LILY

• Lily's Diary ( 27.06.2021 )

Title: Move on ?

Hi! It's Lily again with my moving on chapter. It's been like a year since I started my moving-on journey, but what? It seems like there is nothing changing. Don't say that I'm not trying, but I just can't help but think about him in everything. I've had enough of all of this. When will this all end?

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The girl named Lily, who was as lovely as the name of the flower she got. She is frequently referred to as the "green girl" because everything around her is about green. Of course, her favorite drink is Matcha, but she also loves coffee. She is interesting to talk to and will tell you stories for hours because she is a Gemini yet an introvert. For her, having a lot of friends is nice, but the type of friend you try your hardest to keep is the one who will be there for you when you are at your lowest. Thankfully, she has Chloe and Mabel as her circle of best friends. The one best friend that knows her better than anyone else.

But who knows? Behind all of that, she is the type of girl who has trust issues, is overthinking, and is hard to love. From someone who once believed in love,someone who always saw love filled with colors,a love letter lover, and someone who believed in fate, to someone who lived her life in black and white, Other than her best friends and family,she also has something that knows everything about her—her secrets,her feelings, and her journey. Since she was in high school,her diary was the only place she could confess everything. For her, a book is her lifesaver because she knows even though it can't talk like a person, at least it's the only thing that makes her say anything about what's going on in her mind. That's made her feel a lot better.

If you're wondering why, then it's from her past. You can tell that she is still stuck with the things she should have let go of. It's not like she doesn't want to let it pass, but it keeps haunting her. Maybe if she goes away to let her mind heal, she will forget all about him, but once she also realizes that no matter how far she goes,she can't control her own mind, In the end, she knows he will be the person who will always have her heart, but she always trusts the process. Even though she hasn't opened her heart to someone else yet, she believes that time will tell, and she will wait for that no matter how long it takes.

But in the end, she knows that she is going to suffer alone and tells herself that she is okay, but deep inside, she is tired. She wanted all of this to end and set them free. She was tired of crying every night just because of one person. She hates him for making her like this, but at the same time, she realizes it wasn't his fault and she should've blamed herself. Asking herself why she can't control her own feelings. Why was she the only one who still kept the feelings? Why was she the only one who still kept the memories? Why can't she erase all of that? She was hoping that God could take all the memories away one day.

- end of chapter 1 -