The Destroyer of Worlds

Fission

"Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to man. For this, he was chained to a rock and tortured for eternity."

Peer into my soul. My eyes tightly shut, envisioning rolling plasma, hearing the stomping grow louder and louder, until I'm awoken from my daydream.

"Doctor Oppenheimer, as we begin, I believe you have a statement to read into the record?" I glance down at my notes before responding. "Yes, your honor–" before I was interrupted. "We're not judges, doctor." Of course, how could I be so stupid? "No. Of course." I simply say before reading my notes.

"Members of the Security Board, the so-called derogatory information in your indictment of me cannot be fairly understood except in the context of my life and work. This answer is a summary of relevant aspects of my life in more or less chronological order..."

***

"How long did he testify?"

"I forget. Three days, or so. The whole hearing took a month." Lewis Strauss said, sipping tea. "An ordeal." The Senate Aide replied, crossing his legs. "I've only read the transcripts, but who'd want to justify their whole life?" Strauss questions. "You weren't there?" The Senate Aide questions, his brows furrowing. "As Chairman, I wasn't allowed to be. Are they really going to ask about it? It was years ago." Strauss questions, seemingly obsessed with Oppenheimer. "Four years ago." The Senate Aide clarified. "Oppenheimer still divides America–the committee will want to know where you stand." He then checks his watch. "Ready?" The Senate Aide questions, awaiting Strauss' response.

The Senate Aide leads Strauss along a corridor. "Senator Thurmond asked me to say not to feel you're on trial." He says, walking with Strauss. "I didn't, till you said that." Strauss responds, feeling anxious. "Really, Mr. Strauss–" he began before Strauss cut him off. "Admiral." He simply said, correcting his rank. "Admiral Strauss, this is just a formality. President Eisenhower's asked you to be in his cabinet, the Senate has no choice but to confirm for you." He says. "And if they bring up Oppenheimer?" Strauss questioned once they both arrived at the door. "When they bring up Oppenheimer, answer honestly and no senator can deny that you did your duty. It'll be uncomfortable... Who'd want to justify their whole life?" The Senate Aide said, smiling. He opened the door, flashbulbs popping as press and public see Strauss.

***

"Why did you leave the United States?" Robb questioned.

I looked up from my statement at the prosecutor, Roger Robb. I then turn to see the three board members of which are named Gray, Evans and Morgan. "I wanted to learn the new physics." I simply responded. "Was there nowhere here? I thought Berkeley had the leading theoretical physics department–" Gray began before I cut him off. "Sure. Once I built it. First I had to go to Europe. I went to Cambridge to work under Patrick Blackett." I responded, remembering my time learning in Europe.

"Were you happier there than in America?" Robb queried. I recalled to my times in Europe. I was crying most nights, while imagining things like the vastness of the stars swirling around like a group of fireflies. "No. I was homesick. Emotionally immature... troubled by visions of a hidden universe... useless in the lab." I acknowledged, reminiscing of times in the laboratory in Cambridge.

***

I drop a beaker. It feels as if it's dropping in slow-motion, but once it finally hits the ground, it shatters into a million pieces. "Christ, Oppenheimer, have you had any sleep? Start again." Professor Blackett said while taking a bite out of his apple. "I need to go to the lecture." I request, hoping for a confirmation. "Why?" Blackett questioned. "It's Niels Bohr." I plead, hoping to be able to go. "Damn, completely forgot. Let's go." Blackett responded, checking his watch. I begin to pack up with the rest of the students before Blackett stops me. "Not you. Finish coating those plates." He said, pointing to me. I was disappointed, and angry as I saw my classmates leaving with my professor to see Niels Bohr, when I'm the one that reminded him in the first place.