A Love Lost

I used to think that love isn't for everyone. May mga tao lang talagang pinalad na makatanggap nito. Hindi yung klase ng pagmamahal na galing sa magulang, kapatid, at kaibigan. What I meant is the kind of love, where you spend your whole life with your soulmate. A very special and pure love you can feel from someone you will end up with. Yung makakasama mo hanggang sa iyong huling hininga.

I was bitter. Minsan naiinggit. Napapa-isip na lang ako na "What is it felt like to be loved and cared by someone who loves you?"

I am not unattractive masasabi natin na simple lang na sa tingin ko ay totally unfit mahalin unconditionally.

Until he walked right through that door. Now, I am something more than I ever imagined. It was in my senior year in highschool nang makilala ko siya. I have met him dahil bagong lipat siya sa apartment na tinitirhan ko and unexpectedly, magka-klase pa kami.

He's handsome. Tipong lahat ng madadaanan niyang mga tao-babae man o lalaki- napapalingon sa kaniya. He is the kind of guy that every man envies yet he is not an asshole or jerk like in the movies when the protagonist is a popular guy. He is far more different from others.

There's this once na kinausap niya ako. After our class in the afternoon, naka-gawian kong mag-palipas ng oras sa isang coffee shop. I spend my time there studying or reading some books for fun. He suddenly approached me and asked me if I'm a fan of John Green too.

I WAS busy reading a book from my favorite author and just on cue, I was interrupted by a man's distinct move from my peripheral vision.

"Hi,"he gently said.

I was totaly shocked when I saw a familiar figure standing in front of me. Si Jiro, kapit-bahay slash kaklase slash crush ko. Nakangiti ito sa akin ng malapad, agad namang nagwala ang puso ko. I was breathing uncontrollably and words are getting hard for me to speak. This is so not me.

"Mind if I sit here?" He gently asked.

Bangag akong tumango. He smiled and then sit in front of me. Nilapag niya rin sa lamesa ang dala-dala niyang libro. I focused more on what I was doing. Ngunit ayaw talaga makisama ng puso ko. Ang bilis ng tibok eh.

"The Fault in Our Stars? Do you read John Green's too?" He suddenly spat out.

Nahimig-migan ko pa ang excitement nung sinabi niya yung John Green.

"Oo, i-ikaw rin?"

His smile went wider. Hindi ko gawang titigan siya dahil sa takot na baka makuryente ng tingin niya.

"Yes, I am a fan of his too. Actually, ilang beses ko na yan nabasa ng paulit-ulit." Sambit niya.

"Talaga? Hindi ka ba nagsasawa?"

"Hindi, as in. Hindi nakakasawa ang mga ganitong libro. Hanggang ngayon nga naiiyak pa rin ako."

I'm glad when I heard that we had the same interest in books. Kahit dito man lang ay may pagkakapareho din kami. Palagi kong hinihiling noon na sana ay mapansin niya ako pero tingnan mo, natupad naman.

Naging mabilis ang paglipas ng oras dahil kasama ko si Jiro. Marami rin akong natutunan tungkol sa kaniya. Hindi namin namalayan ang oras at madilim na pala.

"Hey, thanks for keeping me company." Saad nito.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at tumango. "Naku, wala 'yon. Salamat din."

Kahit matagal kaming nag usap kanina hindi pa rin mawawala ang hiya ko sa kaniya.

Nginitian niya rin ako bilang ganti. Sinukbit na nito ang dala-dalang bag at libro. Nagtama ang mga mata naming dalawa. Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko. The butterflies on my stomach went wild.