VALOR

FOUR

"Everything okay, Viv? You just seem a little quiet. Is the pineapple just not doing it today?"

I look up from stirring my soda with the straw, watching Ethan's expression move from teasing to genuine concern. "Pineapple always does it, so don't even. Try not to choke on your pepperoni out of jealousy." We share a smile, then I address his actual question. "I'm okay."

He nods, eyes scanning the restaurant. "I'm glad. Yesterday was definitely insane, and you haven't really seemed normal since."

Inwardly wincing, I remember how I'd gasped when I'd seen the door of room 3R completely repaired—no cracks, no splinters, as if the most terrifying four minutes of my life (that I can remember at least) never happened.

I'm definitely hallucinating. There is no way that I completely destroyed a solid wood door with just my thoughts anyways. The message isn't even on my phone anymore—there's no evidence that any of this ever happened!

It's just like when I was found. There's nothing to prove I'm telling the truth.

Not that I would tell the truth to anyone because they'd think I'm losing it.

I remember reading that hallucinations can be caused by stress or trauma, which I definitely have, but the anxiety was caused by this insane situation, not the other way around.

I growl, dragging a hand through my hair and hoping Ethan doesn't notice my stress.

The final hint had already been ingrained in my memory. You are healed when you realize you are hurt. What did it mean? Maybe that good things aren't realized until they are taken away? Is it less cryptic than that? I sigh, not even realizing that Ethan is uncharacteristically silent.

"I was wondering . . . if we could maybe pick up our conversation that we, you know, paused a while ago?"

I knew this was coming. I play it cool—or maybe dumb, I'm not sure at this point. "You mean about what happened yesterday?"

He coughs, and I instantly feel guilty for making him more awkward. "Um, no, about . . . like, us. From a year ago."

"Oh, yeah."

There's silence, one that stings but I really don't feel like breaking. As much as this feels like giving up my freedom and independence, it's also Ethan. He's the only person I trust and he's always been there for me. If I'm being honest with myself, I've been pretty selfish with the way I've been treating him.

I study him, watching the way he's looking at me but not looking at me. He wants a second chance, and he deserves it more than I do. Maybe this would work? I'm not ready for this, but I'm never ready for anything. And I refuse to give myself a choice.

"Yeah, I think we should discuss it."

He gives me a grateful smile, and I return it. I know that we need each other. I know that Ethan wants more than just this. And I know this is the right thing to do— forget freaky past lives.

So why do I feel like I'm back in that closet?

-----

Once I get home, I turn on the tv and select a random cooking channel. It suddenly feels weird for the apartment to be quiet, even though I know it's all in my mind.

I know that today was a turning point. There's someone out there who knows enough about me to make contact, but they obviously are taking precautions to not be discovered. Whoever it is, they want something from me, but they're willing to dispose of me if they can't get what they need.

So at this point, I need to figure out what's going on. That means possibly accepting that everything insane happened.

I mean, I crushed a door with my emotions today. This is insane. I need to do something to prevent losing my mind more than I already have.