Even If It Hurts

From The Beginning

'I'm doing this for Agust. I have to make things right.'  She shows them further into her one bedroom apartment.

There was a small box and several bags scattered around the apartment. One empty box had been turned upside down to be used as a table. Two empty plates and 2 cups are sitting there as if the table is sat for a meal.

She embarrassingly looks around, "I'm sorry the couch is so small but the only furniture is what was already here. Please have a seat."

Namjoon gestures for the guys to sit and she does the same. Little Agust wraps his arms around her neck, yet not taking his eyes off of them.

"Agust, baby, can you go play in the other room for a little bit?"

He starts to hold tighter to her. She begins to unwrap his arms from around her neck. "You can have a cookie and some milk after I have finished talking to these nice men."

She smiles at him and kisses his cheek. He lets go and before going into the other room he stops by Jimin and holds his hand, "You know where my Sugar is?" he says as he looks trustingly into Jimin's eyes.

Jimin smiles at little Agust, "Yes. I found him and he is safe at our house." He holds both of his little hands in his and says, "I bet he is having cookies and milk right about now too."

Agust smiles happy his Sugar is safe. "He is on a big adventure like me."

Jimin nods at him and then little Agust runs to the other room.

They are all looking directly at her as Jimin says, "He is very cute. How old is he?"

"Thank you, he is five."

Namjoon gets right the point, "Is he Yoongi's?"

She can't look at them so ashamed she had lied to Yoongi. She shakes her head, "No he is not."

She is starting to sweat from fear and her breath feels short. Namjoon has seen this in Jungkook when he was younger. 

"Don't be afraid of us. We won't hurt you. We just want to know why?"

"I will tell you, just please don't let any one take little Agust from me. He is all I have and the only one who has ever loved me unconditionally. I can't bear to lose my son." She wipes a stray tear from her face.

Looking up at Namjoon she says, "Where would you like for me to start?"

Namjoon and J Hope look at each other then Namjoon tells her, "From the beginning."

While she is telling them, Yoongi, was on his way to her apartment at the high rise. 

"I met Yoongi before he was a trainee. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. I loved financial security more. After my parents died and I was left with nothing, I was afraid of ever having to be homeless again. I stayed with him as long as I could hoping his debut would come and he . . ." she sighs out of regret, "I'd hoped he would quickly have an income. I was naïve to the workings of trainees and debuts."

"I didn't want to hurt Yoongi. I did love him but then I met Seok. He was the son of the CEO of the SBT bank. They had multiple homes, businesses and owned several high rise apartments and hotels. He swept me off my feet."

Jungkook agitated says, "You mean Seok's money swept you off your feet."

She sadly nods, "I'm sorry."

Jungkook still angered asks, "You didn't think Yoongi was good enough for you!?"

Tears start silently rolling down her face, "I wasn't good enough for him."

Jungkook is about to say more when Namjoon gives him a look to be silent. He nods to Namjoon, but he was still upset. He was working his bottom lip between his teeth out of ire.

She continues on, "When I met Seok, I left Yoongi. I accepted his quick proposal of marriage. He lived his life as if he was still single while I went to university but he wouldn't marry me. He always had an excuse." She shakes her head casting her eyes downward in shame.

"His father was like a dad to me. As his future daughter in law he fulfilled my dream of going to university. But when I found out I was pregnant with Agust, that was when things changed. Seok was angry and threatened to throw me out. I went to his father and told him that I was expecting his grandchild and his son refused to marry me. He hugged me and cried for me saying he would straighten things out with his son."

She pauses wiping at her eyes, "I found out later though that he had extremely strict expectations for his son. They had a huge argument when Seok still refused to marry me. He was having a relationship with a millionaires' daughter and wanted to marry her as she matched his social status. His dad became livid and disinherited Seok for refusing to marry me, making his first grand child a bastard."

Jimin hands her his handkerchief, "Don't cry, you'll make me cry." Taehyung and Jungkook both nod their heads as they know how compassionate Jimin is. Taehyung says, "And he will too."

With a tearful smile she takes his handkerchief and wipes her eyes. She goes to hand it back and he says with a gentle smile, "You can keep it."

Namjoon looks at them and slightly frustrated for interrupting her. "Please continue. I know there has to be more."