The Blue Heart 💙

Hope💙

How can a beautiful morning make you feel low? I asked myself. "Hey, it's a new day; wake up! You have a lot to do, including boring classes to attend. I'm not the kind of girl who wishes to go to college every day, but what to do when you have to. Amidst these random thoughts, I wondered why I couldn't start my day. Then it hit me—I didn't have my special one with me to wish him 'A good morning.' It's weird; for the past 55 days, while everyone around me awaited morning wishes, I was always in search of new words to make my boy, my blue heart, the happiest.

His daily replies, appreciating my madness, will always be etched in my heart, no matter how far he is. It seemed like, at 20, what else could a girl need when she lacks love and care from someone special? Yeah, that was the missing piece when I started my day. Hours went by. Who am I looking for? Whose messages am I waiting for? His words echoed in my mind, "If anything bad happens between us, you will be the only responsible one, and you are going to regret your decision."

The sudden patter of raindrops echoed through the air, each one tapping on my window like a delicate melody,one of the most beautiful feelings the planet could offer. I couldn't help but turn my gaze toward the dancing droplets, the rhythmic sound creating a soothing symphony. The earthy scent of petrichor filled the room, transporting me to a place where memories intertwined with the sweet fragrance of rain-soaked soil, a scene reminding me of the person with the blue heart. The missing turned to craziness whenever I looked around; every corner, every sound, everything made me feel like I badly needed him back in my life. The past three days were harder to pass without his smile actually laughter, his good old stories, his passionate talks about sports, music, games and movies, his unique thoughts on life, his travel destinations, his future plans—all of which turned into ours.

However, I never let him accept that we would be together; I was scared. I didn't want him to get hurt. I hid all my feelings for him because I couldn't afford to lose my companion. The parallel world we created was the best thing we had ever done, a world of zero judgments, surrounded by lush greenery, vibrant flowers, and crystal-clear waters, more like an island.Our home was a cozy tree house nestled between towering trees, where the leaves whispered secrets and the branches cradled our dreams.In our world, time seemed to slow down, allowing us to savor every moment. The air was filled with the sweet melodies of nature, and the sunsets painted the sky in hues of orange and pink. Magical fireflies danced around us in the evening, creating a spectacle of light. We had our own secret garden, where flowers bloomed in colors unseen on Earth.Our world had no constraints; it was a canvas of endless possibilities. There, love flowed freely, unburdened by the complexities of the outside world. We could explore the vast landscapes hand in hand, discovering hidden wonders and sharing laughter that echoed through the valleys.The parallel world was a sanctuary of peace and serenity,a place where yesterday & tomorrow never exist, where worries melted away like morning dew under the warm touch of the sun. And as we sat on the branches of our tree house, the gentle rustling of leaves became the comforting backdrop to our whispered promises and shared aspirations.

Every time I looked at my phone when it vibrated, hoping it was him, but nope, it was never him. I knew how someone could come back to an egoistic girl after losing his self-respect only because he wished someday the girl will love him back the way he did.
So, I pretend to be totally fine.
But why, God, did I have this pricking pain in my heart? Literally, I could feel it. Why couldn't I do things I enjoyed once, even before I had him? And my final plea to you, God, why were you giving me hope every second, expecting he would come back, calling my name in the sweetest way no one had ever called me in these past twenty years of life? Maybe God knows this hope is the only fragile ray of light that keeps my life moving, amidst the shadows of uncertainty and heartache.