Ignorance

Forgiveness.

Sometimes, life just doesn't feel real.

I don't know if you understand what I'm saying but it's like you're going through a video game, the higher the level the harder it gets.

Just when you think it's going to get easier it surprises you in the most profound way possible and you're left to pick up the pieces of the mess it's left you full in.

Sometimes, I wish life didn't exist.

That I didn't exist.

So right now, I'm in my room with my back pressed up against my head board as I sob silently into my knees.

Why does my life have to be so complicated?

At first, I had a life any girl would kill to have, then it was suddenly snatched away from me and I spent four years convincing myself that my family hated me.

That they wanted nothing to do with me.

I can't say it wasn't hard, but I found a way to make myself hate them too. But now that I think about, I was just deceiving myself because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fully find it in myself to hate them.

Many times over I kept telling myself that there had to be a reason, there had to be a reason for them to just abandon them like that.

But as hard as I thought, I couldn't think of any plausible reason which also made it hard not to hate them. So I was stuck with trying to hate them but miserably failing and finding a reason to forgive them and failing at that too.

I hate to admit it, but maybe that's the real reason that I came back with Alexi that day. Of course I came back for mom, but deep down, I also came back because I wanted to find out why they had chosen to abandon me that day, or at least find a reason to be able to hate them in peace.

At least I was successful with that, now in the short span of three days, I've found out that my family are in the Mafia business, they did what they did to protect me and I wasn't actually at a correctional facility but a secret Mafia children protection program.

Damn my life is such a fucked up mess .

Now the problem is, I've gotten my validation but I'm not as happy as I thought I would be when I found out that they had a reason. Infact, I'm actually more angry and don't judge me but the question that has been running through my mind is;

What didn't they tell me?

If in the first place, I had been told about my father's dangerous profession and the reason I was confined to our home all my life, then none of that crap would've happened and we'd still be a happy family.

And another problem is, how do I trust them? How am I sure that they're not hiding something else from me?

"Relic?"

My head suddenly jerks up out of shock to meet Atlas looking at me with a glint of concern in his eyes.

When did he get in here?

"I knocked a few times but you didn't answer so I just came in" he says his voice coming out soft and worried.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I silently stare at him.

I can't believe I was that lost in thought.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" I reply quietly while cleaning the tears on my cheeks.

His eyes scan over me as if that would help him find out what's wrong with me but when he doesn't, he sighs and looks at the watch on his wrist.

"It's time for dinner, everyone's already downstairs, we're just waiting for you" he announces before quietly leaving the room.