Tinnitus

Chapter 10

The first time Miyoung had one of her attacks was a day she wouldn't forget. Not even a month into her trainee life, she experienced her first major panic attack.

The practice had gone okay for the most part, but her mentor had to constantly work her through even the simplest of moves. Moves that even amateur dancers could do in their sleep. She had never doubted her abilities like she did that day. With the amount of mistakes she was making, Miyoung couldn't help but feel the eyes of her fellow trainees on her. She thought she could hear them whispering and snickering at her, which made her want to shrink away in embarrassment.

Walking out of the practice room she couldn't help but feel every single type of embarrassment and disappointment in herself. The feeling was so new but felt so familiar to her. The room began to spin, her head felt as if it were splitting in two. Her breaths became more and more shallow. The feeling of her legs seemed to disappear which made them shake beneath her.

She leaned against the wall and pressed her suddenly burning forehead against its cool surface. The world began to close in around her, closing her eyes as tightly as she could, Miyoung slid down the wall and curled up into a ball on the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them as close to her chest as she could, wanting to do nothing but disappear.

"That shitty performance was all you could do?" A voice whispered in the back of her mind.

"Who is that?" She thought to herself.

"She won't last long here." Another voice whispered to the other.

"Should've just crawled back home when you had the chance."

She shut her eyes even tighter and squeezed her legs closer.

"Miyoung?" A familiar voice said.

Slowly opening her eyes, her vision focused onto a familiar face.

Yeonjun.

Her eyes watered before tears began to fall.

His eyes widened as he rushed to her, wrapping her into his arms and squeezing her tightly. The tears in her eyes couldn't stop falling and she gripped onto the sleeve of his shirt.

"It's okay." Yeonjun whispered to her. "You're going to be okay."

She couldn't speak. All that came from her lips were sobs. All she could do was cry. Miyoung had never felt so vulnerable, so weak. But, she felt safe in his arms. Although Yeonjun's hold on her was tight, his touch was so gentle. As if he was touching the wings of a butterfly.

"Thank.. You." She barely managed to say, unsure if he had even heard her.

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As Yeonjun held her close, memories of the past began to run through Miyoung's mind. He kept repeating the same words over and over again, 'It's gonna be okay." She started crying even harder.

"Why?" She muttered through sobs.

Yeonjun didn't respond and just held her tighter. He held her as if he were to let go she would break into a million pieces. Miyoung tried her best to catch her breath, although they were shallow she deeply inhaled then exhaled. Her eyes stung but she couldn't help but stare up at Yeonjun. She didn't know if he was real or if this was a figment of her imagination. But she didn't care.

Her body relaxed in his hold and she let out an exhausted sigh. The voices disappeared, the tears stopped and her mind went blank.

"Are you okay?" The man asked.

Miyoung managed to give a small nod before trying to sit up. Yeonjun's grip didn't budge as he held her against his chest.

"Just. Stay like this for a moment." He mumbled.