It's Now Time To Face Reality

Advice to my 15 Year Old Self

Question:

I feel like my new friend group is changing me and I'm not sure if this is who I want to be. If you could advise your 15 year old self in this situation, what would you say to yourself?

Answer:

By no means was I popular in school myself, but I can say I had a fair share of good and bad friends overall. Hopping from social group to social group is completely fine, it's all about finding where you fit in and who you feel comfortable being surrounded by. But being in my twenties now, I look back and wish I could have reasoned with myself more.

I often hear people say problems as a teenager seemed like the end of the world and it honestly seems very belittling. While I do think those problems aren't necessarily as serious in terms of life after high school, I do think it's completely valid to feel like your problems are important and heard of. It's just that problems back then were different, so when I look at myself at 15 as a 23-year-old, I NOW see that my problems as a 23-year-old are much more different. Not necessarily more or less serious or important but different ages, different people and different situations can vary how seriously these problems are impacting your mental health. 

With that being said, I would tell myself to honestly just be who you are. I know it's a pretty over-used statement, but when you finally start feeling like yourself after other milestones in life (university, career, etc.), you will genuinely feel so happy. It took me lots of time to accept who I am, but I'm happy to say I'm there. I would recommend you to find other friends if they are pressuring you into habits or behaviours that you are simply not interested in or you'd deem as "bad".  You have to be the judge of yourself and the situation you are in and convince yourself from a third perspective. I know friends may seem like the most important thing in the world at this age, but trust me, there is more to life than wanting to be socially accepted. 

If your friends simply cannot respect your boundaries and you feel the environment is getting unhealthy, perhaps it's time to distance yourself. It's totally okay to outgrow people, it happens. That's life. 

You should also consider joining teams or clubs in areas that do interest you, if you're interested in art or photography, join the yearbook committee or art club. If you enjoy a specific hobby like poetry or a sport, do not let yourself get in the way of your own happiness. Being anxious is normal, but stopping yourself from enjoying life and making new friends will only make it harder for yourself to progress. 

You've got a whole life ahead of yourself, don't let some friends from high school get in the way of your growth as a human being.

Hope that helps, best of luck with the future!!!