The Cicada

My Head Hit The Wall BOOM

My head hits the porcelain of the toilet as my vision fades out again. I hear Tord's panicked voice, along with Maisie's and a woman's.

What the hell is going on?

I'm not sure how long I slept for.

I remember occasionally waking up to see Tord and the lady run to my aid to take care of me, then I'd almost instantly pass out.

I look up at the ceiling, blinking tiredly. It looked to be night still through the window. Unless it's another day? How much time has passed? I sit up, looking around, My head hurts a bit less, which is a good upgrade to before. And I feel kinda refreshed? I slowly get up, my body not exactly used to walking. How long was I out?? I walk into the kitchen, my feet softly pattering along the cool tile of the floor. I grab a glass from the drying rack and fill it with water, looking around the kitchen as I tentatively sip at the water.

My gaze falls upon a calendar on the fridge. I look at it carefully. Oh yeah! I forgot it's December! Christmas is soon—that's gonna make finding a place harder. Can't stay in Jon's place anymore since... I put the glass down and brace myself against the counter. Fuck. Fuck I fucking got him KILLED. He's DEAD.

I jump, feeling a hand on my arm. I turn to look at whoever it is, and relax a bit seeing Tord. Well not relax, but it isn't an intruder so I'm not gonna die or anything. Not like Jon.

"You okay? You look som helvete."

I frown, watching him as he goes to make some coffee. "Huh? What do I look like?"

Tord takes two mugs out and eyes me. "Like Hell."

"Gee, thanks."

"Hey. You're gonna stay with us this time, right? If you pass out in here you're gonna hurt your head even more."

I pause. "This time? What do you mean?"

Tord stares at me, watching me carefully. "Do you...not remember?"

"...No...Why did...something happen?"

The way Tord looks at me tells me that something clearly did happen—something I dont remember. "Look if I said anything while I was loopy just...ignore that."

"Well it wasn't anything bad—"

"So what was it?"

"...Oh hey!! Coffee's done! You like the caramel one right?"

"...Yeah. Some cream and two big spoons of sugar."

Tord makes coffee for the two of us, and hands me my cup. "Might as well have the conversation again then. So...It's December."

I sip from my coffee. It tastes perfect. Perfectly warm and delightful. Gosh, it's glorious. "Good coffee. Really good."

Tord smiles at me. His toothy grin is very familiar, and equally comforting. "Thank you. So December is my busiest month."

"Work?"

Tord nodded in response. He drummed his fingers on the countertop. "And that's not factoring in Christmas or parades or gifts..." He mumbled softly to himself, kinda just thinking out loud. It intrigued me. I shifted side to side as I stood, looking around at the house.

"So...what does any of that have to do with me?"

"Well, according to what you said last night, you need a place to stay.  I have a spare room, you'd just need to —"

"Pay bills? Hate to tell you this but my band was my job. It was my source of income! Put food on the table and all of that stuff. I'm not good at like...My last job was fast food. You can imagine how good that went." I ramble, my brain somewhat struggling to piece sentences together. Fucking headache. "Look, it's been great. Really. Thanks for helping me out n' all, but I should get going. I'll find my own way. Maybe be a roadie. That sounds fun."

Tord goes to say something when his kiddo runs into the kitchen. Her name's....Mary? Yeah that sounds right.  "Oh hey Mary."

"...Maisie?"

"Oh, sorry kiddo. How are you?"

"I'm good!! Pa I brushed my teeth!!" She chirped excitedly.

I grinned. "All ready for bed?"

She laughed, smiling at me. "No silly!! It's good morning time!"

I turn to look at the windows. Curtains??? I open the curtains and physically recoil at the light. I quickly shut them and rub my eyes. My stomach growls sharply, aching in my abdomen. When have I eaten last?

Tord snickered lightly, picking up Maisie and sitting her on his hip. "I figured you'd want it to be dark so you can sleep."

"Dark...Dark is good." I hum in acknowledgment, bracing myself against the countertop. I look down at the cool, granite countertop, zoning out as Tord and Maisie spoke to one another. "So," I swallowed, interrupting the two. "What's my side of the bargain? If I stay here, you obviously want something.

Tord smiled. "Babysitting. "

"So you got a new job? What's it now?" I asked, opening a can of coke.

Jon smiled. "Babysitting! I watch my nieces and nephews a lot, and my sister put in good word for me. All these rich folk are paying a LOT for me to watch their kids. It's fun!"

I smile. "I'm proud of ya, Jon. You deserve that nice job."

Jon smiles at me.

A gunshot.

He lays limp in front of me, blood gushing from his head.

I stare at the counter, my breath a bit heavy. I shake my head, trying to get that awful image out of my head. "Baby- Babysitting? So like watching Maisie all day?"

"...Yes. For a bit." Tord puts Maisie down and tells her to head up to her room. She runs upstairs and Tord steps closer to me, his footsteps light against the cool floor. "Tom...? Are you okay?"

I pant, shaking my head. "What- Is it hot in here?" Sweat pools on my forehead. I pant, my chest heaving. "It's hot- why is it so hot?" I pant, my head feels so full. Static runs in my ears, I can barely focus on anything. I rest my head on the counter, and feel Tord's gentle hand rub my back.

"Tom? Thomas, listen to me, okay? Listen to my voice." His voice is soft, a mere whisper. I take a deep breath, my voice shaky. I look at Tord for a moment, seeing his eyes meet mine. He looks so sad. So...empathetic. Like he knows what's going on, and he feels awful that it's happening. I choke out a sob, looking away from him.

Tord rubs my back. "Thomas, Tom breathe. You're here, you're okay. Feel the counter, the floor. You're in my kitchen, alright? You're safe." He said 'safe' like it was a holy word, almost sacred. 

I continued breathing, slowly standing up straighter as I gripped the counter. I turned to Tord, my eyes meeting his once more. Tord sighed, looking at me. "You don't have to tell me what happened, alright? It's...badly recent." He cursed under his breath, mumbling something in Norwegen. He shook his head, backing away from me. He grabbed his coffee cup. "If I were you, I'd accept my offer. It's easy for you, there isn't even any payment needed on your part. There's really just one thing to do, watch Maisie—of course—and keep the house clean."

I shook my head, still trying to catch my bearings. "...That's two things."

Tord scoffed lighting, rolling his eyes. "We're going out for breakfast, get dressed."

"Breakfast? Where?"

"Nowhere fancy." Tord shrugged then moved to head upstairs. I called after him, making his pause before he turned to face me. His eyes seemed to be annoyed, yet his face also spoke of sadness.

"I accept. Your offer, I mean."

Tord smiled lightly. "Good. Now c'mon. We leave in 15 minutes."

____________

i'm so bad at writing slow burn fics grgrgrgrgrgrgr

i have no motivation to write anymore im just always on c.ai good god