I can't take it, everyday, every-FUCKING-day, put on the make, put on the costume, entertaina bunch of ungrateful kids, get called a creep, ect.
this is my life as a performer. This god damn circus is run by my family, and I can't escape. I tried to argue, i don't want to do this, but there is no escape. My parents got me in their palms, even if I ran, i would be homeless.
I have no immediate family, and no friends, cause we are always moving, so i just gave up on trying to make friends. Yet again, i feel like being homeless is better for me, at least I wont need to worry about being injured by the animals, or worse, by my performance instructor, better known as uncle Sam.
I am not gonna wait anymore, i will run, and i will take the better path out of here.
"Mom! Dad! Good luck on the show! I'll come to help with packing once i finish this school project." i said, happily as i can. I got my bag ready in my room.
After i hear the truck go off into the distance, i start to write the most angry letter i ever wrote.
'Mom & Dad
I HAD EGNOTH OF YOUR SHIT! I WILL NO LONGER BE TORTURED FOR YOUR MONEY, AND OTHERS HAPPYNESS. GOODBYE
with no good will
Rosaria'
There are a lot of grammar mistakes, but i no longer care. I Take my bag, and run along the side of the road.
I have a fake ID, 50 bucks, clothes, and a bag of chips.
Once I'm out of the town, i stop to catch my breath under a tree.
Looking up into the blue sky, i curse the maker.
"Why do you hate me so much, why did you even make me, you worthless piece of shit!" I was never a religious person, but i need to be angry at someone, anyone. I did not deserve this.
***
As I'm moving along the road, the sun starts to set, and i see a motel. It's expensive, but i think i can stretch the one bag of chips i have.
Checked in, i just fall asleep. Mom and dad must have seen my letter.
***
Years have passed, I have been working odd jobs, living in motels, stuck in an endless cycle.
Today I stepped on today's newspaper, there is a job that pays well, yet the job is covered by a stain.
As I can't lose anything, I'll go at it.
***
Today i will go to get that job, and finally start to get my life back with that money.
As i arrive at the location, my eyes widen, it's them.
My parents are staring into my eyes, into my soul. I wanna run, but I can't.
Am i made to be clown for others and nothing else. Am i just a laughing thing for god. Am just a useless human, made to perform and never be loved.
Am i the clown who rips their guts on stage, to entertain, and no one to see if the clown will be okay.
Am i Arlecchino?
