My sketchbook is filled with you

Losts and founds /Victoria

I think I'm going insane. Shit. Oh fuck. How could I loose my sketchbook? It's literally my most precious thing! It's a reflection of my mind. What if someone's going to open it and look at my drawings? No, I couldn't handle that. Shit, I really hope nobody found it. I will not survive it. And I am not  being dramatic right now. Or maybe I am? I don't know I'm just panicking. I shouldn't be this attached to a literal stack of papers with carbon on them. But I am. Art is just who I am. I do not have anything else. But I lost it. I lost my freaking sketchbook.

As soon as the class with mr. Remedy is over I run from my seat so fast if I was on olympics I'd win, I mean it. I don't think it's going to save something if someone already took it. But that'd be a nightmare. So I run across the street back to the café. I practically kick out the door and I start scanning the whole room with my eyes. And I see nothing. I see no signs of my sketchbook. Oh, my wonderful, amazing sketchbook. It's not here.

I'm going to ask some employee if they've seen it. Wait what? I'm going to ask some employee if they've seen it? Am I really going nuts here? With my social anxiety?

„Hello, I lost my sketchbook here today. It's a black notebook with drawings on it. I just wanted to ask you if there's a chance you've seen it?“

I did it. Huh??

„Oh, sorry I don't think I have. Nobody even brought anything to us. Are you sure you left it here?“

Well, fuck. It's lost. Yes, I'm pretty sure I left the most important thing of my life in here. I try to hide my helpless expression.

„I'll look for it more somewhere else. Thank you for your time.“

I want to literally scream.

I need to sit down. I find an empty table, sit on a chair and put my head in my hands. I stay like this for a while. Then I put on my headphones. At least I got them. I don't know how long I am there like this. I feel numb. So damn numb. My sketchbook.

Wait is that a Blue suns poster on the door? Am I already hallucinating? Nobody knows Blue suns. I am kinda convinced that I'm the only one who listens to them regularly. Although I would be delighted if they had a bigger audience, they deserve it. So I am losing my mind, because why would there be a Blue suns poster?

I go investigate. I walk closer to the door to see the poster more clearly. Okay, I think my brain is still working. This definitely is a Blue suns poster. Wow. They're playing here tonight. I'm shocked once again. Today is weird. I lost the only things keeping me safe and my favourite band of all times is going to perform in my favourite café. And why exactly did I not know about this?

So let's recapitulate. Someone took my freaking mind and I can see Sarah tonight. There's nothing I can do with the first thing. I have to get used to not having my sketchbook. Ugh, there were some great stuff in there. I'll have to get through the five stages of grief but I know I cannot do anything. And it's not like I had my name written on or in it.

And today I'm going to go to see perform a girl I've had a hopeless crush on since I can remember.

Hii, so this is a chaotic chapter. But I like describing the temperament of Victoria. As you can see, she's a bit of a mess. Anyways idk how this is gonna go and i hope someone will like this thing. See you!