I know I shouldn't, and yet I must
It's just that I am filled with lust
A horrible thing, a deadly sin
And every time I try to fight it, I do not win
I suppose I should accept it's who I am
Ignore what everyone says like I don't give a damn
But I do.
Everyone watches me, silently judging
But their stares get louder, prodding, nudging
Push- that's what I feel, just a push
All the dreadful feelings coming- an ambush
Deeper, deeper down my happiness goes
I know I shouldn't feel these agonizing blows
But I do.
Drowning, burning, buried in the lies
Slowly dying, I'm cutting all of the ties
I cannot escape who I really am, I've tried
But every time I think it's over, it only dried-
The tears keep coming, pouring, urges still appear
I know I shouldn't give in to this fear
But I do.
Smiling, laughing, enjoying my life
It's what I pretend to do to avoid showing strife
Nobody understands what it's like
To have your whole being impaled on a pike
Fighting, grasping, clutching for air
Reaching for someone, but no one is there
But I do.
Cutting, spiraling, falling in love
We are all guilty of at least one of the above
But what if I was guilty of all, dragging myself deeper down
Would anyone be there, watching, smiling as I drown
I think there would, someone, a love of sort
No one would know the role they played in my last resort
But I do.
