Something new I guess?

Info on why I haven't been writing.

Hey guys, I haven't been actually writing anything anymore since I've given up this account to one of my friends that saved me 3 weeks ago. I have been feeling pretty depressed as fuck and the thing is, life isn't that great at all, I've been pretty much talking with Ashley a lot lately and getting some memories back for a small project I've been working on. It's already going great. I haven't continued that project for a weel because of a lot of things currently happening. Going to church by force is also kind of shit. I'm an orthodox, but I am not fully okay with everything since it's pretty homophobic and transphobic in which I am Pansexual and Genderfluid. And trust me, I don't think you'd want your parents to be friends with the priester and for you to see how he acts infront of everyone with his kids. I saw him hitting his own kids, yelling at them and even grabbing his youngest son by the wrists and pushing him outside just because he wanted to hangout with his friends. It's even worse when you know that this man even has my address. I don't like going to church and I only accept only one priester and this priester is in Romania. The one I was talking about right now is in Germany, as how I live in Germany too now. It's hell here. Imagine having almost the whole school against you after only talking ONCE with one of the popular girls and having them start rumors about your trauma just to get hated for well...

(TW: Rape mentioning, a lot of parental abusive too I guess, family member death stuff too I guess, suicide attempt too and probably paranormal stuff too I don't know right now.)
It pretty much happened 3 times by now. At the age of 6 it happened in school because of a seventh grader in which I was a first grader that time. At the age of 11 it happened to be my first ever ex(Alexander) in which when I was at the age of 12 I was forced to date him or he'd kill me, how do I know this? Imagine being threatened more than once with a knife directly pressed against your own neck. And turns out I was dating someone that has been the most toxic and abusive motherfucker. No wonder no one wanted to be with him for how he even acted with his own friends. Anyways, the third time it was this year. A month after my birthday. My insane, possessive and obsessive second ex-boyfriend. He showed up in the parc which is directly behind my house, he fucking found my Snapchat and me, as the dumbass that I was, I still had my location on and for it t show where I was. He knew where I was and literally DARED to show up. Yes, I did get touched in a lot of places and private places even had his fingers you know where. I'm glad he was the only one that didn't have a fucking penis because I would've kicked him there. Although, since he started going to the gym a month before me and him broke up with each other, I was pretty much weaker than him, buy I kinda just stuck my fingers in his eyes and it turns out it kinda worked since I also made his nose start bleeding with a small technique that someone thought me. Although that happened. Now, something else was, also those famous girls spreading rumors over to another school that I had friends in. That bitch went that far into talking even about how my trauma started at the age of like 2 or 3 which was the start of kindergarden or however it's written. Anyways, they told on how I even had my head smashed against the wall over probably by now 50 times, how I get hit badly, get choked till I almost saw the light like five times by now, getting yelled at for no reason, blah blah blah. Fucking things that are starting to become normal in my life right now. And I don't think I'd actually want make a whole ass list again like I did for some people that I see as my father figures, but the one that's on top of everyone is literally my 2 favorite father figures and they are the best. Literally. The thing is, I didn't tell one of my favorite father figures about the whole list, because I didn't wish to worry him even more. Alright. That's it with the angsty shit since I might get even more flashbacks from my brother's death. Yes, my brother died this year, a month before my birthday and on the 11th of August his soon to be supposed son got born and his wife is now all of a sudden acting like a full on bitch. My brother was 29 and he died in a car accident because of another family member that has been extremely distant and had been taking drugs. How did my brother die? That motherfucker had the lights from his car turned off and he was driving in a zigzag type of way and at some point, my brother saw that a car was driving towards him, he didn't even try to save himself because he didn't want to end up having to make a whole other car accident happen, my brother died in a frontal car accident. I'm not going to show any pictures here because it's on the internet too, just search up "Accident Constanta 22 Julie Năvodari Lumina". You might be thinking "Oh but people can survive these!" just like my classmates thought but you guys might know better than them. Some ribs actually broke and got stuck into his lungs and the jugular vein somehow broke on it's own and we got told that he died in five minutes. Now, he wasn't bleeding on the outside, but on the inside. People even tried saving my brother which didn't work since he was bleeding internally and of course you wouldn't cut someone from their chest down to their stomach because usually people die from those things. Now, traditionally, everytime I eat, I can't do that before it's not used with idk what type of "holly" smoke so that, that smoke would go over to the dead family member. Now, I have to wear 40 days only black. Wait. 40 days? Yeah, but now, I'm going to wear 7 YEARS because it takes 7 WHOLE YEARS for the persons spirit to leave this planet fully and for the persons spirit to be in peace. Yeah, I'm also not allowed to cry, neither my mother too. My barely even gives a shit about the fact that my brother died. Literally. Now, let's to the part with Ashley being the friend that had saved me. Wait, but how did they save you? Well easy. I tried to commit suicide by drowning myself. In which I failed since Ashley had kinda went to medical school for kids where kids gotta learn about how to save someone, blah blah blah. I'm making this short, so yeah. I've also been mostly laying in bed, depressed as fuck. I've also been seeing paranormal activity after I kinda used random Satanic shit as a joke and I kinda used an Ouija board as a joke with my friends but now I'm the one seeing paranormal shit and they aren't which is not good now, I think. But it's kinda been the same ever since I was like 5, so yeah, I guess it's normal now. Anyways, let's just get done with all of the angsty shit. (TW: ended)

Anyways yeah, this account pretty much is also controlled by Ashley, so, if there's anything you guys wish to ask please do. I probably might've gotten distracted a lot whilst writing just like I do in real life. I don't know why, but don't ask about it. And I've almost fully forgot. I have a new account, if you wish to follow me, sure, go ahead but I don't think I'll be posting anything on there. Yet. Anyways, have a great day 💅🏳️‍🌈✨✨✨✨✨✨😔👍 don't ask what I'm doing, I'm in a goofy mood right now because of someone that I see as my own child. Anyways...
BYEEEEE.