Better Left to Fray

Epilogue (written by Holywoodunderfed)

Darkening skies beckoned the oncoming onslaught of precipitation. It was apropos, really. The sky seemed to be reflecting my mood and the thoughts that have overwhelmed me for the past hour.

I had only just become aware of my fingers drumming against the windowsill when a large creature squeezed me around the waist.

“What are you doing here all alone?” the thick voice interrogated playfully.

I forced a smile into the window upon seeing my intruder’s face reflected at me.

“Just thinking, Joel.”

Joel, my 6'4 non basketball playing boyfriend wrapped his arms around me in a loving sort of embrace. We had been together for the past month, meeting, in the bizarrest of ways, at a DnD game with him and some of his buddies. 

He's a year older than me, but he took a year away from school trying to find what his major would be. We had met at Freshman orientation, but I didn't think much of him then. I thought he was tall, a bit wiry, but I thought he was handsome with his curly ginger hair, square frame glasses and hazel eyes. 

After last summer, I was a little lost. Without my two best friends by my side, I decided to do the opposite of freshman year… try to make friends. Not many of my attempts were very successful. I guess people aren't too keen on having a sarcastic hothead as a best friend. Go figure.

But in a random class, I found that wiry ginger sitting in the seat adjacent to me. He complimented my binder, which was to say he complimented the half done drawing of a dragon eating spaghetti on said binder. I thanked him and complimented his shirt. A few sentences later, I was convinced to go to a small DnD session with his brother, his two friends and one of their girlfriends (I made sure I wasn't the only girl at the sausage fest).

After that first session went well, I found myself talking more and more with Joel and his friends. Soon I would talk to him during and after my classes, and play DnD and other nerd games every week. Supposedly, he liked me pretty much right away.

He asked me out once, and I flat out rejected him. Not because I didn't think he was cute, the opposite in fact. I just felt like it was too soon. I had anxiety attacks, thinking that he hated me or something worse.

He didn't. In fact, he took it well. We remained good friends up until Thanksgiving break. 

Something strange happened during the break. I was only home for a couple days, but I was able to spend a lot of time with Cassidy and Erik. I especially felt like I needed to spend as much time with them or my parents or my siblings as possible. I didn't want to think of either of the twins or anything related to my sordid past. 

And yet, I found I didn't think of them at all. I thought about how much I missed Joel, and some of my other friends from his group. Of course, I missed Cassidy and Erik more, and even made them promise to come up and visit me at university and play with us, even if the both teasingly joked I was, quote, "going to the dark, nerd side."

On a whim, I convinced the two of them and my mother to help me design/sew a t shirt with that stupid dragon eating spaghetti on it. Once back at university, I gave it to Joel for his birthday in early December. After he gushed about it and told me how much he loved it, I nervously asked him if the offer for dinner was still on the table. The look on his face when I asked him will forever be etched in my mind.

Long story short, I really like this dude. Something about his gentle nature and sincerity caught my attention. We've only been dating a few weeks, but, to be honest, it feels like longer.

"So whatcha thinking about?"

"I-" I began before I was cut off abruptly.

"You would think after getting a boyfriend, you'd be less dramatic!" Cassidy barged in behind Joel.