Our Fallout: A Second Chance

Twenty One

Chapter 21:
A night to forget

I clenched my fist trying to get a grip of myself. Whatever's happening between us shouldn't happen. I should just focus on our mission instead.

Focus, Kirsten...

I took a deep breath to calm myself a bit.

"Kirsten, relax..." hindi ko nakayanan ng ikwento ko kay Sam. She's been my podcast, someone who listens to me about Aaliyah most especially when I can't control it anymore.

"You can't just keep running away. You need to confront her. And the way she's been leading you on..? The only way for this is to sit down with it and talk with her." umiling ako sakanya.

I can't do that.

"Talking this shit out maybe the end of us— I can't risk that, Sam. I can't fucking risk the decade of our friendship just because she was leading me into something I'm not even sure about." diing sabi ko.

I can feel my eyes getting heavy.

"Are you sure about that? pwedeng ito na nga ang katapusan pero pwedeng ito din ang simula. You see she won't lead you into something if she doesn't have any— just fucking any pints of feelings for you." titigan ko siya ng seryoso.

That's it!

"And that's one of the reasons I can't risk it. It's either all in or all out. I can't risk someone's fucking not sure about us while I give her a complete hundred percent of love. That's not how it works, Sam." I said with frustration when I felt warm tears in my face.

I quickly wiped it out.

Damn this tears.

Bullshit!

"Even just a pint is the start of something bigger. A regret of not trying is the worst kind of what if that'll hunt you forever." napatahimik ako sa sinabi niya.

I know I am being coward right now but I'd rather have her in my arms forever than have her in my lips for a moment.

I can't keep engaging with her confusion, experiment or what. I'll just keep stepping back away from her.

"And there you are... Wow!" when Isla suddenly appeared. Pareho naming inayos ang sarili namin. Nandito kasi kami ngayon sa open parking lot malapit sa kotse ni Sam.

"You look... different, Kirsten." she said while checking me out. "Deadly gorgeous." I quickly gave her a smile so she won't notice the intense atmosphere between me and Sam.

"Thank you." kunwaring nahihiyang sabi ko.

"Jasmine asked me. She thinks you two aren't real but she just can't point out the reason why so it's better to stay away from our table tonight and be extra sweet to each other. Anyway don't forget to have fun! This night is our night." and she tapped my shoulder as she went inside the club.

"Tara?" pag aya niya sa akin at tumango ako saka ko inabot ang kaman niya.

Just this night.

Just this night, I wanna forget about Aaliyah.

I lead her into the counter to get our shots. Yes, I badly need this right now. I am not into alcohol but somehow I wanna get drown myself with pure pleasure and happiness.

"Hey..." when she held my hand to stop me from drinking. This is supposed to be my fourth shot. "Let's take it slow. We're here to have fun not get drunk." ngiti niya sa akin at binaba ang glass ko.

"Have fun and get drunk! That's it. Where's the fun if you remember everything that will happen tonight?" I said as if I'm challenging her. Tumango naman siya at pinaanod ako sa dance floor kung saan punong puno ang tao.