Humans and Gods.

"If you love him, let him go." The words echoed through the battlefield, Apollo seemed rather... unfocused and lost in thought as Hades spoke. "I loved him. He can't be gone... why.. why must he go?" Apollo held the dead body tighter, blood smearing his hands and clothes. "Humans are not forever. They must die." The elder Olympian answered. His heart ached for the younger one. Despite being the god of the underworld for millenias, it never got any easier. He placed his hand on Apollo's shoulder in a weak attempt at comfort.

"Adonis can't go.. no.. he can't.. I'm sorry, Adonis. I should've done more.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." He repeated his mantra, tears dripping down his face. The droplets fell on Adonis's lifeless, cold, body. And Apollo cried and cried, his bloodied hands stroking his dead lovers cheek in the desert full of weapons and other dead bodies but those of soldiers.

"ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴍᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴀʀʀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ."

The words yelled in Apollo's mind. Repeating over and over what his lover used to say. "Apollo, I know this hurts, but.. he must go." Hades deep voice broke through his thoughts. "Not yet.." He sniffled. "Apollo. I hate to do this but I must." Hades knelt down, gently picking up and the body out of Apollo's arms. "No! Not yet! Please! Just one last time.. just one last time.." He cried out, falling on his knees, sorrow falling onto the dry ground, his tears obscured his vision. He crawled after Hades, but he was already gone.

Adonis was gone.

His voice filled the empty patch of land, he sat there on his knees, rethinking it all, crying, screaming,

wailing.

If only he came a moment earlier.
If only he just wasn't a fucking idiot.

"I will always love you." He whispered, his voice hoarse. And maybe for once, even the sun seemed to pity him, maybe it was something but for the rest of that day; the sun never shone as brightly as it did. His fingernails dug into the ground, heart beating against his ribcage and full of sorrow. "Why.. why must it be him?" He cried, falling onto the ground. He cried and cried, until there was nothing left in him. Nothing at all. Only sorrow and numbness.

His lover, his ray of sunshine, his everything..

Was gone.

And he could do nothing but sit there and watch the kindest person he ever met, lose their life and never be able to get the praise and validation they deserved and have to come to terms with the fact that,
He must be alive.
And Adonis never will be again.

~×~×~×~×

Life continued. The sun rose and set, the moon rose and set, plants died and grew, birds sung.

It's unfair. When it seems that your life has stopped and has halted, no one else's does. Their life moves on, your's stops.

Many centuries later, Apollo found himself standing with his crush by the grave of said crushes mother. Coincidentally, also the ground where Adonis was buried.

The sound of the pitter patter of rain was the only thing to be heard besides his crushes voice.

Indeed the day was a gloomy one, not only was it cloudy and rainy but it was the day that Adonis died aswell.

Apollo gripped the charm on his necklace, the favourite symbol of Adonis, the sun.

"I always believe that the living carried the regrets of the dead... it's true." Adrian sighed. Hearing those words, Apollo, ahem, ahem. I mean, Aidan's eyes widened at those words. He snapped his head towards the shorter boy, his expression one of shock and confusion. Those words hurt like a fuck ton of bricks. "I wish it were sunny today, the rain just makes this day worse.." He sighed, chuckling softly, a soft smile playing at his lips.

Adrian grinned. Apollo— Aidan's eyes welled up with tears as Adrian's grinned grew wider. The sound of the rain got louder, lightening ran through the clouds, thunder shook. Zeus, his father was clearly angry.

Nothing stopped him from pulling Adrian into a hug. "What's gotten into you, sunny?" Adrian chuckled, his laughter just like Adonis's. Just like his sunshines, the nickname just like Adonis's. "I'm so sorry.." Aidan murmured, tears threatening to spill. "For what?" He chuckled. Aidan mumbled somethings under his breath, even more muffled by the fact he stuffed his face into the crook of Adrian's neck, words never to be known again. "What are you on about.." Adrian softly chuckled, stroking Aidan's hair.

"I love you." Was the only thing Aidan could say at that time.

~×~×~×~×

After that day they were happy. They dated for a year, they loved each other dearly. They even got engaged.

Now, Apollo wondered again, if only he was a moment earlier.

His Adrian, his sunshine, wouldn't be in his arms again, lifeless.

His beautiful smile gone forever, his chaste kisses gone, his little goodnight texts gone. Everything.

Gone.

Blood trickled out of the large gash on Adrian's abdomen, staining Apollo's clothes and hands all over again.

If only he just wasn't a fucking idiot.

All over again. It happened all over again.

"Why must the living bare the regrets and pain of the dead?" He held Adrian tighter, refusing to let him go. 

He kissed his forehead, his skin cold unlike his past warm skin. Tears fell down all over again.

"I'm sorry." Hades knelt down beside him, offering his hand. "Why? Why? I loved him! I loved him so much! Why am I such an idiot? WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME ABOUT HOW HE FELT!? WHY!? I COULD'VE HELPED!" He wailed, falling in Hades's embrace. Tears ran down uncontrollably as he gently layed down the body on his lap, not caring about the blood that's staining his clothes.

"Not him.. not him too now..." His breath was shaky, voice raw and eyes red from crying. More and more tears dripped down his face, falling and splattering on Adrian's blood stained clothes and the cold white and blood soaked marble tiling of Adrian's apartment. "Why must he go too? Wasn't so many more dead lovers enough? Why must they all die? Why must I watch them die?" He breathed out, stroking Adrian's cheek and then his arm.

"That's just how humans and gods are. Grieve and reflect, for even gods are not immune to the ache of love lost." Hades sighed, patting the younger ones head. The rain outside the apartment grew louder and louder, lightening shook.

Apollo always hated rain.

"I hate being immortal. Why must all the greatest people I've ever known die? Hades he- he was so much like Adonis! I- I- did so much to try and keep them alive! All of them not just Adrian and Adonis! Even with Naomi, Adeline, Onyx.. so many.. even with  I tried so hard. I'm always too late! I helped! I try so hard! They always die! Right in my arms! I try so hard! So, so, so hard! I'm such a fucking idiot.." He cried out, reaching out for Adrian's bitterly chilled hand.

"Youngling you are not." Hades protested.

"I am. I even- I even lost Hyacinthus."

"Listen to me. It was never your fault."

"It is."

"Never was, never will be."

To Apollo, it always seemed like he was the one who would always lose everyone and everything no matter what he did. "I planned to marry him, Hades. We were betrothed. Just a month away from the big day." His fingers trailed to the thin, gold band ring on Adrian's ring finger, now covered in half dried blood. "I'm sure it would've been beautiful." Hades smiled ever so softly. For a man who instilled fear in everyone and was known to never smile, this certainly was a very big accomplishment.

"I'll love you forever. I'm sorry I wasn't good or quick enough... I'm sorry." The god of the sun's thumb trailed over Adrian's cold, pale blue lips, as if afraid to even taint him.

"Forever." He whispered.