Holiday Season Oneshots

I - Pyromancy

"LOOK! I just wanted a BREAK, alright? I mean, I know I'm supposed to be the head of this whole Multiversal Government Control Operation thingymajig, but like—"

    A boom sounded from the other side of the building, shaking the ground, cutting off the rest of my sentence. Screams echoed through the hallway outside as the fire alarm started blaring like crazy. Red lights filled my office, and the hologram in front of my desk was blocked by a large red triangle with an exclamation mark, with the words CODE RED, EMERGENCY EVACUATION below it.

    Outside, I could hear footsteps as people ran towards the evacuation pods.

    I was vexed.

    "Bloody heck," I muttered.

    "Code Red?" Lucas said from the hologram, standing up. His voice was barely audible due to the blaring of the alarm. The lights from the device on the ceiling was flickering a bit, making Lucas look like he was fizzling, or something similar. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he tapped on something I couldn't see on his side. "You haven't had that in a while. Which universe is it this time?"

    I stood up as well. "Well, I'm about to find out." I could barely hear myself over the alarms. I sighed. "Just as I was about to get a vacation. Awesome. See ya, Luc. Bloody duty calls."

    Lucas waved a goodbye, and ended the holographic call.

    I quickly grabbed my stun baton from the wall, tied my hair in a high ponytail, and crossed my small but messy office to the mahogany door. For whatever weird reason, the doors in the headquarters swung outwards, towards the hallway. When I opened it partly and stepped outside, I barely missed suffering fatal brain damage from a blade sticking out of the door right in front of my eyes.

    I swung the door fully open, and saw, to my right, Alex, my second-in-command, in his usual black jumpsuit, with another throwing knife in his hands. The rest of the hallway was deserted. I looked at Alex with my most exasperated face.

    His hazel eyes widened when he realized who it was he just tried to kill. "Oh. Sorry Chancellor Rowan!"

    Heavily despite the seriousness of the situation at hand, I jabbed a thumb at the penetrated door, and called, "That is mahogany, Alex! Also, that was the third time—why are you so intent on killing me?"

    Vice Chancellor Alexander simply rolled his eyes, then walked briskly past me, urgency in his every step. I went to walk beside him. "C'mon, we still need to assess the situation. The breakthrough is located in the East Wing, which is in lockdown right now. Summer—"

    Another explosion shook the HQ. I stumbled, then straightened, my left hand on the wall beside me. My eyes widened, and barely a moment later, I yanked Alex forward by the arm, as a chunk of granite nearly fell on his head.

    "THE SHUCK?" Alex exclaimed loudly. He started running through the corridors. "Summer said she was destructive, not THIS destructive!"

    "Who exactly is this 'she'?" I shouted over the alarms that were somehow still blaring in the mostly empty HQ.

    "I DON'T KNOW! BUT WE NEED TO FOCUS ON CONTAINING THE DEVIL BEFORE SHE BREAKS OUT!"

    We powered through the HQ as the explosions became more and more frequent. After a dozen or so turns, and two flights of stairs, we arrived at the steel door blocking the East Wing from the rest of the compound. I punched in the number code into the keypad on the wall, then put my thumb on the scanner right next to it. It turned green, and the door slowly slid open. I ran in first, my stun baton in front, with Alex following, throwing knife in one hand, and a taser in the other.

    "Any idea where in the East Wing?"

    As if answering my question, a blast of red-hot flames came from one of the right intersections in front. A wave of heat washed over me, and I was stunned for a moment, and staggered back. The flames quickly fizzled out, and a small girl, perhaps nine or ten, wearing a red cap, a red sweater, boots, and a backpack with a small animal-like stuffed animal hanging from it stepped out into view. She had bright red-orange eyes, blonde hair, and long, pointed ears. I was stunned again for a moment more when I saw a small ball of fire in her hands. She was...kinda cute. Did this cute youngster cause all those explosions? Surely not.

    Then again, why not?

    When she spotted me and Alex, her face brightened.

    "Oh, hello!" she called, waving, a smile on her face. "I was just going to Starfall Lake, but I fell into this hole, and I ended up in this teeny tiny room! I got scared so I broke out! Can you take me back to Mondstadt, please? I'm kinda lost..."

    She looked a bit sheepish, if anything. It was very hard to believe she couldn't caused all that destruction, but she did just admit to it.

    I lowered my baton. I tried a small smile, kneeling down to her level. "Hey, of course we could get you back to...uh, Mondsat. First off, what's your name?"

    "Klee! And this is Dodoco!"

    Klee produced what looked like a small, cute stuffed animal. The eyes and ears of what I assumed to be Dodoco poked out of a red bag. It was small enough to fit in one hand, and seemed to glow a distinct red.

    "Do you want to hold him?"

    "Rowan..."

    I smiled in a friendly way—at least, I hoped, I wasn't the best at smiling—and ignored Alex being paranoid as usual. "Sure! And you may call me Rowan, and the big mean brute behind me is Alex. Let me see this Dodoco—he's cute!"

    Klee nodded, and stepped forward enthusiastically, holding out Dodoco. Then, something zipped past my ear, and straight into Klee's arm. It sparked, and Klee immediately spammed, and began to fall to the floor, tased, Dodoco still clutched in her hand.

    In alarm, I reached out, and caught the girl before she could hit her head on the hard granite ground.

    I looked up at the source of the tase, and glared at Alex, who rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, looking a bit guilty.

    Well good.

    "Alex! The bloody heck was that for?" I demanded. "You just tased an innocent girl!"

    "I'M SORRY!" Alex yelped. He put his hands up, fumbling with his taser then dropping it on the ground. "I panicked! That thing—Dodoco, whatever—it could be a bomb or something and—I don't know!—if she gave it to you it might have exploded and I—" He sighed at my unwavering glare. He fished his walkie-talkie from his belt. "I'll tell Summer it's clear now, and to bring in the crew to do the memory wipe. Again, sorry."

    I copied his sigh. "Apology accepted I guess. Caesar's ghost you're an idiotic moron."

    After Alex contacted Summer, the crew came in. Alex and I had moved Klee to the cot in the infirmary, as it was the closest. As the crew was working on the memory wipe, I studied Dodoco, still in Klee's hand.

    "I am curious," I admitted. I reached out to touch it. "What is—?"

    I didn't get to finish before the thing exploded into a big—but harmless—fireball.

    Alright, maybe Alex was actually right just this once.