You Can Have My Heart (Oli Sykes Fan Fic) COMPLETE

Pride

After the AMA's, Oli and I were a hot topic of conversation on all of the gossip blogs and websites and as much as I hated the attention, I also kind of loved the way people had reacted toward Oli. I liked that people said he was 'smitten' and referred to us as a 'cute' or 'hot' couple. Luiz was naturally excited that everything had gone as well as it did too, and he was impressed by Oli's romantic gesture on the red carpet that; unbeknownst to him, drew even more attention to us.

I was sad that Oli had to leave LA so soon, but he was due back in England to rehearse for the final Sempiternal show; the one in the church. I would have loved to be going with him, but I had commitments of my own; a four-day, whirlwind tour of the country promoting the lingerie brand's fashion show, and then a watching party in New York the night it aired on December 2nd. I was then flying directly to Paris to meet with the French Fashion Federation, to have the re-scheduled meeting they'd requested, and then finally, on December 4th, I would fly to London to finally reunite with Oli, the rest of the band and the girls. I had a really busy week ahead of me, but there were some really big moments that I couldn't wait for, not only for me, but for Oli too with his final show in London.

I hated saying goodbye to Oli, but I knew it was always going to be part of our relationship and I hoped that over time it would get easier, or at least feel a little more familiar. His flight was at 2pm, so he headed for the airport after breakfast and he called me after he'd cleared immigration to let me know that he'd been papped on his way in. "Oh my God. You're such a celebrity!" I joked. He was clearly very amused.
"Might be a case of 'celebrity by association' I think, but I'll take it." he chuckled. I loved Oli so much, I really, really did. He was like my best friend as well as my lover.
"Oli..." I said before he hung up. "I really, really love you." I told him happily.
"So you should." he stated before chuckling at himself. "Nah, I really love you too. More than I can ever possibly tell you." he said. Aww.

Oli messaged me once he'd arrived back in Sheffield, but I didn't get his message until the morning since he'd messaged late. It was my first day of the fashion show promotional tour so I was heading to the Roosevelt hotel on Hollywood Boulevard for hair and makeup, then across the street to the brand's store at Hollywood & Highland. We had press coming and were doing an informal photoshoot as well as a meet and greet with the public. It was exciting seeing as I was never meant to be part of the meeting fans, only the photos, but now I guess I was popular enough that they were including me in that side of things too. I liked meeting people, so I was happy to be involved. There were 18 of us doing the opening event, then we branched off into groups to travel to different cities for meet and greets across the country, before all ending up in New York for the final events, on the day of the runway show airing on TV. It still felt so surreal when so many people turned up to see us, but it was overwhelming how many people now knew who I was. People brought me gifts and wanted to talk to me, and I'd never had so many people tell me that they love or adore me. It was actually quite overwhelming. At the first meet and greet in London, I didn't get that kind of attention at all - now I was getting just as much as the supermodels, if not more. It was absolutely crazy how different things were to a month ago.

After the LA commitments, I was whisked off in a helicopter with 2 other models down to San Diego for another meet and greet before heading back to LA for the night, ready for a repeat the following day. I flew to Phoenix then Houston the next day, then Chicago and Philadelphia the next before arriving in New York that same night, ready for the last press day which coincidentally was also the day Oli was arriving in London ahead of the show in two days time. I missed him but I was so busy that we didn't even talk much. I was counting down the days though and he was sending me messages every night telling me how many sleeps until we were together again. He was so sweet. I had to be up really early to do an interview on 'Good Morning America' with two other uber-famous models, having to be on set at 7am - and that's after hair and makeup! Ouch. At least I had Luiz with me again once I was in NYC. He hadn't been with me since I left LA and I missed him keeping me on schedule! After the morning show, it was then off to the final press event at the Fifth Avenue store before retreating to my hotel room and relaxing for a couple of hours before hitting up the watching party event - to actually see the first runway show I was a part of. My personal styling team arrived at 3pm and made me look less tired than I was, and I was out the door again at 5:45pm to the final event for the week. I was honestly relieved that it was almost over.

The pink carpet for our event was just as crazy as the AMA's, and the celebrity attendees almost outnumbered the amount at the awards show too. Actors, musicians, socialites - they were all there. Oli messaged me to tell me that he was with everyone and that they were streaming the show live; that they were all at the apartment and had it on the TV, despite it starting at 1am and going until almost 3! I loved how much effort he made for me, how excited he was for my achievements... I swear, nobody had ever been as invested in me as he was. As the show started, I felt excited but also a little embarrassed whenever I was on screen in the backstage, pre-show part of the show, but at least I looked good, lol. I couldn't deny that! Oli messaged with a little mind-blown emoji straight away and I smiled to myself. He was hilarious.

I watched the broadcast in awe, but I knew when I was about to hit the runway for the first time and I had butterflies in my stomach. I also felt kind of emotional remembering how that moment had been during the first recording and how overwhelming it was. As my walk happened on screen, I quickly realised they hadn't used the second recording of my walk, they used the first one - the one where people stood up and cheered for me, the one where I had tears in my eyes because I was overwhelmed, the one where Oli was watching on and absolutely beaming at me. The other models reached over and grabbed my arm because honestly, it was VERY obvious that I was almost crying in the footage, and then they showed it; they showed Oli. The entire theatre-sized screen in front of me and all of the other people in that room just showed Oli; clapping, cheering, beaming his fucking gorgeous smile at me like he was so happy. "Aww." I heard around me from the other girls. I wasn't upset, but I cried. I couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to. Oli had showed the entire fucking world how much he loved me in that moment and not only that, but that he was proud of me. Nobody had ever looked at me the way I had just witnessed Oli looking at me and I could actually feel my heart in my chest. I looked over to find Luiz who was sitting across the room and he just smiled at me as he put his hands over his heart. I honestly felt like mine was going to explode.

I didn't want to miss the show, but I excused myself for just a second and I messaged Oli - who had already sent me laughing faces and hearts.

"I hope you're not embarrassed..." I messaged. He replied straight away.
"Are you kidding? I'm so fucking proud of you. You're perfect." he'd said. He always made me feel so good.
"I love you so much. Thank you for loving me." I replied without even thinking.
"What? Thank YOU for loving ME!!!!!!!!!!!" he sent back. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, always will be." he then said followed by a whole line of hearts. He was going to make me cry. Again.
"You're going to make me cry, lol." I replied.
"Don't be silly, just enjoy your party and be proud of yourself." he typed.
"OK. I'll call you tomorrow when I get up since it will be too late when I get home." I said.
"OK baby. I love you. You're amazing." he sent.
"I love you too. Enjoy the show x" I replied.

I went back and watched the rest of the show with the warmest, fuzziest feeling inside me. The way Oli treated me was so different to how anyone else ever had, like I was incredible and amazing as a person rather than just 'pretty'. Knowing he was proud of me made me feel really fucking proud of myself too to be honest. I had come a really long way since I'd met Oli at Reading festival, but I was proud of us as a whole; for both getting to where we were in life. I loved being with Oli in that good place, so now that we were there and we were there together, I had no intention of ever leaving and I hoped he didn't either.