Unsaid Thoughts

Entry 2

SHS days come to an end as we all graduated together. Nakakalungkot kasi we never had a picture together at hindi ko pa siya na congratulate. Move on na tayo, at pumunta sa exciting na part. Collegeeee!!!!!

_______________________________

We are now first year students 💗

I was enrolled in BS Pharmacy Department together with my best friend. Yes, the same friend na tinutukso namin sa kanya. Hahahah

While he is enrolled as a Nursing student, same school? Yes!!!

This is the time na parang may nagbabago na, not in a romantic way but on how we approach each other. Bastaaaa hindi ko ma explain mga sis 😭

I will tell you our small moments na talagang kilig na kilig ako mga beshy and the things that confused me af!!!!!

_______________________________________________
#1: BFF

I will never forget that time nung ako lang magisa pumunta sa canteen. I forgot kung lunch time ba yun o uwian na nung hapon but yun. Dalawa kasi canteen namin, the one na tinatawag namin CC or College Canteen at ang BED Canteen which is malapit sa backgate. Kapag umuuwi kasi ako talagang sa backgate ako dumadaan para madaling makasakay nang jeep pauwi.

I don't know if may mga classmates or schoolmates akong makakabasa nito but now, ig I don't care. Hahahahah matagal ko rin tong tinago mga beh pagbigyan niyo na ako.

So back to the story. Ayun na nga nasa BED ako nung may tumawag sakin and that's Z and his bff. Tawagin nalang natin siyang
"Z", for sure kapag may nakabasa nitong schoolmate namin alam na kung sino tinutukoy ko. Kilala naman talaga Kasi si Z.

Lumapit ako and his bff ask something and I answered. Shet kinikilig parin ako as I recall what happened back then. So yun na nga, me and his bff starts to talk at nakatayo lang ako nun while they're seating facing each other. Nasa side ako ni Z while talking to his bff and beh!!!! I am so proud of myself dahil napigilan kong sumigaw at ngumiti nung bigla niyang hinawakan kamay ko.

He is holding my hand the entire time I was talking to his bff while staring at me, tangina!! HAHAHAA sorry for cursing pero beh shet talaga. I will never forget that. Parang matutunaw ako that time kasi naman beh ang higpit nang hawak niya at pinaglalaruan pa kamay ko that time. 

Sobraaaaaaa talaga yung saya ko nun 😭 but sis sinsabi ko sayo hindi ako nagiisip na gusto niya ako hahahaha kasi I will always think it's impossible for us to have that kind of relationship. Okay? Okay! It's just pure happiness and kilig nothing more.

_______________________________________________

As I entered college, ang hectic na mga beh! So medyo hindi na kami nagkikita nun but when that time when someone approached me to ask if I want to be a member of the school student council, dun na unti unting narerealize ko nahuhulog na talaga ako. Hindi na ito yung simpleng crush, gusto ko na talaga siya.

During my 1st year in college, aaminin ko napabarkada ako. I forgot to tell you that I loose weight before I start college and some guys starts to pay attention to me.

Masasabi ko talagang naging party girl ako that time, and I met a lot of guys. I have flings during those times and even though may nagbabalak manligaw nirereject ko agad kasi I don't see myself in a relationship pa. And I genuinely like someone else.

As I become a member of student government, napapadalas pagkikita naming dalawa kasi yung bff niya is also a member. So sometimes, tumutulong rin siya when we have activities and programs to do and he is a performer so parang given na talaga na magkikita kami.

I will share to you some things that confused me until today.

_______________________________________________

#2: Common friend

So me and Z as what I have said has a lot of common friends.

We have this one common friend "J"

This is not an interaction with Z but I confusing action did my J which relates to Z.

Diba nasabi ko na sa inyo that I love music and so is Z but my action is not for Z but a general and pure nga pagkagusto sa nakita ko as I scroll on my Facebook account.

One time I saw this post, which is shared by many. It was a post were a guys is playing a guitar at may quote na parang "ideal guy" which is I shared kasi totoo naman. Ideal ko talaga sa guy is also someone who loves music or can play instruments not only because Z can do it. So I shared that post.

After a couple of minutes, my notification akong natanggap and it was J. He commented on that post mentioning Z. Wala siyang sinabi, he only mentioned Z's name on my shared post which never in a million years kung inisip na mangyayari. Kasi naman never ko narining na nililink kami so talagang nagtataka ako beh!!!!! At alam niyo pa mga 5 minutes siguro after niya imention si Z he deleted that comment. So mas lalo akong nagtaka nang malala. First yun beh na may involve na iba 😭

#3: Younger member of the Theatre Club

So this is the second time na may involve na iba.

I guess alam niyo yung sa fb na if you react on a certain post they will tell you something, etc. So I reacted to this younger member of my previous Theatre club because I was so bored at that time, nagkasama kami kasi a year younger lang siya samin. Grade 11 siya kami Grade 12.

So it's actually a list, parang ganito

What I like about you:
Rate our friendship:

Parang ganito, and that time kasali dito sa list is yung tanong na "Who do you ship me with?"

What she answered shocked me HAHAHAAH nagulantang talaga ako beh!!!

Who do you ship me with: Kuya Z HAHAHAH

Literal na ito yung sinabi niya!!!! At first hindi pa ako sure if parehas ba kami nang iniisip o may iba pa siyang tinutukoy so I asked her again!!! And Z is that Z na tinutoky niya AHAHAHAHA kilig na kilig ako nun kasi hindi ko naman napapansin na madami palang nagshiship samin noon.

I asked her another question "Why would you ship me with him?" sinagot niya ako

"Ate kasi during our practice naririnig namin sila nina Kuya at Ate na parating tinutukso si Kuya Z and we all think na ikaw po yun" LIKE TF?!! Paano?

I am so confused during this time kasi never ko naman narinig or nakita na tinutukso siya so I don't what to feel or to think.

May halong kilig but mas more yung confusion mga sis sa nangyayari.

But after nung second and third moment wala nang sumunod for a couple of months kasi masyadong busy na ang lahat sa acads.

But not gonna lie, parati pa rin yung sumasagi sa isip ko at isang malaking palaisipan parin yun sakin.