My deepest apologies. I regret the delay in updating this story due to a period of intense busyness. Circumstances arose where my russian significant other, an alpha male dominant individual with abilities to hack into stuff (idk), disclosed private information about me (doxxed), making me want to retreat into the woods for peace (or smth). Unfortunately, this venture resulted in a fractured knee, compelling me to crawl home with one foot while the other foot was penning (more like fingering bc i'm working on a touchscreen teehee pun intended) this tale to start my career as an insightfull (or insightful? With one l, idk) writer who is always correct in every situation.
Upon returning home, the concerning absence of my parental guardian stressed me out. Then i found out, my significant other abducted them. Now I know what you're thinking "jams, how did you find that out?" Well the hacker made me a myspace profile, i dont know how to use myspace, the platform is very unfamiliar to me. Anyway, my computer screen was in Myspace and there was a letter that the hacker left, saying he took my parents and leaving his phone number. idk why he gave me the number bc i already have his number bc he was my alpha male boyfriend, but anyway, i forgot about this circumstance until the hacker called me and asked for ransom momey in return for my parents. I worked very hard and by the end of the months the ransom was paid by me, under the mistaken belief that my parents were in danger, only to discover it as a deceitful ploy. He was using an advanced technique (i dont know how to spell this word) called lying.
I finally went to the police. I know what you're thinking "why did you not go to the police from the start?!" i know i should've, but it has no use bc a belated recourse to law inforcement (idk how to spell this word) yielded limited results bc they didn't do dooky (is this how you spell it?), and then it was revealed that my parents had ventured into the woods to find me, encountering their own predicament aka getting lost, it's very unfortunate. Determined to find my parents, I re-entered the woods, like the genius that i am. I got lost again, but this time i brought mtis water, a liquid so delicious that all my problems went away. This water had magic bc not long after i reunited with both my parents in the woods and an unexpected ally, Bigfoot, whose kindness played a crucial role in our escape from the woods, he was a smart fellow. Chapter 2 coming soon, apologies for the delay. Also bigfoot invited his friend grizgriz the grizzly bear to my house so he will be assisting me in writing the next chapter.
