It's not all roses ~Larry Stylison~

Chapter 24

Liam
"Let me guess, you're talking about Harry?" I ask Niall. "Yes.." Niall says. "Zayn- Zayn has a relapse?" He asks. I nod. "Shit shit shit." Niall curses to himself.

"Fuck, I didn't want to tell you" I blink a few times so the tears don't stream out of my eyes and I can focus on the road again. "Is he- when did he told you?" "When he was drunk in the club, that's why I wanted to leave that fast."  Niall makes an understanding sound.

"Can I help?" Niall asks after a short silence. "I don't know. I don't think so." "Are you sure, because I don't want to to feel fucked up because Zayn's relapsing." "You can't really do anything to it. That's the way I am, that responsibility is just me. Don't worry, I've been through more."

Niall looks at me, and I can feel his worried eyes burn on me. "It's not normal what you went trough Li" he says. "I know, but it's the way it is" I say simple.

"Do you know what could be wrong with Harry?" I try to change the subject. "I don't know." "Maybe he's drugged." I say simple. "I hope not, I hope he's just really drunk." Niall says. "You're not going out when you just drink. There needs to be happening more."

"That's true, we'll find out soon" Niall says, and with that we park in the parking lot of the hospital.

Zayn
Liam and Niall left, to go the the hospital to check on Harry. Liam felt bad for leaving me alone. I promised it would be fine. I just know that he wants to punch himself for leaving me. I'm not fine, I really need to talk. And I want to sleep. But I need to stay up for Louis.

You know, I don't want Liam to feel bad for me, he deals with enough shit, I wish I didn't drunk my feelings away earlier, then I probably didn't tell him.

Why did I even tell Liam that I'm relapsing? I know that he has a hard time himself. Why am I even asking someone for help? I did it on my own earlier, now I can do it again. I know I need to talk, but I don't want to, because it's so fucking hard.

Talking about my feelings, yeah I always sucked at it. I wanna handle it on my own, but handeling it on my own isn't the smartest thing I can to. I'd rather draw my feelings, yeah, draw. I don't know why, but that's easier than talking.

Why don't I do it now? I know that I'm gonna overthink every little shit that I did in the last 10 years if I keep thinking like this. I get a sketchpad and pen. I just draw something. Something that I feel. Sounds weird doesn't it?

I don't even know what I'm drawing, it's just some kind of dark place, that's where my mind is right now, the dark place, let's call it that.

I feel that I'm really tired. A new feeling. I draw it on the paper to. But not just someone sleeping, no it are just some scribbles that doesn't make any sense if you don't know what it needs to be.

You know, it's not a kind of tired where you just need to have one good night of sleep and then it's gone. I have this tiredness for weeks, what, maybe months. And it just doesn't goes away. Fuck I hate it.

Always acting like I slept enough. Always being the normal Zayn. Stop Zayn, stop overthinking.

I really want it to stop, I want it to stop, I want it to stop. I feel my eyes tear up and I stuck my hands in my hair.

I sit like this for a while. Not noticing that I'm crying and that my eyes slowly close untill I fall asleep. I just cried myself to sleep. Again.

"Zayn, Zaynie" I hear, I slowly open my eyes, it's morning again 'cause th sunlight shines in the living room, my head hurts a lot, I groan soft. I remember everything what happened last night, then I look up and see Liam, he smiles soft. "Morning darling."

"Morging." I answer sleepy. "How have you slept?" Liam asks. "Alright, I think." As far as I can be alright I say in my head after that. Shit, I fell asleep on the couch. "I'm sorry I fell asleep, I was just really tired and-" Liam places his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. Louis' still sleeping."

"Where's Haz? How is he?" I ask. "Harry is out of the hospital again, he had a low overdose of drugs in his body, it was probably in drink" Liam says. "Y'sure he's fine?" I ask, Liam nods. "Yeah, and Niall is with him in his room so you can see him later."

"When is later?" I ask. "Probably this afternoon." I look at the time, it's late in the morging. "And how are you Zayn." Liam asks.

-850 words-

We just NEEDED to post something because it's the 28th :)