A Love Letter to Him (Gemini X y/a)

If I could tell him one thing

Have you ever experienced PCD syndrome?

That's exactly what I'm feeling right at this moment. The euphoria I felt during the concert was too good to be true. It's like an addictive substance that I didn't wanna to stop being high on.

Post concert depression syndrome. I've been to multiple concerts but this is the first time I've ever experienced it. Is it because I like this man a lot? Too much to be exact. Is it related?

I don't dream of much in life. But when I first get to know Gemini Norawit Thiticharoenrak, I knew he'd ruined all the other man that will come after him.

He's too good to be true. He's perfect in every way. He's divine.

But as much of a delulu person I am, I am still in touch with the reality. The reality that what he showed us might not be who he is in real life.

Just like the saying "You should never meet your hero.", because in the end of the day they're humans. We as fans tend to make up scenarios based on the little interactions he have with the camera or people around him. We won't know the whole truth until we get to see them in person.

Thus that made me wonder. I wonder if Gemini is as dreamy as I made him to be. Is he as smart? Is he as nice and kind? Is he as funny? Is he as compassionate?

How is Gemini in real life?

When I said I didn't dream big, I meant I desire so little but at the same time it could be too much for others. As a Thaienthu fans, I've always wanted to go to Thailand. To experience the culture, to go to free events of my favourite artist, go to their fanmeetings and their concerts.

But making friends is not my strongest suit. I've seen all these fans going on trip with their Thaienthu friends together yet here I am, not able to fit in with anyone.

Trust me I tried, I really did but I couldn't. One might say then just go alone, there's no problem in doing that. I wish I could. But I'm an only child with overprotective mother. She shoot down my study abroad plan even before I could properly ask her about it.

So to make story short, I manifested myself to get an internship in Thailand. It's just for 2 months, that's the term my mom could deal with.

And then here I am, in Thailand trying to live the life I've always dreamed of. Going to events and concerts of all the artists whether I like them or not.

However, tonight is different. I just got back from GeminiFourth My Turn Concert and just as I've said, the PCD is hitting me like a big truck.

I knew that I like Gemini a lot to the point that I'm scared of how much love I have for him. It's beyond liking an idol and it worries myself.

I shouldn't love him more than that.

I can't.

Not only that it's impossible but it's going to decrease my attachment with the real world because in the end of the story, we live in a different world.

Me and Gemini have too much differences that shouldn't belong together.

I know that but how can something so impossible feels so good.

It shouldn't be it's a-

"Are you lost?", last time I checked I came here alone. Why am I hearing a familiar voice?

I turn my head to my right and to my surprise the person that I've been thinking about is sitting next to me on the grass overlooking the lake.

I've made a pit stop to one of the recreation park infront of my hostel after the concert simply because I didn't want to go home. I refused to end the day. I was sad to see Gemini get down from the stage.