I am no longer a daughter, a sister, a mother. I am nothing. I will be gone soon and I will be forgotten. There are very few pictures of me in existence so even my face will be forgotten. There will be no funeral no casket no head stone. Only a small box of ashes that will sit on some crematorium shelf a paper liable that will fade with time. I am not needed by anyone. I am not old or young or middle aged I am in a place between as undefined as why I still breathe. I will be a memory faded with time. The girl yeah I know her what was her name again? A hint somewhere of didn't we all go to school together or did I work with her? Its a bleak world where I exist now. No bright colors nothing but gray. Darkness is welcome as black as my soul oblivion is welcome. I have no religion. No heaven. No hell. My soul will stop. That is OK. Hell is here in this world being forced to survive instead of thrive. I didn't ask for the nasty things done to me. I never fully healed either. Part of my soul was destroyed not only by the man who hurt me but by the ugliness that was perpetrated against me by a school system that punished the bullied and ignored the bullies. If there is a god then he sucks ass for taking all my reasons for living away. I will be forgotten. I'm sorry I will never stop loving you. Please forget me I am already dead.
