The Blue Magician

• the saaree •

After a long tiresome day, when Aarya comes back home and asks me how my day was, I feel like the richest woman in the universe. He takes off his turban and places his head on my lap, narrates his entire day to me only to end up with, "but Krishna...".  Two years and I still couldn't understand this enigma. I respected him as king, appreciated his abilities but there was something beyond my understanding about this king. He was way too godlike for a human and way too human for the way people worshipped him.

As moon ascended the skies and we sat in the verandah spotting constellations, I asked Aarya about the recent talk of the town. I had heard people talk about an evil man, who also happens to be Krishna's cousin, and his death. Aarya then narrated the entire tale of Shishupal's death.

He described the grandeur of Indrapratha palace , the one that belonged to Empress Draupadi. Now, Draupadi was Krishna too, not just in complexion or glory but also in terms of enigma! What made things even weird was that the namesakes bonded well together. (a man and a married woman as friends? how can that be a thing even !! But tales of Draupadi can wait for now is not the right time)

Emperor of Indraprastha, Yudhishthir, had organised a grand rajsuya yagna and had invited all kings including Krishna. Krishna who usually liked things simpler had taken an extravagant convoy of florists, potters, cooks and musicians with him. Apparently, Yudhisthir is Krishna's cousin and Draupadi his best friend (utter nonsense) and therefore, the convoy from Dwarka had to be grand. My husband was a part of Krishna's entourage. He had thus, seen the dramatic events of the Rajsuya yagna.

He explained to me the significance of the Yagna and continued to discuss at length, the beauty of the palace, the people and Krishna, ofcourse. He told me that the palace had magical waterfalls, gardens that could sing and floor that looked like water. For a few minutes, I completely zoned out and began imagining myself as the queen of that palace — oh, to walk in perfect jewels, silk attires, in corridors that belong to me. I think Aarya sensed my thought because he snapped fingers to bring me back to reality. He was too keen (as always) to sing his Krishna tales.

"Just when Yudhisthir asked Krishna to come forward for yagna, that evil Shishupal stepped forward. He began cursing my Krishna in every way possible."

"What all did he say?" I chimed in, probably the last time until the story ended.

Aarya recalled once again, "He called him a...a robber, a cheat, a fake king, a low-born, dancer and what not. Not one king came forward, not even Krishna's favourite, prince Arjun. I wanted to slice off that evil Shishupal's then and there, but I was forbidden, ofcourse. He kept on speaking and Krishna smiled. He simply smiled Vidhi, without even a sign of distress. But that last allegation — and something came out that shone brilliantly. I tried hard but couldnot see and when I finally did, I found him, my Krishna, standing with a smile, blood prickling from his index finger. Shishupal 's dead body was lying down there, it was all over."

It was hard for me to imagine Krishna as a warrior who could kill. I had always imagined him smiling, playing flute - the way he did when I first saw him. He looks so harmless and playful that him weilding a weapon to kill another king, was beyond my imagination. Aarya was still trying to recall something or maybe he was trying to imagine all that happened while the bright light came infront and he couldnot see , even with full open eyes. I didnot intend to interrupt his profound thoughts but could not control my concern either.

In a low voice, I asked him, "What about that injury on his index finger? Did it heal or did it..."

He interrupted me mid sentence and said, "Well, Empress Draupadi came running towards him, tore a piece from her very expensive saaree and tied it around his wound. It must have healed by now. I think we should sleep now, its already late."

That night, I had a dream.
I saw myself dressed up in the best attire, a silk that I have never seen in my lifetime. I wore jewels that seem outworldy.

Standing beside Krishna, I ask him, "how is your wound now?" He shows me his index finder, covered with a piece of fabric, similar in colour to the saaree I adorn. He takes off that piece and shows me his wound, still bleeding. I hold his hand firmly, and tie a yellow cotton cloth around the wound. I ask him if it hurts. He nods and speaks, "I don't feel pain."

I look visibly irritated and ask him, "Then why did you let Draupadi ruin her saaree? If it didn't hurt, you could have just told her!"
He tells me that the saaree was torn not to heal his wounds but Draupadi's. He tells me that he doesn't feel his own pain, but does feel others'. I ask him, almost scold him, "Why are you such a tease? Why is everything so difficult about you?"
He doesnot answers but in my dream, I am a rural woman again. The riches are gone and I stand near Aarya, helping him with the pottery.

The next morning I woke up late. Aarya had left for work and I felt guilty for not being able to prepare the day's breakfast on time. As I walked towards the kitchen, I stopped by the mirror. I see a yellow fabric wrapped around my index finger, the way I had tied it around Krishna's finger, in my dream. Was I seeing things or was I crossing some levels of insanity?

I panicked as Krishna's voice echoed in my head, "To heal her wounds not mine..."