WARNINGS: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, swearing, breakdowns
PRONOUNS: she/her
RELATIONSHIP: crushes
I TALK: the beginning of this chapter is the reason for most of the warnings. Also I was not mentally doing well when I wrote this so that's why this was even written 😍
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE
1 - 800 - 273 - 8255
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Y/N POV
I sit on the concrete sidewalk, my back pressed against one of the beams of the bridge I'm on. Cars passed me and didn't stop, their lights would blind me for a moment before driving past and going wherever they needed to go. I sat with my knees to my chest as I sobbed, sitting alone in the dark. I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore.
I sniffle and stand up, one of my hands hold the beam I was once sitting against while my other holds the railing in front of me. I stare down at the dark water before squeezing my eyes shut and dropping to the ground again, I sit with my back against the cold railings and look at the road in front of me, seeing different color cars passing.
I take a deep breath and then stand again, gripping the rail with both my hands this time. I lift my foot, placing it on the railing and going to lift my other but my phone ringing in my pocket stops me. I groan and place my feet back on the ground, taking my phone out of my pocket to see Wilbur was calling me.
I answer the call and bring it up to my ear. "Hey, Wil" I greet him, wiping away my tears with my wrist.
"Hey, Y/N!" Wilbur parrots. His voice was so happy it hurt. "Where are you? It's a little loud" He asks me.
"Oh," I glance over my shoulders at the cars passing. "I'm just in bed right now.. but my windows open" I look down at the railing I'm leaning on. I mindlessly pick at the paint. "Why are you calling so late?"
"I woke up from a dream about you and I was upset I couldn't fall back asleep.. so I called you" He chuckles, I would assume out of embarrassment but he felt confident enough to tell me so maybe it was something other than that.
"How charming" I smile, placing my head in one of my hands and rolling my eyes.
"Why are you up?" He continues with the questions. I stare off into the distance as I think of an answer. The silence was loud on his end, so loud that it felt like he could he my thoughts. "Are you sure you aren't outside?"
"No, uh.. yeah I'm sure. I just.. couldn't sleep, so I'm just looking outside my window. The sky is pretty at night" I reply, staring up at the sky. I tear up again, I feel bad lying to him. I feel horrible.
"Oh.." He seems suspicious. "Okay, anyways, since I've called you, I might as well ask if you wanna hang out tomorrow" He offers. I hold in my breath, squeezing my hand around the rail and closing my eyes. It took me a few weeks just to convince myself to stand on this bridge, and tonight I've finally decided to jump.. but now he's stopping me, he's keeping me alive. "Y/N? Did you fall asleep..?"
