-not anymore- ( Oikawa & Iwaizumi )

~1~

Oikawa Tooru would never admit how broken he is and that he seriously needs help.
He consistently maintains his radiant facade, even lying to his best friend since childhood, not because he wanted to, but out of fear of Iwaizumi's reaction.
They used to talk about people dealing with depression, and Iwaizumi often said he couldn't understand why those people wouldnt seek help and that its their own fault in the end.
Until a certain point, Oikawa believed that too, until it hit him personally.

Oikawa could even conceal the physical pain in his knee through his secret addiction to painkillers, taking daily cocktails of various potent medications, disregarding the side effects. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Oikawa was preparing his morning dose of overly strong painkillers when his phone rang, making him flinch at the voice on the other end.

Oikawa POV:

"Why the hell are you taking so long again, Shittykawa? I've been waiting here for half an eternity," the voice angrily shouted at me.

"Sorry, Iwa-chan, I overslept. But you can come in, you know where the spare key is, don't be so mean," Oikawa replied, feigning offense.

"Fine, but hurry up, Lazykawa!" With that, he finally hung up.

Ah, typical Iwaizumi, always fiery but somehow lovely.
As soon as he hung up, the key turned in the lock, and I heard steps slowly ascending the stairs.

"God, Oikawa, this place looks terrible. When was the last time you cleaned up?" my friend asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm, could you stop criticizing me and say something nice for once, Iwa-chan?" I replied, offended.

"I'll criticize you as much as I want, you idiot," Iwa retorted, lightly hitting the back of my head. As I attempted to stand and retaliate, my pills dropped from my hand.
Luckily, I noticed it quickly and gathered them all up before Iwa could see.

"What are all these pills for? Are you sick?" he asked calmly.

"Uh, yeah, I, uh, have a bit of a sore throat and headache. You know how much I hate getting sick, Iwa-chan," I lied to him.
Sure, I was sick, but not physically.

"If you get sick, I'll hit you, idiot. Take better care of yourself you arent a Baby anymore."

"Don't always be so mean, Iwa-chan!"

"Don't call me Iwa-chan all the time Trashykawa!"

,,Mean Iwa-chan"

I was in the bathroom when Iwa called from downstairs, "Hey, Oikawa, the first class is canceled. Want to grab some breakfast?" I weakly replied, "Yes," and headed downstairs after finishing my hair.

"You barely have anything in the fridge. What do you eat, anyway?" Iwa asked, now slightly concerned.

"Oh, I'm just not very hungry, you know?" I regretted my response; it was feeble and stupid.
Fortunately, Iwaizumi didn't comment.
All I could think about was the fear of him discovering my eating disorder.

Back when my family wasn't so broken, I was often told it would be good if I weighed less.
Those words became increasingly serious for me as I grew older, they were eventually breaking me.

Iwaizumi was a great cook and could turn simple broth and vegetables into a tasty soup.
Soup wasn't scary for me, and I could actually eat some, though half stayed in the bowl.

"What's wrong with you? Normally, you dig in," he remarked, and it stung to hear.
Yes, when Iwa and I or the whole team are eating, I intentionally eat normally, only to later puke everything in the toilet.

I was annoyed that I forgot to stay in character and had to improvise. "I just don't feel well; that's all," another lame excuse from me.

Iwaizumi didn't seem satisfied with my answer but accepted it.
Internally, I found the situation uncomfortable, so I wanted to stand up and leave quickly, but my knee had other plans.
When I put weight on it, my leg gave in, and the pain forced me to the floor.
Don't show any pain, Oikawa, calm down!, I Said to myself
Damn it, I completely forgot to take the painkillers after I dropped them earlier!

"Tooru, are you okay?" Iwaizumi knelt beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
Tooru- he only calls me that if he is really and seriously concerned about me.
"Yeah, my leg just—"

"Is it your knee again? It's still bothering you? You said it was fine, and I believed you. Why are you lying to me, you idiot?" Iwa asked, more concerned than angry.

"I don't know why it's acting up now, Iwa-chan, but my knee is really okay. My leg must have just fallen asleep!" I smiled at him.
After that we walked to school in an awfully awkward silence, I hate that.

Wow, how many times have I lied to my best friend today? I'm so sorry, Hajime...