Our Mother the Mountain

46. The Purifying Crystal

Ethan wasn't quite sure if he enjoyed or loathed the silence that was left in Eva's wake. On one hand, it was unbearable, to be so alone so abruptly. There was no whisper in his mind, no being that sat within him to keep him company in his dark moments. On the other, quiet meant...peace, rest, didn't it? It was supposed to.

Since he was sitting in a car with every similarity to his own, his memories moved back to Dulvey. That long drive through the bayou, that fateful moment when he stepped onto the Baker property, leaving Lily behind.

And then later, when she was in Jack's garage.

That had been the start, for him, anyway. Now he was at the finish. The whole fucking thing had wrapped up. How bizarre that he'd landed here, though he supposed the whole experience was bizarre. Was it really over? Could it ever really be over? That's the sole expectation Mia had, and boy, had she been let down. Ethan thought about Rose. She was still so young, not even two yet.

Even if Miranda was gone for good, it would probably never be over. Ethan thought that Chris might agree, even if no one else did.

He seemed to summon the agent with his thoughts; Ethan's phone rang and he stared numbly around, wondering where in the hell it was. The melody-the phone's default-was sharp and disjointed here in this place of Karl's memory, where the newest machine was probably the radio in a fifty year old Dodge Challenger. With fumbling hands, Ethan fished the phone from his damp, muddy jeans and brought it to his ear without even looking.

"Hello."

"Hey, sweetie. Christopher let me use his phone."

Christopher ? Ethan chuffed, and with a shadow of a smile, "How are you doing, Mom?"

"Well, the painkillers are great," she said in a faux-chipper tone. "I just got out of surgery, we're all good, Joe even got a commendation on his emergency skills, so he's satisfied."

"That's great to hear."

"They want to keep me here a few more days, but I've said no. I don't like it here, Ethan." Her voice dipped. "These...these are the people that..."

"I know." He said it curtly, remembering all of his own appointments. Mia's. Even Rose's checkups. Had they known? Had they known what they all were?

He'd never gotten the courage to ask Chris, but Ethan already intuited the answer. He spoke after a shaky breath.

"As long as it's safe you should come back as soon as you can."

"I think Christopher is just getting transportation ready now," she said with her own sigh of relief. "He is going to come back with us. He's worried about you, honey, and so am I. He told me everything." Her voice finally cracked, and Ethan's gaze dropped from the machinery down to the speedometer, which was stock. It topped at 150. How many times he'd pushed it to the max. Ethan wondered if Karl would do the same, given the chance. Well, obviously Karl would. He'd get more than 150 out of it.

"I'm so, so sorry Ethan."

"It's okay." A well-rehearsed and often repeated phrase. One he never meant. Hadn't meant in years.

"It's not okay, honey. It's not. It's a horrible, awful thing. I've been through it." At once the hollow feeling in Ethan's chest turned into a heavy, overwhelming weight that he felt would crush him. He inhaled, trying to suck in air but not feeling as if he were breathing. She was still talking; he focused on her voice, and it moved from a dull roar to a semblance of English. "I'll be back soon, okay? You tell those girls I love them. And tell Zoe that I commend her on being able to take this man literally anywhere outside of a swamp."