad and poor. also she would tell me she loves me every night before hanging up the phone. she would tell me im her favorite person and she really made me feel special. ive never spoken to a girl as much as i did with her. ive never had a girl tell me she loves me like how she would do so much. i eventually started saying it back not thinking much of it because i honestly did have love for her. i grew attached to her as my bestfriend pretty quick. her and my friend pete were starting to text a little. she would tell me that she wasn't interested in him at all and i really believed her. it came to a point where me, pete, her, and another one of my friends would hang out every friday and do something fun like go to miami and ride scooters. it was the third fun friday that changed everything. so pete was the only one with a car . he had a very nice car. he would pick us all up and we would hang out . pete would constantly show interest in her and she would pretend to be uninterested.i believed she was uninterested and so did pete but it turns out she was playing hard to get or something. the third fun friday we went to the fair. while there i noticed pete and the girl were holding hands on a scary ride. i was honestly flabbergasted. they eventually separated from me and my other friend that was there. after we left the fair and dropped her off home pete revealed to me and my friend that he kissed her on the ferris wheel. when i heard that I don't know why but my heart sank. i honestly thought the girl wouldn't mess with him in that type of way but i was wrong. i forgot to mention pete would joke with my other friend about who would get this girl first between me and pete. they would joke about wether or not she likes me or pete more. it seemed alot like she favored me because she would mostly ignore pete and only hang with him if i agreed to be there. pete didn't care about being ignored tho he kept trying. he would always ask me for advice on how to make her like him.i honestly didn't know what to tell hime because i was always just being my regular self around her. she was the one who would call me every night. i honestly didn't understand why. it got to a point where he was stealing my whole persona. she would literally beg me to come anytime he would ask her out. thats how the fun fridays started. on our usual night time call prior to the kiss , i asked her about it, i honestly don't remember her explanation but she made it seem like it was nothing. the next day i had work and she didn't. while at work i had a really bad feeling. i dont know why but i just strongly felt like pete and her were together even though i know they've never hung out alone before. she would always beg me to tag along and tell him she wont go if i dont. so it was just a weird feeling . i go on my lunch break and pete calls me telling me hes gonna pull up. he pulls up with her in his car . i was shocked . i hopped in and they noticed i was a little off. we smoked and talked and what not and i think they felt like i was jealous. at the time i didnt think thats what it was i just felt like i was putting this girl in a bad situation considering i knew bro had 2 girlfriends and no good intentions with her, also knowing about her recent relationship that ended. i went back to work and that kinda ruined my mood.they told me that they went to the beach. pete told me they kissed so more while on the date. he knew he was making me feel some type of way telling me . it seemed like he enjoyed trying to compete with me for her and he was happy that he took the lead. i was shocked. i didn't think she would give him a chance. i felt sick about it honestly. him purposely trying to tease me about it made it no better. i didnt feel jealous i just felt bad. (i probably was subconsciously jealous I don't know man) . i felt the need to tell her the truth about petes triple life. i told her during our night time call. she was shocked but she seemed to take it well. she seemed to not care that much considering she only knew him for about a month at the time. i made her sware to not tell pete that i told her. she told me she was just gonna stop talking to him and forget about it. she said she wasnt even gonna question him, she was just gonna ghost him with no explanation.i was relieved. next day comes and pete is in shambles . hes telling me about how someone snitched to her and told her about his triple life. he was completely clueless on who it was. i thought he would let it go after about a day but no. he was in complete shambles for a week. he would beg me to convince her to talk to him. he would make me text her for him. she had him blocked so he would beg me to use my account. it got annoying. she was showing no interest. she was getting annoyed too. he kept trying tho. he would tell her it was a lie and what not. then boom she ratted me out to him. she said she did it because she was starting to believe him. this made pete furious at me. he was really mad about it and i explained to him why i felt the need to tell her. he eventually forgave me. looking back i really question why she told him. like i hate the fact i let that slide. i guess i was already too attached to her. ive never received this much attention from a girl. all the relationships i had in high-school were super unserious. yes ive had sex before like 3 times at the time but there was never any emotion involved. it was half sex honestly I don't know how to explain it but yea ive never felt so close to a girl. i was very angry with this girl for snitching. she apologized and i decided id let it go. she admitted to me that on the day her and pete went on a date she linked with her toxic ex and had sex (i should've thought about this more, I don't know why i didn't take that as a sign, actually i do know, i really didn't understand how relationships work because i never been in one so i didn't think too deep). i was very shocked. i didn't think she was like that. i wasn't sexually active at all at the time i was 17 she was 16 so i thought we were in the same boat. we weren't. i failed to realize that high-school relationships involve sex. i looked at her as a innocent little girl though so this really amazed me. about a month goes by of her acting a little unusual. she would post sad stuff on instagram a-lot . i didn't think much of it. this one day she told me she was seeing pete in her dreams. she would ask me for advice on what to do. i didn't know what to tell her. i would ask if she had feelings for him and she would always say no. she claimed she was never attracted to him and only let him kiss her because she wanted to move on from her ex. a couple days later she breaks some news to me. she shows me a screenshot of her texting him telling him about the dreams and she asked him if they could "talk" again. he responded by asking her how she thinks i would feel about it . she just blocked him after he asked that and he texted her after instagram. i forgot what he texted her but she ignored him. i was kinda upset. i felt like i told her about his triple life for no reason. she literally tried to "talk" to him again after the risk i took to protect her feelings. she apologized and i forgave her . after seeing how that made me feel i realized i was catching feelings for her. at this point we were falling asleep on the phone together every night. we would say "i love you "before going to sleep literally every night. we would text all day. it felt like i knew everything about her and she knew everything about me. it felt special. people at work would always taunt her and call her my girlfriend. she would seem to get very offended when they would do so. she would respond with things like "ew" or "hes ugly" etc. i also forgot to mention that one of petes ways of trying to impress her was by taunting me calling me ugly in front of her. she would laugh because it was kinda true. i say kinda because it would only happen when we smoked weed. i was kinda new to smoking and whenever we smoked my face would just somehow turn really ugly. i had an ugly high face. well yeah, she seemed to hate the idea of dating me but she was my dearest bestest friend. i would obviously be offended when she would do this but i never really spoke up about it. it would eat me up inside. i was already depressed so it did hurt my feelings even though i knew i wasn't ugly for real. at least to most people. i was just never confident in myself and she honestly wasnt helping. because of this i thought i really stood no chance so i never made a move on her even though i knew i kinda had feelings for her. everyone was convinced she had feelings for me too due to how she would be overprotective with me when it comes to other girls. she didn't like when female customers talked to me for too long . she would really get mad at me for talking to girls and texting them. i was honestly confused on how she felt about me. mostly everyone was saying she likes me but from my pov it just didn't seem true. me and my friend pete got back close after the situation. we would hangout sometimes and he would always ask me about the girl. i eventually told him im starting to catch feelings for her. he seemed supportive. he would begin to start asking me have me and her started dating yet whenever we would hang. i honestly didn't feel comfortable dating her because of what occurred with her and pete. i would tell him no. he would tell me that that was nothing, he would say it doesn't matter because she obviously likes me. i would tell him id feel like a bad friend if i did that because i know how much he liked her. he told me he was over it and he didn't care if i went for it. i was still very hesitant. something in my gut was telling me to just chill. probably my low self esteem. i was probably just scared of rejection. and also apart of me didnt fully trust her . I don't know what it was but i had a gut feeling. now i've known this girl for about 9 months. weve became very close during that period of time. one thing that would occur alot is her randomly getting mad or sad over bs. i always thought it was my fault and id feel bad. she would post quotes and stuff on instagram that gave off that energy. i never thought much of it. also atleast once or twice a month her toxic ex would blow up her phone at night . she would tell me while its happening because most of the time we would be on the phone already while he's spamming her phone. she would always ignore as he would call and text off of fake numbers. he would pull up to her house and beg her to come outside . i didn't think much of it. i thought she was over him . i thought he was old news. she had me convinced that she was over him. we had each other's instagram accounts also. i would see him text her things like "your really leaving me for this guy" etc. i never looked too deep into it. I don't know why i was so nonchalant. i didnt care to know who this dude was or anything because i thought this girl was done with him completely. thats probably where the gut feeling was coming from. something began subconsciously telling me me to ask her about it. i didn't know how to ask. mind u this girl would ask me from time to time if i had feelings for her. the first time she asked was a little after the pete situation. i told her that i kinda was starting to until she asked pete to "talk" again. she was understanding and shrugged it off. she would then go on to always jokingly say things that would infer that i obviously like her but i would deny because I don't know i was scared she would be weirded out be me liking her. i thought she was just tryna clarify or something. i also didn't mention that she would come over to my house almost every friday. we continued the fun friday tradition after the pete situation. we would go do fun things like go karts or the movie. with 1 or 2 of my other fiends. at first we tried doing it with pete but pete stopped after 1 or 2 times obviously because of the awkwardness. it was obvious at the time that he still kinda liked her but he would deny. i even caught him texting her instagram once (i had her account and he didnt know).this was before i told him i liked her btw. but yea my gut was telling me to ask her something. i didn't know what to ask and i didn't wanna seem weird by asking a personal question. we weren't dating so her sex life isnt really my business but this girl had me sprung. she would try her best to convince me i was the only boy she would speak to everyday, she would tell me im her only friend which was kinda true . we talked 24/7 , it seemed like we were all we had. she even bought me the newest nba 2k game at the time. which is something girlfriends are known to do for their boyfriends. it was kinda a couples trend. she would get mad at me if i hung up the phone while she slept. i would kinda do the same. when she would hang up at night while i was asleep she would always either say it happened by itself, which can sometimes be true, or she would blame it on me. i wouldn't really think much of it. i really wanted to know if she liked me , i wanted to know if she was being real with me, i wanted to know if it was time i finally get a real girlfriend. i even told her i liked her twice but she claims she thought i was joking. the time came when one day i noticed her toxic ex randomly followed her on instagram. she blocked him a couple months back after he was spamming her. she was following him back. i didnt know what to think . when it came time for our late night call i knew i had to ask her something. so boom, she calls me and i somehow bring up the topic "sex" i don't remember how or why but it worked. i eventually asked her when was the last time she had sex. at first she was hesitant to answer but then she was like "you want me to be honest ? like last month" . i was heartbroken hearing that . she began to cry and confess saying it's because he wouldnt leave her alone. she said sometimes he just wouldn't stop calling so she would go outside and give him sex so he would go away. i was still hurt. she would always tell me shes over him whenever he was brought up. she would get offended kinda if i were to even consider that. when he would spam her phone, i would say stuff like "maybe u should talk to him" she would get mad. she didnt like me saying stuff like that . she explained to me that the last time they had sex was for-sure gonna be the last time . she heard the pain in my voice through the phone. she somehow flipped it tho. she ended hanging up on me . she sent me a paragraph saying sorry and she knew she was hurting me. i was very very hurt. my heart was shattered. i really loved her and to hear that she was still seeing her ex really kilt me inside. she told me that we should take a break from talking and i agreed. we didn't speak for like 3 days for the first time in months. we would see each other at work and not speak. she eventually called me one night . she called me and basically she was playing victim. she was saying i shouldn't care about what her and her ex is doing. mind you i didn't try show any signs of anger or anything when she confessed. i didn't even expect for her to care to keep that typa information from me since i thought she didn't like me in that way. i was confused but yea she basically told me to me to get over it. i tried to come off as as cautious as possible when it came to accepting her back as a friend. i told her that she must not lie to me anymore about what she has going on . she agreed to not lie anymore . i explained to her that i felt like she was purposely toying with my emotions. she claimed that she wasnt sure if i actually liked her or not. she was blaming me for not making it clear that i liked her. i tried to explain to her how she made it har for me to expressing my feelings for her but she didn't understand. i even told her about how i told her i liked her and she denied that ever happened . so we started speaking again but it was a little awkward at first. she felt that my energy changed towards her, it definitely did. i was trying to be cautious and not get hurt agin. first the pete situation, now this. i let her betray me twice.i told my friends about what happened and they clowned me . she hated the fact that i told my friends because we would all hang out sometimes so she felt like my friends wont be cool with her anymore. she seemed really upset about it, she would complain about how my friends don't acknowledge her. at the time i didnt think much of it but now i think to myself why did she care so much. probably because she didnt have any of her own friends I don't know , still kinda weird. so boom me and her are cool again, and we started to grow closer in a way. she started to come over to my house more and our hugs grew longer. i thought she for sure that she liked me now. i just didnt know when i should make a move. it took me about a month and a half to finally make a move and kiss her one day after work. after that day we would have make out sessions regularly. it went from simply making out to me eventually fingering her while we would kiss in her car that her stepdad would let her use. after about a month of that we began having sex. ive had sex before but never for more than a minute. it was always rushed or i was just doing it wrong. this was my first time having full on sex. it was nice. we both agreed it felt natural. i was the second dude she had sex with. after that day we would have sex almost everday. she would come to my house every morning before school and we would have sex. she was a senior at the time while i graduated the year prior. mind you, i never asked her to be my girlfriend so we were technically just best friends who have sex and kiss. although things were going well between us, i couldn't get over the situation that happened with her ex. i felt like she still had feelings for him due to the fact she was letting him use her for sex. he would literally pull up on her just for sex and then block her after and then repeat 1 or 2 times a month. i didn't understand why she would allow that and keep it a secret from me. i would constantly bother her about it and she hated it. as i would bother her more truths came out. she admitted that after the pete situation she took it upon her self to call him on 2 separate occasions. after that it was just him calling her and she would mostly try to ignore him.he probably pulled up about 25 times and she gave in about 4 or 5 times within that 9 month span. it still angered me. i felt betrayed. especially since she kept these details from me . i felt like she was hiding more stuff. i felt like she was still lying to me. we would argue almost every night because of this and she hated it. she would sometimes offer to just leave me be, claiming she felt bad, that she didn't think she deserved me. i would always tell her to relax . i would tell her that i never want her to leave me because i honestly felt that way. at this point i was deeply in love with her. she was all i knew. she was my safe space. and she claimed i made her feel the same. i wanted revenge at this point tho. i was tired of feeling like a sucker. this was about 4 or 5 months into our relationship i think. so boom i started texting a girl on instagram. i ended up meeting her the same day. she was nice but she wasn't really my type. i just wanted sex. i didn't know for sure if she was gonna let me tho. so i basically pulled up on her in my moms car and i took her to a park . we sat down and talked at the park . i forgot what we talked about but it was jus basic starter convo. as it got late i asked her if shed like to watch a movie. she said yes . we went in the car and i put on a netflix movie. we sat in the car and watched for about 10 minutes until i offered her to go to my house and finish the movie there. she said yes. we got to my house and went in my room. i was very nervous. i didnt know how to make it hapoen. we layed on my bed and she instantly told me that i better not be expecting sex. that kinda downed me but i was ok. i thought the mission was failed. so we just layed down and watched the movie on my tv. she started removing her cothes and telling me not to touch her. i was very confused. she was laying next to me butt naked and i decided to get naked too. i began cuddling her and touching her private area. she was acting hesitant but eventually gave in. i finished way faster than i usually do, i think because i had a rush of adrenaline from doing something i knew i shouldn't be doing. it was ok. i dropped her off home and it turns out she had a boyfriend . he was outside her house walking a dog. that was that. we didn't speak much afterwards. i honestly didn't feel very guilty afterwards. i felt like me and this girl were even. i thought things would only get better as long as she never finds out. me and this girl had sex the same day prior to me cheating. i totally fucked up by doing that. it turns out the girl i cheated with had chlamydia which caused me to give it to my best friend. i started showing slight symptoms after about 3 weeks i think. my best friend also claimed to have a yeast infection.i thought thats what my symptoms were, a yeast infection i may have gotten from her. she told me yeast infections are normal for girls and they go away on their own so i didnt think much of it. the symptoms wouldnt go away so i went to the hospital and told them what's happening. they tested me and i came back positive for chlamydia. i was sick to my stomach hearing that. i didn't understand how i got infected when i used a condom. i realized it's because i touched the girls private parts and didn't shower before having sex with my best friend. i touched her privates with the same hands just a couple hours after. i knew i had to confess to her but i was scared. it took me a day or two to finally confess. she reacted terribly. i thought she was done with me . she thought she was done with me. i begged until i somehow convinced her to stay with me. it took a couple of days of arguing and what not. we would go to the hospital together for treatment. somehow this made us grow closer. even though we would fuss and fight about i felt more connected to her and she felt the same. we went about the situation the wrong way tho. we started having sex too soon which made the treatment ineffective. this happened about 4 times in a span of like 6 months. we kept getting infected and each time she would be angry and accuse me of cheating again. it would make her so mad to the point where she would say hurtful things. she would say completely out of pocket things . she would always threaten to go have sex with my friends (i should've took that as a sign). she would say she should have chosen pete over me . it was just crazy . her constantly saying this typa stuff to me made me feel some type of way. i started to become more insecure than i was before. i took the things she would say while angry to heart and i wondered if she even wanted to be with me for real. i felt like she really wanted to be with pete and i ruined her chances. she would say things that would kinda imply that thats what happened. these thoughts began eating me up . i felt like it was time for me to just be done with her but she wouldnt let me leave and i honestly didn't want to leave either i just felt like i HAD to for both of our mental health. we would argue and fight too much. i would sometimes just offer a break to her but it would never work out. we couldn't resist each other. i honestly don't remember but im pretty sure it was me who couldn't resist calling her 1 or 2 days after telling her we're going on break. each time she would cry and beg because she thought i was doing this just to go cheat. i honestly wasn't but i could see why she believed that. it came to a point where i really felt like we needed time apart , it was getting too toxic and she wasnt good at communicating . a topic we would always argue about is basically me asking her if she only started getting intimate with me because she felt bad about what she did before. she would always give terrible answers. i would ask her why she would give in to her ex and she would give terrible answers. her answer was basically "you weren't making a move fast enough so i was casually having sex with my ex because i wasn't sure if you liked me" . she would even say that she had no intentions on being with me, she would say she just wanted to be friends at the time. i truly believe that she knew how i felt while she was doing that which is why she chose to lie about it and do it sneakily. she also took too long to admit that she was the once who called him the first 2 times. before she would lie and say it was just him bothering her. but no she was missing him even while i was in the picture. and to make it worse she admitted that she would've completely been done with her ex if her and pete wouldve kept talking because shes "loyal" but she felt like when it came to me she had every right to lie to me. that made me feel like shit and she completely stood on that. i would try to make her change her answers but thats how she felt and i hated it. i also did some research and i found the dates she went and had sex with her ex, i found this by going on a app girls use to track their periods and sex life. she literally had the days they had sex marked on a calendar on her phone. i was happy to see she was honest about only seeing him about 5 times out of like 29 . but this also lead to me finding out that she had sex with him right after i tried to tell her i like her and she claims she thought i was joking. she would claim that she wouldn't have done what she did if i would've told her that liked her and this proved that was a lie. i told her i liked her and he started calling her the same night and she gave into it. its crazy because that night i remember perfect. she was asleep on the phone and she screamed "fuck!" and hung up. i laid their confused and I don't know why i didnt bother to call back. i really wish i would've. i wonder if she would've not went through with it. if i would've maybe caught her before how different things would be. i even asked her the next morning why she screamed like that and she lied to me. i straight up asked if it was because of her ex and she said no. this showed me that she been lying to me for months because i would always ask her if she told the full truth, thats all i ever wanted. this led me to really feel like i deserved a real shot at love. i felt like our situation was forced. it didn't feel natural and she wasn't making it any better. i eventually explained how i felt. i even told her i wanna have sex with another girl. i wanted to feel a real connection with a woman. at this point in time my confidence went up since before , i knew how to talk to girls better and all so i felt like i had a shot at a real connection with a girl rather than the forced situation i was in. i wanted to see if i could have someone like me for me for real. it hurt her hearing my explanation. i told her never mind but in her head she felt i really really wanted that. she eventually agreed to give me a week pass to do whatever i want. i forgot to mention at this point in time we're bout 10 months in and we both have new jobs. so i met a girl at work and she was a virgin. i took this girls virginty within 3 days . i didnt feel how i thought id feel about it. i honestly felt terrible . i ghosted her after taking her virginity. i explained what happened to my best friend and she was hurt but she accepted me back still. i explained to her how i no longer have any desire for other women but she didn't believe it. one day she received a random text from her ex and i responded for her basically pressing him telling him dont text her. he called and we argued back and forth . he was saying things to trigger her and it was working. looking back i should've took that as a sign, the way he still had control over her emotions should've let me know that she isn't what she says she is. me and him agreed to fight when we see each other. she admitted to me that she went out somewhere with an old friend who is a pretty popular underground rapper that i would actually listen to. this angered me because it wasnt part of our deal. she felt like she could do that because of the pass she gave me. i didnt agree. she claimed nothing happened but i was still upset. this caused us to go on a "break". during this time we were both planning on going to a college town for a week of partying. i went with my friends and she went with hers. we linked while there and had sex while on "break" . on the last night there we were at the same party and she saw me get twerked on. that made her upset. that was childish of me but i was still mad at her for hanging with that guy . so yea i headed back home before she did and i picked her up from the train station when she reached where we live. i brought her to my house and something felt off. we were laying in bead and i quickly snatched her phone. i checked and saw that she had bee been texting a 17 year old boy from back in the college town (she was 18 at the time) . i was furious. i also saw texts from the dude she hung out with. turns out he tried to fck her and she didn't tell me. i called him off her phone and he claimed it was the other way around. i didn't know what t believe. i know she had a yeast infection at the time so i honestly wasnt too convinced that she asked him to fck her but the fact that she wasnt telling the full truth made it hard for me. this caused me to slap her in the face for the first time. i was very angry. before that we would fight but i never really hit her , it would usually just be her hitting me and me grabbing her and throwing her around . but i just had to slap her this time idk . she apologized for not being honest and it was whatever. days go by and the same thing happens but this time it was her texting with her ex. she gave me a bullshit excuse as to why she was texting him. she claimed it was him texting her and she thought he was texting because he was ready to fight me. i go and press him to try and get the truth and he's telling me that she was calling him and she wants him. at first i didn't believe it but he started saying things that he would only know if she told him. i was heartbroken. i tried to make her confess and she kept lying, i didnt know what the trutrh was but i knew she was lying. this shattered me. she would claim that she hates this man and how he would treat her terribly so i was jus in shock and disbelief. i didn't know what to do. it seemed like she still had feelings for him. i would specifically tell her to not answer if he calls. this is where everything started going downhill in my opinion. this is the situation tht caused us to really separate. i was beefing with her ex and she was literally playing both sides. this caused me to slap her agin. i told her if she's telling the truth she would tattoo my name to prove it. she did it even though she knew she was lying. big arguments stemmed from that situation. i was completely broken. i was ready to kill dude for her and she was moving like that. i noticed that the more i harass her ex through text the more secrets get let out . i kept doing it. me and my best friend would constantly argue and fight during this time and she would let me know that each time we go on "break" it gets easier for her. i was starting to lose her apparently. i should've known when she was entertaining her ex. that situation made me realize what im dealing with tho. a serial liar . a couple toxic months later i decided to take a break from smoking and sober me couldn't tolerate this girl. this caused us to go on our longest break of 1 month.during tht month i actually cheated for the 3rd and 4th time. i felt i had to because i felt something was off. i also got hired at her job. we got back together after i finally smoked again i threw up in my bed and couldn't move and i called her to come save me. she came quick and it was amazing what she did for me that night. about 2 weeks go by and im arguing with her ex through text . he eventually sends me screenshots that show my best friend basically texting him to link and have sex literally a couple days before our first kiss. in the messages she was telling him she still wants to be with him but she felt like he wasn't trying to take her serious. she was telling him that she would never date me, that i'm just her friend. this showed me that she literally did not wanna be with me . i was really hurt. she only started messing with me because her ex didn't want her. if her ex wanted to he could've swooped her right outta my arms . so i wait til night time to ask her "when was the last time you saw your ex?". she claimed it was the day i told her i liked her like she would always lie and say but this time i was knowing she was completely lying. i explained to her that her ex sent proof and i wanted to hear it from her mouth. she kept lying . i had to say it myself for her to confess. she even tried to lie about if they had sex. it all made sense. i honestly felt thats what it was the whole time, that's literally what we would argue about 90% of the time and it felt kinda good to know my gut wasnt wronging me but i was deeply hurt still. the one girl i ever loved is only with me because her ex didn't want her. i felt like a rebound. a backup plan. a second option. really a third option because she wanted pete over me too. this led to me telling her i was completely done with her. i told her to leave me alone for good. i told her dont come to my house and try to beg like she would usually do, i told her ill slap her if she comes near me. she came. it led to me slapping her a couple times and i body slammed her and kicked her. looking back at it i feel terrible I don't know how i was able to do that but at the same time i cant say i regret it because with al the stuff she admitted after i did that, i strongly feel like she deserved way more than what i did but i would never go that far. after i did that she was still trying to talk and apologize but i made her leave. she left angry. she started to text me confessing that she was the one calling her ex on the train . basically admitting to playing both sides, so she really got the tattoo for no reason . i was done with her . i was heartbroken . so i sent her a pic of me cheating back in february. i guess that triggered her x100 because she did the unthinkable. days later i kinda cooled down and told her how i felt and she told me how she felt. i was still tough talking her because i was still done with her i just wanted to end on decent terms maybe. but i guess i was too late . she started ignoring my calls . i felt like she was about to do something irreversible. i was done with her but i wanted to end slowly, i wasnt ready to give her to someone else. but apparently she was determined to do something grimy because of the pic i sent. i was blowing her phone up for days and i would barely get responses. one night i pulled up to her house and started blowing her phone up while off shrooms. she then posted on social media "it be your own homeboys " and quickly came outside, hopped in her car and drove off. i tried to chase her while being anonymous but i was tripping off shrooms so i lost her 🥺. i searched everywhere for her but i couldn't find her . i checked at multiple friends houses. i was losing my mind driving super crazy. i went and parked back by her house and decided to wait for her. i sat for hours . i made a couple of videos . i was going crazy off shrooms , i was seeing faces it was really scary. i caled the suicide hotline and nobody answered. i was going through it. i was crying nonstop . eventually my best friend came back after about 4 hours. i felt like she did the unthinkable. she called me after she saw me parked by her house and claims she just went out to smoke with her female friend. i didn't believe her but i just decided to let it go at the moment. and we kinda just ended on decent terms. i went home and cried about it. i vowed to never do shrooms again. so boom time goes by and we aren't speaking at all until i ask her to go to the movies with me . she was hesitant at first but agreed to go eventually. during the movie date we took shrooms. aside from the shrooms her vibe was different. she would look at me with a face of disgust and i noticed she was trying to force herself to seem uninterested in me. thats not like her, it was different from how shes ever acted. i felt the love was gone. that day she was just letting me have it. she told me that "people " are telling her that i start problems too much and that im violent and what not when she's literally the reason me and her ex were beefing. she literally made us beef, played both sides, had me crashing out for her, just for her to say i start too much problems etc. i just took it though. i didn't know what to say, i was hurt hearing that. a couple days after that date we linked again to do shrooms and have sex. it was her idea. i don't remember what happened completely during our trip but i remember talking about if she'd ever cheat on me back. she was saying she would only do it if she didn't love me anymore. she was basically hinting to something ☹️. i remember talking about threesomes and she was saying she would have a threesome with me and one of my friends and i didn't know how to react, i was tripping off shrooms, i wish i wouldve reacted properly to what she was saying. she then said she'd never have a threesome with me and another girl but shed have sex with a couple if they both look good. i put two and two together and assumed she was talking about pete and his girlfriend. i was damn near tearing up hearing her talk like this and she was enjoying it. after that day we agreed to try to leave each other alone. it was over. at the time i was selling weed. after about a month my ex best friend claimed that she was kicked out by her mom and needed a place to stay. i let her stay with me for about a week. it was obvious that she was still "in love" with me or whatever it was. oned day while serving a female customer she noticed i wasnt ok. she asked whats wrong and i told her everything. she felt bad for me and that started our friendship. we went on our first date the day my ex best friend left my house. i left her there at my house planning on coming back later and she didnt like that. i told her i was going out with my friends but she knew i was lying somehow. she left while i was gone and sent a paragraph explaining how i made her feel. i didn't care honestly because i knew she wasn't herself anymore. me and this new girl got along pretty well. we would hangout and smoke almost every day. she was fresh out a toxic relationship too so we were just vibing. during this for some reason my ex best friend was constantly sub tweeting at me . saying outta pocket things. hinting at outta pocket things. she would literally type out tweets about doing the unthinkable and then deny shes done such a thing when i ask her. she knew i would watch her page so she was purposely playing with my brain. she kept hinting at it. one day i got fed up and pulled up to her house telling her to come outside and tell the truth. she refused to come out so i broke her car window and drove home. she followed me. she tried to return the favor but it didnt work. i grabbed her and then grabbed her phone. i made her put in the password and started searching. she was texting multiple dudes. she was calling dudes daddy through text messages. all types of slut activities . I don't know how but i somehow found the contact that changed everything. i called this specific contact and told her to ask him "did you use a condom" she did it, he said yes. i died on the inside. i started screaming and all i could remember is her laughing at me. she told me that she swallowed his semen i don't remember why i was told this but i was sick. i went inside my car and just sat there and cried. she came knocking at my car window. i got out and pinned her against a car and grabbed her by the neck. i told her to leave me alone. she said ok. she saw the anger in my eyes i could tell she was scared. she went home and continued to joke about how bad she hurt me. she showed me a picture of her from the night before with whose supposed to be my replacement . it was a very blurry picture . i still wonder what that picture is. it was tragic. she was doing all she can to hurt me. i feel like she was honestly mad because i didn't forgive her at all. thats why she did what she did and kept it a secret while hinting at it. she did it and was ashamed or something. she wasn't ready to really let me know what shes done but she doesn't realize that she didn't have to keep trolling on twitter hinting that she did something with another man. she would literally post something like "this boy got me in a chokehold😫" or "i found the one that does it the best" just to then tweet something like "i would never use my body as revenge i have respect for myself, only dirty thots do that" . i realized if she did do something she's embarrassed and ashamed.i was very confused so i needed to know the truth. the next day i texted the guy she had sex with on instagram and he explained to me that he asked for her number at work and linked her about 2 days later. he said he took her multiple places and she paid for their food. he said she initiated the sex by randomly going for his pants in the car and giving him oral. he said he was making out with her. he said she made him cum twice, once in her mouth. and she told me she squirted for the first time later in an argument. i told him he could keep her. so boom im heartbroken and done with this girl for sure. finding out that she gave her body away like that made it easy for me to not talk to her. i was starting to hang out with my new friend more often she was very understanding of my situation, her and her sister. after about a month my ex best friend sends a screenshot of my friend pete sending her his location . she tried to crop it so i couldn't tell what day that was but i was easily able to tell it was the same day i was off shrooms in front of her house for hours. i didnt even bother to respond. i already knew what i needed to do. after she saw i didn't respond she tried to text more and explain how they didn't do anything. she was trying to convince me that he tried to have sex with her and she wasn't having it. i didn't respond to any of her texts. i was blowing up petes phone trying to get an answer. when he finally answers we discuss it. all of the guys were apart of the discussion. pete claimed she asked him to have sex with her and he said no. he said she came crying to him saying i abused her and she asked him to help her get revenge but he was just giving her a shoulder to cry on. i didn't believe anything . i told him i was gonna beat him up. he was telling me the details she told him about getting fucked. i beat him up the same day. me and him are no longer cool. so boom at this point i know me and her are officially done for good. months go by and i only received 1 text that i think was from her that said "i hope your ok" and i ignored because thats a terrible way to talk to someone again after breaking their heart into a million pieces. she seemed to not have any remorse on social media too . she would constantly sub tweet about me trying to get a reaction. i had to go ghost. thats what im pretty sure led to her texting me. and the fact that she only texted me one time through that period really made me realize that its me who cant leave her physical self alone. she made no attempts to se me and i felt worthless. i expressed to my friends about how i missed my ex best friend how i miss her so much. one of them took my phone and texted her. she instantly responded and i convinced her to link. i was seeing her again for the first time in what felt like forever.. i remember it like it was yesterday she was so soft and warm and i was so happy to touch her again. we had sex and i don't remember what else. i tried to avoid asking her about what shes done but it eventually came up and shed give bullshit answers. we linked again about 2 days later. we had an argument after sex. we were having sex in her car and someone was texting her or something and we stopped having sex because she claimed it was starting to hurt. i didn't believe her. she asked me if i wanted her to leave i said yes and i left and went to my car. she followed me and i told her to leave me alone. i was crying. she kept bugging me so i snapped on her about everything since she kept asking whats wrong. for the first time she was showing some sort of remorse. she was telling me she didn't want to do it and how sorry she is. for a second i was in awe, i actually believed she was a good actor. i realized that and decided i should call my new friend to make her leave. i called her and my ex best friend didn't care. she was telling my new friend that i invited her over and what not. my new friend didn't care because she was talking to someone, she isn't the jealous type also. ( yes me and her were sexually active together after like 2 month of being just friends).i also forgot to mention that during this time me and my family were being forced out our town house due to a sudden ac leak. we had no where to go. we had to leave asap. my mom and sisters went to go live with my oldest sister. my mom found a new place but we had to wait some time to move in. i was occupying the house still until the official date we had to leave. i explained all this to my ex best friend while she was there. after she eventually left i went to my new friends house hoping to spend the night at her house. her me and her sister had a smoke session in my car. my ex best friend started calling me . she threatened to tell my mom i do drugs if i dont come sleep with her at her house. i had no choice but to go. i went and snuck into her house to sleepover every day . i would sometimes be trapped in her room for days at a time. we had sex every night and every morning. i wouldn't pull out because multiple reasons😂. we got into an argument one night and it caused me to walk out on her and walk to one of my friends house. he let me sleep over as much as i needed. one of the days i get a text from my ex best friend. she tells me she's pregnant. this wouldn't be her first time lying about being pregnant. she showed proof and all tho. i kinda ignored her because i had to process it. well at first we both wanted an abortion we just had no money. then boom me and her get into an argument over a money play gone wrong. she basically thought i scammed her , i was denying it and she was asking me for money that i really did not have. she kept bothering me asking for money that i owed her because i convinced her to help with this money play. when she realized she was getting nothing she started snapping on me saying disrespectful things. i let her go off until she said something that triggered me for real. i started snapping on her telling her about how much i hate her. apparently she was joking when she was yelling at me because when i snapped back she said "wait why are you mad" she seemed confused like she didn't just disrespect me. i eventually hung up and here she goes spamming me wit bs. she told me she was gonna keep the baby just so im forced to deal with her the rest of my life. shes about 5 months pregnant now and i need advice . she says its for sure mine but at the same time every time we argue she admits to sleeping with other people unprotected and then after she'll try to take it back and say she was lying to make me mad. i would believe her but nah, ive seen how she texts other boys , this girl constantly craves attention from other boys it seems she can't go any period of time without getting attention from a male its like she needs it to survive. and knowing her, she been lying since ive met her. i don't think she realizes that when she admits to these sins whether she's joking or not i have every right to believe that isn't my child and she has no right to pin that baby on me knowing that shes had unprotected sex with other people. that's literally all she tweets about. all her tweets are either about sex , ex or just straight up bullshit about boys. i've asked her multiple times to chill but i've realized shes really addicted. she has over 2 thousand tweets even though she just recently started tweeting. ive been tweeting for years and im not even there yet. mind u during our relationship id tell her about twitter and shed call it lame. she didn't start using it until we started drifting apart and she seen the type of interactions id get. she basically started trying to match my energy. she overdoes it tho which makes it hard to consistently stay cool with her. at this moment point i dont care to be cool with her i just wanna detach that baby from my name. i don't want anything to do with my ex best friend anymore . i truly dont even know her anymore and i feel like she's really having this baby just to have me as her baby daddy. i still ask her to get an abortion but she doesnt want to. she claims that she wont bother me or my family and wont tell anyone its mine but i know she wont keep that promise. i also tell her that it doesnt matter if she tells people, thats not the problem, i simply dont want a kid by her and she doesnt care . now i have to just pray that its for someone else, shes been sexually active unprotected with others and i have screenshots of her saying so to prove just incase anyone tries to say im wrong for not claiming that child. i need a dna test before i do anything. and i honestly feel like i have every right to not be present in that childs life because of the way this girl acts towards me. she literally makes me wanna kill myself. she always tells me to kill myself. shes constantly trolling and provoking me and she has no remorse at all. she knows how close i am to the edge but constantly pushes me. why would i wanna be around that negativity for 18 years. i might not make the full 18. i remember when she used to show emotion and cry if id hurt her feelings. now she just seems to not have feelings at all shes just pure evil and anger. She showed me that she has a new boyfriend and she tells me she's already having sex with him while she's pregnant. i already know shes gonna try to say she was lying about that because she was mad and was trying to make me mad but i cant keep believing that excuse.Im sorry but im not strong enough to stick around while she is acting like this.
YOU ARE READING
How I Got a Demon Pregnant
Non-Fictionthe story how i fell in love with a succubus and got her pregnant.
