Amnesia

Chapter 3

"Daniel, you are ready for society," Elder Walters smiled welcomingly. Daniel nodded lethargically and clarified, "So what city am I being sent to? You remember what I said about L.A., right?"

"To New York, Daniel. Of course, I remember. Let us renounce the past and move forward," said Elder Walters. "During your year and a half as a missionary, Daniel, you will be relieved from tithing obligations and will receive a monthly stipend from the congregation. You can paint too, don't worry, but the proceeds during this period must go to the community."

"I prefer not to sell them personally; instead, I'd rather donate them to the community and let them handle the disposal as they see fit," Daniel remarked with indifference. Art had never been a source of profit for him. When he first gained attention from the elite of society at his inaugural exhibition and received acclaim from critics, it wasn't a deliberate outcome of his actions. As a result, the money that came with the success served simply as a resource to meet his daily needs, rather than being a goal.

"Suit yourself, Daniel. You leave tomorrow with the other missionaries in the congregation. And don't forget to learn Japanese; all our young missionaries are multilingual, so you'll have to catch up," Elder Walters blessed him with a baptismal blessing and stood up, grunting, from his chair. "May the Lord be with you, Bell, in all your endeavors. Elder Smith will tell you the rest when you arrive in New York."

"Thank you, Elder Walters," Daniel helped him up, bowed his head politely, and went to get ready, satisfied that he was finally going to get back to his normal life. He had almost gone crazy during those long months of studying the Bible, the Book of Mormon, Mormon Doctrine and covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price; his eyes were jittery from the constant reading, and even when he fell asleep, his mind was filled with dull lines instead of vivid images.

During his time living in the community, Daniel had gained a healthy weight, and the thin surgical scars on his face and body had completely disappeared. The sole reminder on his face was the scar—a faint, barely perceptible line on his sun-kissed skin. However, this vestige would gradually vanish without a trace over the next couple of years. The skin's continuous regeneration process would replace the damaged cells with fresh epidermal layers, ensuring the scar's eventual disappearance. The recollection of the ordeal manifested as a slightly crooked pinky, now regaining sensitivity through wholesome physical labor. Daniel also contended with occasional nightmares, causing him to wake up in terror, haunted by the menacing, rage-filled black eyes of Vincent. The most challenging aspect was the detoxification and withdrawal from antidepressants and tranquilizers; the initial month brought dizziness and shakiness, but Daniel gradually overcame these symptoms as well.

The money he had saved was enough to pay his annual tithe, live as a missionary candidate for six months, and prove his determination to join the LDS Church at the interviews. Strangely enough, when they recruited new members, they did not feel this way, but they were wary of volunteers who wanted to join, assuming a dark past. Daniel's sincerity helped him - he told everything in confidence at the last interview, panting from stress and nervous tension, at which time he was hugged for the first time, patted on his stiff shoulders, and blessed to join and be baptized.

On the way to New York, Daniel slept through the flight, and then, holding back a yawn, rode the bus with Dylan Reilly, his companion and neighbor for the next year and a half. Dylan had never been to such big cities before, so he looked out the window at the skyscrapers and apartment complexes flying by, especially marveling at the huge billboards. Daniel smiled amiably, secretly envying his cheerfulness, hoping that in time he would regain the ability to rejoice. Currently, however, his soul was overshadowed by anhedonia, a gray and dreary state, hindering his full capacity for creativity.