Cool Cool Grass

1

I had a feeling tonight wouldn't go well. I stood near the back of the room, making sure I could see the door AND Tom. I preferred to be able to see my entire surrounding as well as any exits in order to plan ahead. You never know when you will have to make a quick escape. And tonight it looked like Tom and I might have to make a quick escape in order to exert some damage control at the rate he was going. Luke had warned me when I drew the short straw for "Tom Detail" tonight that we might have to do just that.

Tom had been abstaining from certain foods and all alcohol for a role that had just ended. He had certainly leaned out, not that he really had any weight to lose. He almost looked a little TOO thin, but then that's what happens with little coffee, no wine, none of his beloved Jameson. A period of no caffeine and alcohol made Tom a very....tipsy boy tonight. Oh Lord. Luke so had it coming after this.

It was only a local London movie premiere, and as such, was supposed to be a simple detail. Simple enough that I figured Luke could babysit Tom tonight. Luke thought otherwise. So here I was, at an after party populated by the Who's Who of London theatre and cinema, people I didn't brush elbows with if I could help it, keeping an eye on Mr. Lightweight-After-Not Imbibing-Or-Even-Eating-Much. It's a good thing I got paid well.

I sipped at my glass of diet coke on the rocks and watched Benedict Cumberbatch head my way. He sidled up next to me, and stood like me, back to the wall, watching the action in the rest of the room. "Tierney, it might be time to make as quiet and quick of an exit as you can," he leaned down and whispered into my right ear, his breath ghosting over my cheek. "He's starting to get sloppy, incredibly sloppy." Sure enough, Tom proceeded to spill his glass of Jameson all over the woman to his right while he gesticulated wildly during the telling of some story. The man could not NOT talk with his hands. So often, I just wanted to tie his hands behind his back and see if he could possibly even talk. My money was on no. Oh, and one day, I would do it. "I'll give you a hand to get him out of here discretely....well as discretely as possible at this point, and then I think I'll leave you to him."

"You'll leave me to him? Is he that bad of a drunk?" I glanced up at Ben towering over me. "Why is everyone so eager to hand him over to me and be out of the picture tonight?" I didn't get it. His closest friends wanted nothing to do with Drunk Hiddleston it seemed.

"Oh you'll find out," Ben giggled mischievously. I glanced up at him nervously and saw him turn his head away and giggle. Oh joy. This was going to be fun. "He tends to become a bit of an amorous drunk, love."

"Oh, excellent. I doubt I will have to worry about it much." I was just his security detail, disguised as Luke's assistant. It's not like he and I were really friends, let alone attracted to each other. Ok, fine, so I didn't say he wasn't attractive, I just said that we weren't attracted to each other. But yes, the man is a sight to behold just out of bed in the morning, hair all askew. I only know from having to make sure he was awake in the morning while traveling. I swear, that's it.

"Oh, don't be so sure of it." Ben said, giggling yet again, putting his hand over his mouth.

"Is there something you're NOT telling me, Ben? Something I need to know? I tell you I can handle the string bean, no problem. Even when drunk. ESPECIALLY when drunk."

"Just please promise me you won't kill him with your bare hands? Please? He is my friend after all."

"Only for you, Ben. Only for you." I winked. Ben chuckled.

As we got close to the small circle of people that Tom was chatting with, he spilled his drink yet again on the poor woman next to him, only this time he decided that he needed to help her wipe off what he had spilled on her. He was wildly groping her ample breasts with his hand, not exactly realizing that he was NOT helping the situation at all.