My Heaven

Ch 3

We walk to school. Luckily we live a few blocks away so it's not that bad of a walk. While we walk Beth and Maggie talk about school and what assignments are due, that the school year basically just started and the teachers assigned so much work already. "Mr Duncan is the worst. Really giving us a new essay to write every week", Maggie says as she's looking through her binder making sure she has everything neat and organized. The more steps we take the closer we get to the worst place on earth. Or at least the second worst. It's a pretty big school but everyone tends to know everyone... Expect me of course. The school is next to an Air Force base so students come and go since their parents usually get orders to another base in a different state. It's nice cause it's not like every teen movie or show school that has the set in stone cliques. Everyone mingles with each other and have their set friends, but there's usually no bullying. The jocks are cool with the band crew who are cool with the cheerleaders. The "nerds" are cool with the stoners who are cool with the comedians. Or it's at least from what I can see.
The bell rings and it's time to go to my first class. Biology 101. I walk in and head straight to my desk, hoping Brad my lab partner won't be in today cause all he ever does is talk. It's never about something interesting or important and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know my name. It's always about some stupid drama between two girls fighting over a guy that probably doesn't give a fuck about either of them. Or how Johnny got suspended again for smoking by dumpsters which is know as the stoners corner. The second bell rings and Brad is no where to be found. Maybe today is my lucky day. "Welcome back class. Let's get in groups of two and get ready for this lab I have planned", the teacher says. Great, maybe it's not. Everyone gets up and finds their friend to partner up with while I sit back and wait for the last person that has no one to choose from and has to pick me from default. That's when he walks over to me... Felix. "Can I sit here", he asks. I nod while keeping eye contact.
Felix was my crush back in fifth grade. He has brown curls that twist around like a delicious plate of spaghetti. Green emerald eyes that sparkle whenever you look into them. The most perfect smile that when he smiles all you can do is blush. My crush grew for him when he played Romeo in the fifth grade play. I was of course tree number 4 and only had three lines. While I was slowly walking to my spot in that horrible costume. In just a moment I tripped in front of him. Embarrassing I know but he helped me up and asked if I was ok. Physically yes but mentally my brain was going crazy. I couldn't even speak. I just stared into those beautiful eyes and nodded.
Felix was captain for our schools football team. He was the best player and would probably go to a major league college team on a full scholarship. Girls threw themselves at him and did everything they could to get him to notice them. He's had a couple girlfriends in the past but would end up breaking up with them cause, "being with them was a waist of time".  At least he's honest. After the accident my crush disappeared along side my happiness.
"Let's grad our textbooks and turn to page 125", the teacher says. I look over at Felix who looks upset cause he forgot his book. I slightly push my book in the middle of us so he can follow along especially since we will be working together. I need him to know as much as possible. He smiles at me which would have made my younger self blush uncontrollably, but now doesn't affect me... or maybe just a little.
Once the bell rings I rush out before he can say thanks. I walk down the halls getting bumped into by basically everyone walking by. Maybe cause I'm pretty sure I'm invisible. No one ever says sorry and keeps moving as if I was never there, like if I was a wall or something. I get to my next class. Shit, i forgot that my essay was due today. Well there goes my grade. Oh well, it's not like i was gonna get accepted into college. The teacher walks around class grabbing everyone's papers and when she gets to me, looks me in the eyes basically telling me she's disappointed. "I forgot the essay was due", I say then she follows up with " I reminded everyone on Friday". She walks away and starts the lesson for the week. I watch the clock counting as the arms move.
     It's finally lunch and I meet up with Beth and Maggie. We sit at a table outside that's to the corner of the quad and watch as everyone mingle. They talk about their morning classes and how teachers are assigning too much work. They look at me waiting for me to join the conversation hoping I had something interesting to say. "Well me and Felix are partners for my bio project". They look at me with excitement remembering the fifth grade and how I would say he would someday fall in love with me. "This is your time. You can get him now and live happily ever after ", Beth says while laughing. I shake my head, that would never happen and if it did, I'd go buy a lottery ticket cause I was struck by luck. They shrug and tell me if I put myself out there maybe, just maybe he can see how I'm amazing and beautiful. I look over to his direction and of course, Amber is sitting right there trying everything in her power to get his attention. She's the girl that every girl wants to be and every guy wants to hook up with. For some reason Felix isn't interested which is wild cause I mean she's beautiful. If she can't get him then there's no way I can. But why am I thinking this way. My crush on Adam has evaporated so move on. For the rest of lunch Maggie and Beth talk while I people watch. I'll chime in here and there throughout the conversation just so they think I'm listening. There's just so much on my mind to keep a conversation going. Plus I'm more of a listener than a talker.
    Once lunch is over I go to the few classes I have left of the day. It was such a long day, but everyday is like that. Learning a whole lot of nothingness that I'll never use in my life. I don't see a reason that most of what's taught in school is even a thing. When am I ever going to need to learn the circumference of a circle.... Never. So how about we graduate now and move on with our lives. It's the only thing keeping me here.