my dilemma (that is you) [🥞🎀]

i'm having a hard time deciding

Akito walks to school earlier than usual today. His face gets poked by the cold air - his eyes feeling dry, his nose red, and his throat pricking every time he breathes. He wouldn't have had to come so early if it hadn't been that he, well, wanted to give a letter to someone without being caught.

Part of him regrets all of this, wants to go back into his warm bed and curl up into a ball with blankets covering every inch of his body until his normal alarm rings.

But the other part argues that he's been planning on doing this for a while, so might as well do it before his school goes on break because if he does it after he'll have to see them and their reaction, right? And, personally? he isn't necessarily ready to face the object of his attraction, watching their face morph in disgust when they read the note.

Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't do this.

Then again, An had literally given him an hour long pep talk - so maybe he should just do it for her.

Firm hands grip Akito's shoulders, shaking him lightly. His head fails back and forth as An keeps up with the motion. "Akito, listen to me. It's going to feel so good to get all of that off your chest. You've already written the note, yeah?"

"Yeah," The ginger sighs, taking a moment to reel in back to reality after An had stopped shaking him. It feels like everything is spinning. "But, it doesn't feel - I don't know, good enough, I guess? Like, what if they-"

An starts to shake Akito again. The other mutters a quiet "stop," and she does so, although with a condescending sigh.

"Dude, stop overthinking this. It sounds like the world is going to end if you just give them the letter."

A harsh breath of air escapes Akito's lips, face looking up at the ceiling of the Crase Cafe - debating on counting the amount of dots he can see scattered around the concrete - but a cough from An quickly smashes his way of avoiding an answer. He looks back at her, who is glaring back. Akito gets out another sigh.

"Because it is," He whispers as his eyes trail away from An's face.

"It is not."

Eyes snapping back to the girl, he scrunches up his face and - all while trying not to sound incredibly angry - bites back. "Well, it feels like it!"

An shakes her head, releasing her death grip on the taller's shoulders. She juts out her bottom lip, crossing her arms and leaning her head to the side. "Yeah, but guess what, it isn't. Look, I felt the same way when I confessed to Kohane-"

"Kohane was obviously into you too."

The shorter one shoots Akito a glare. He raises his hands in mock defeat, raising his eyebrows with a smug smile. "...anyways," An continues, "It's not going to end your friendship with them, Akito. If anything, they might just play it off as a joke."

"God, I think that'd be worse than an outright rejection."

A huff of laughter escapes the others throat, lifting a hand to pat Akito's shoulders. She shakes her head, eyes looking up at him with something that screams pity. Akito wants to flatten that emotion in her eyes right at this moment. Or maybe even An herself.

"C'mon, Akito. It doesn't hurt to try, you know?"

"...doesn't hurt to try," An had said so carelessly. It probably doesn't help that he's now standing directly in front of Mizuki's locker - his heart pounding furiously against his ribs. He bites his lip, eyes peering from the letter - crumpled in his hand from the amount of pressure he's putting onto the edge - to the object he's supposed to put said letter in. Akito presses his lips into a thin line before promptly slamming his head onto the wall of lockers.